(no subject)
drastic measures. well not so drastic. but it is kinda stupid. im gonna fake ill for the next three days. maybe 5. thatmeans being alone in my room for however long, not eating, excersisng secretly. just being with my thoughts. not a good idea right now. but hey. i have to be skinny by friday. im going to see my friend in another country. and i must be gorgeous. also i have to show this guy. what a bastard he is. ok so ive liked him for god knows how long. but supressed it coz we're jsut friends. turns out he likes me. so he kisses me. then doesnt tx me. it has been a week. it has seriously pissed me off. u cantget my hopes up like that, kiss me and then not text even if it is just a hey how r u text. i even swallowed my pride and text him. i suppose it must hav just bin the drink. who wud want me. ugh. fuck him. i will show him. im gonna be so gorgeous the next time i see him, that he will regret overlooking me. and as for the mother who called me fat. i will show her how strong i am. she wont be able to say a thing then, and when she gets concerned, ill tell her i didnt do it on purpose and act all surprised, but secretly smile coz she helped contribute to it. i need to do this. it is gonna happen. calories dont make me happy. they prevent my happiness. perfection is not when there is nothing left to add, but nothing left to take away. UGH i hate feeling this bad. but i like the positive effects it has on my weight.