we're the ones who turn away,
....filling our hands with empty tokens of a world that does not care....
I've heard that saying about how nothing worth while is easy...but sometimes it gets so wierd and incomprehensive that what's easy is become worthwhile. Even the words fail in this.
break down:
love can outlast any complication...except distance.
as of august 18th, I have 882 miles worth of love; fragile as a trail of bread crumbs. More than many sparrows deter our connection.
simplify:
It's a hard word to use, but I say it confidently. I love her. And while this distance can be traversed in a day, the real issue is will it last? I can only see her once a month at best, what with college and work.
I want to do it, I realy do. we can make it work. But, Jesus Christ, she knows as well as I that it will hurt more and more every time we say goodbye. I don't want her to stay up nights on a wasted romance, wishing for more, when she can have more.
Dear God, we prayed,
Heal our hearts with time.
I don't know if we had a mutual breakup so much as a mutual attempt to save eachother by destroying ourselves?
I don't know. What I do know is that I saw her cry for the first time, and I wanted more than anything to wipe her tears away.
What I do know is that it was raining when I left, so I could hide my own. Am I being strong? for her or for me?
am I just selfish for wanting to drive back to her house 50 miles over the speed limit and...and...
She's my first love. Is it right to give up so easy?
Easy?
this is easily the hardest part of my life so far.
I don't know if writing about it in a Live Journal will do much good. I know that love is perfect but can be the opposite of perfect, which is something like disaster.
I know I'm not the first, last, or only one to feel this way, but this is the first time I've ever had such strong, conflicting emotions. I'm sad that this is at an end. I'm glad that eventually She'll be over me and I her...eventually.
I'm angry that there is nothing more I can do and I'm shocked that I've lost so much control over my own feelings.
But, on the bright side, sadness brings out pretty damn good prose.
I'm such a nerd, even in my worst hour. that's not funny.
sleep now? Hopefully long and without dreams.
ok, I take it back, it does kind of help to write about it in live journal.
Dear god,
Heal our hearts with time. amen.
I've heard that saying about how nothing worth while is easy...but sometimes it gets so wierd and incomprehensive that what's easy is become worthwhile. Even the words fail in this.
break down:
love can outlast any complication...except distance.
as of august 18th, I have 882 miles worth of love; fragile as a trail of bread crumbs. More than many sparrows deter our connection.
simplify:
It's a hard word to use, but I say it confidently. I love her. And while this distance can be traversed in a day, the real issue is will it last? I can only see her once a month at best, what with college and work.
I want to do it, I realy do. we can make it work. But, Jesus Christ, she knows as well as I that it will hurt more and more every time we say goodbye. I don't want her to stay up nights on a wasted romance, wishing for more, when she can have more.
Dear God, we prayed,
Heal our hearts with time.
I don't know if we had a mutual breakup so much as a mutual attempt to save eachother by destroying ourselves?
I don't know. What I do know is that I saw her cry for the first time, and I wanted more than anything to wipe her tears away.
What I do know is that it was raining when I left, so I could hide my own. Am I being strong? for her or for me?
am I just selfish for wanting to drive back to her house 50 miles over the speed limit and...and...
She's my first love. Is it right to give up so easy?
Easy?
this is easily the hardest part of my life so far.
I don't know if writing about it in a Live Journal will do much good. I know that love is perfect but can be the opposite of perfect, which is something like disaster.
I know I'm not the first, last, or only one to feel this way, but this is the first time I've ever had such strong, conflicting emotions. I'm sad that this is at an end. I'm glad that eventually She'll be over me and I her...eventually.
I'm angry that there is nothing more I can do and I'm shocked that I've lost so much control over my own feelings.
But, on the bright side, sadness brings out pretty damn good prose.
I'm such a nerd, even in my worst hour. that's not funny.
sleep now? Hopefully long and without dreams.
ok, I take it back, it does kind of help to write about it in live journal.
Dear god,
Heal our hearts with time. amen.