(no subject)
Genaro. I get it. I FINALLY feel....distant. I don't care about ANYTHING. I don't know ANYTHING. I don't feel ANYTHING. I like it, but it's a bit confusing. I am not sure about a lot of things. I want to go back to Long Beach and just stop calling people to see who will call ME. And I want to skip a day of talking to whoever calls me, if anyone calls, so then we'll have more to talk about. But then again I don't. I am scared no one will call, and really...right now...i could care fuckin less. But sooner or later I WOULD care. I'd get used to it...but then again....I'd also be forgotten.I don't feel like talking, or writing, or smoking, or drinking. No music, no tv, nothing. Phone...off. I feel so....at peace? I dunno. It is nice, but I dunno how to keep it longer than just tonight. I want to go to Long Beach and find myself, but I don't know the first step. If I find it, I might not find the second step...and so on. I just don't know....and don't really care.