hello god? it's me mel
i was in one of those moods today that made me want to cry and i didn't know why.
i was sitting at my desk and i just wanted to bawl right there. i didn't care if my co-workers thought i was crazy. i needed to dammit
but i resisted. i felt better as i began to work a bit. it kept my mind occupied and forgot whatever made me want to cry in the first place.
i think i have just been overwhelmed with everything over the last few weeks. i am still not used to dealing with a whole bunch of stuff at once. this adjustment period sucks. HARD.
i also really miss having someone. i mean who wouldn't miss having someone there when you come home from a hard days work, someone who cared so much for you that he didn't care if you had bad days every once in a while and you just needed a shoulder to cry on. plus having someone you can be so close with is such an awesome feeling. i'm not just saying sex, i mean just a physical relationship.
so when i have one of those no good,terrible, horrible,bad days, i come home to an empty apartment and a buddy list of people who are too damn busy to take the time to just say hi, or even to make sure i am okay...
but alas,no shoulders to cry on here. just a bed to crash on and hope that i fall asleep as soon i can because dreams tend to be much better than reality at this point.
i know i am sounding like i am totally depressed or something, but i really am not. i just want to have a life outside of work, you know to maintain my sanity...
i was sitting at my desk and i just wanted to bawl right there. i didn't care if my co-workers thought i was crazy. i needed to dammit
but i resisted. i felt better as i began to work a bit. it kept my mind occupied and forgot whatever made me want to cry in the first place.
i think i have just been overwhelmed with everything over the last few weeks. i am still not used to dealing with a whole bunch of stuff at once. this adjustment period sucks. HARD.
i also really miss having someone. i mean who wouldn't miss having someone there when you come home from a hard days work, someone who cared so much for you that he didn't care if you had bad days every once in a while and you just needed a shoulder to cry on. plus having someone you can be so close with is such an awesome feeling. i'm not just saying sex, i mean just a physical relationship.
so when i have one of those no good,terrible, horrible,bad days, i come home to an empty apartment and a buddy list of people who are too damn busy to take the time to just say hi, or even to make sure i am okay...
but alas,no shoulders to cry on here. just a bed to crash on and hope that i fall asleep as soon i can because dreams tend to be much better than reality at this point.
i know i am sounding like i am totally depressed or something, but i really am not. i just want to have a life outside of work, you know to maintain my sanity...