[Hawaii]
One year. One whole year, and he'd moved so far, but he... he still remembered. And maybe this was why Kon had been so snappish back at the Kent house - he'd known this was coming up.
The anniversary of the death of Tanya Moon.
Kon is exactly where he should be for this anniversary - he's sitting by her grave. It would be wrong to be anywhere else. He's left flowers there, her favourite kind. He's sitting here, the way he should be... But he just... he doesn't know what to do.
It was easy to talk to her face. It's hard to deal with the presence of the cold stone of a grave marker.
Maybe honesty was a good place to start.
Except he didn't want to admit out loud how much he missed her. He wasn't supposed to now: he was supposed to have had enough time to move on, right? And he had, kind of. But he'd never stop loving her, never stop wanting her there... it'd never really stop hurting.
"Just an idiot, huh?" He murmers out loud, shaking his head. Just like he was an idiot about this whole other mess. He never really did anything right... just botched it all up.
The fact that she was in the ground attested to that.
"I came here on your birthday, you know." He finally says, distracting himself from certain destructive thoughts. "Brought the flowers that time, too... though I guess you do know that."
Stupid again, but he really couldn't be anything but stupid at this point.
"Woulda came other times, but I've kinda not been around... I've been in Smallville. Trying to do the normal life thing." He can just imagine how she'd look at that; it's enough to make him snicker, despite the situation. "Except I'm kind of... failing at that. Totally screwed it up."
And now that he'd gotten into it, it was easy to fall into a rhythm, it was... easy to tell her everything.
"Look at me now, huh?" Kon shook his head, sliding further down the bench. "If you were here, you'd totally be kicking me for being a dumbass." It'd probably be something along the lines of 'You may be called Kid, but you don't need to live up to your name'.
And the thing is, she would probably be right. It's just that he hadn't known what else to do.
"Probably wouldn't even be in this if you were still around," He muses out loud, frowning. "We don't need no stinkin' secret identities, huh?" Except that... Clark was probably right about all of this. If Kon had had a secret identity from the start, maybe she... maybe she would have lived. The girlfriend of a 'Conner Kent' was a lot less vulnerable than the girlfriend of the big and bad Superboy.
The problem was, he had no attachment whatsoever to the name of 'Conner Kent'. And he probably never would. The only thing that made SMallville even half decent was Uncle Jonathan and Aunt Martha, and... well. He'd kinda messed that up real bad too, hadn't he?
Caught in these musings, Kon doesn't even notice the approach of another until a hand lands on his shoulder. He jumps, ready to spring to he offensive, and then relaxes when he sees it isn't an attacker.
And then blinks.
"Rex?"
"So it is true!" The familiar shit-eating grin spread across Kon's old agent's face. "I heard you'd been spotted, but I didn't know whether to believe it..."
"Yup. All true." Really, how could Kon not be here? This day, this place... he had to be.
Rex caught sight of the gravestone, and frowned, as if he could have possibly not realized what this was. "We all miss her.. she was so bright, so full of life..." The older man shook his head, forcing the mood ligther; he'd always been uncomfortable when it came about emotions, always would be. "So! Now that you're here, are you staying?"
"Staying?" The concept shouldn't sound so foreign...
"Yeah. We can set up again... maybe not -here-, but somewhere. Get you into the biz again. A little of this, a little of that... just like old times."
And the idea was tempting, it really was. It'd be so familiar, if nothing else... something he knew he could do. And yet... it really wasn't him anymore, was it?
Kon didn't know what he was, but it wasn't that.
He'd moved on.
"No," Kon cements it. "I don't think so. This..." he shakes his head. "It's not for me anymore, yaknow?"
Rex looked a little confounded at that, then he smiles faintly. "Yeah, I guess I do."
The anniversary of the death of Tanya Moon.
Kon is exactly where he should be for this anniversary - he's sitting by her grave. It would be wrong to be anywhere else. He's left flowers there, her favourite kind. He's sitting here, the way he should be... But he just... he doesn't know what to do.
It was easy to talk to her face. It's hard to deal with the presence of the cold stone of a grave marker.
Maybe honesty was a good place to start.
Except he didn't want to admit out loud how much he missed her. He wasn't supposed to now: he was supposed to have had enough time to move on, right? And he had, kind of. But he'd never stop loving her, never stop wanting her there... it'd never really stop hurting.
"Just an idiot, huh?" He murmers out loud, shaking his head. Just like he was an idiot about this whole other mess. He never really did anything right... just botched it all up.
The fact that she was in the ground attested to that.
"I came here on your birthday, you know." He finally says, distracting himself from certain destructive thoughts. "Brought the flowers that time, too... though I guess you do know that."
Stupid again, but he really couldn't be anything but stupid at this point.
"Woulda came other times, but I've kinda not been around... I've been in Smallville. Trying to do the normal life thing." He can just imagine how she'd look at that; it's enough to make him snicker, despite the situation. "Except I'm kind of... failing at that. Totally screwed it up."
And now that he'd gotten into it, it was easy to fall into a rhythm, it was... easy to tell her everything.
"Look at me now, huh?" Kon shook his head, sliding further down the bench. "If you were here, you'd totally be kicking me for being a dumbass." It'd probably be something along the lines of 'You may be called Kid, but you don't need to live up to your name'.
And the thing is, she would probably be right. It's just that he hadn't known what else to do.
"Probably wouldn't even be in this if you were still around," He muses out loud, frowning. "We don't need no stinkin' secret identities, huh?" Except that... Clark was probably right about all of this. If Kon had had a secret identity from the start, maybe she... maybe she would have lived. The girlfriend of a 'Conner Kent' was a lot less vulnerable than the girlfriend of the big and bad Superboy.
The problem was, he had no attachment whatsoever to the name of 'Conner Kent'. And he probably never would. The only thing that made SMallville even half decent was Uncle Jonathan and Aunt Martha, and... well. He'd kinda messed that up real bad too, hadn't he?
Caught in these musings, Kon doesn't even notice the approach of another until a hand lands on his shoulder. He jumps, ready to spring to he offensive, and then relaxes when he sees it isn't an attacker.
And then blinks.
"Rex?"
"So it is true!" The familiar shit-eating grin spread across Kon's old agent's face. "I heard you'd been spotted, but I didn't know whether to believe it..."
"Yup. All true." Really, how could Kon not be here? This day, this place... he had to be.
Rex caught sight of the gravestone, and frowned, as if he could have possibly not realized what this was. "We all miss her.. she was so bright, so full of life..." The older man shook his head, forcing the mood ligther; he'd always been uncomfortable when it came about emotions, always would be. "So! Now that you're here, are you staying?"
"Staying?" The concept shouldn't sound so foreign...
"Yeah. We can set up again... maybe not -here-, but somewhere. Get you into the biz again. A little of this, a little of that... just like old times."
And the idea was tempting, it really was. It'd be so familiar, if nothing else... something he knew he could do. And yet... it really wasn't him anymore, was it?
Kon didn't know what he was, but it wasn't that.
He'd moved on.
"No," Kon cements it. "I don't think so. This..." he shakes his head. "It's not for me anymore, yaknow?"
Rex looked a little confounded at that, then he smiles faintly. "Yeah, I guess I do."