I redid this until it turned awesome.
Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
Last Sunday I helped missasian see the light (8 points). In January I bought porn for _charmed_one (-10 points). In September I caught a purse-snatcher who stole marlasinger16's purse (30 points). In February I ruled Iran as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-672 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!
Sincerely,
minigod