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Dec 18, 2009 08:41

I apologize for those whom this is not intended ( Read more... )

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barakd2520 December 18 2009, 15:28:49 UTC
I want answers: any chance of me leaving you alone hedges on them. Otherwise, starting today, I'm bothering you every day until I die. Do you think I want to be in love with someone that does what you've done? How do your friends defend your actions? For any ill conceived behaviours I've done since you left me, you've done several. I had my family help accelerate you out of your student debts, I supported you in moments of your sadness and provided you with much levity... like, are you incapable of love? I did for you what some husbands wouldn't do for their wives, I'm hard pressed to think you'll ever have someone in your life again that would do for you the way that I would... and I'm still of the mind that down the road, things can be reconciled, but for you to maintain that you still loved me during and after our break-up and then to so completely drop out of my life... you're not a horrible person because I know you, but you're acting like one right now.
Do you feel that you're past the point of no return and you have to stubbornly trace the course you set for yourself? Why don't you stop, take a step back, and think about how you felt for me, how I"m feeling, and how that's a direct result of your actions in this situation.

You want me to deal with it? I can't deal with what I don't understand, and you calling me inaccurate terms like 'controlling' or 'disrespectful'... I respect you more than anyone else I've ever met: one of the things that attracted me to you so much was what I perceived to be a great sense of responsibility: it appears that you're very selective with the loose ends you tie up. You're so concerned with me letting go that you don't realize that you could greatly hasten that process, but the way you're doing things is only keeping me around.

You've kept my life in enough of a prison as it is, making it that trying to contact you - someone who so claimed to love me and have great loyalty and affection for me - will send me to a tangible one is no deterrent. I can't let go with what I have, and in honesty, I don't think it's the right thing to do.

And one last thing - and this isn't only for you to answer - friends of Sarah, whom I wish I could have met under better circumstances than these so that you could know me and evaluate both sides of this... how do you tell someone that you love them and abandon them without explanation? Among her changing stories was that I needed to 'grow' (no further explanation or details - I'm not a tall guy by any means, but I don't think that's what she was getting at :P), but isn't one major aspect of growth accepting one's responsibilities and tending to them?
You may be under the impression that I'm not your responsibility, Sarah, and it's true that I am not your mess to clean up, but I am the mess that you made, and if I want to know why, that is MY right - whether it's to better understand this situation for my sake or to feel that I understand why you did what you did - but I don't think that anything (that I can think of from my perspective on how things were) will be able to justify what you did, but I'd like you to try. I'm not the asshole you were with before: don't treat me like I'm worse.

I seriously hope that there's one bone left in your body that has the inclination to do the right thing.

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cookiesrevenge December 23 2009, 02:20:52 UTC
The right thing for her to do is to stop talking to you and file the restraining order. You've made it clear that you will not leave her alone on your own terms - how controlling of you.

You remind me of 2 of my ex's rolled into one, one my age, one 15 years my senior. I ran from those two ex's. Much like she's trying to do with you.

You show sings of being clingy, immature, and I would go on but clearly you are not worth the time.

Grow up, find your balls, get some friends to confide in and to distract you from all this.

The best thing for these types of issues/breakups is space - and please don't sit there and say "oh but you have no idea what the hell is going on" when I do.

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