A Season With You 1/?

[minhosims]

Title: A Season With You 1/?
Rating: G
Genre: Romance
Pairing: 2min, onkey
Summary: Taemin is a loner. He enjoyed all his wonderful time alone until Minho come and took away all his lonely time. Taemin doesn’t want to be a friend with Minho remembering his last friendship story didn’t end well and gave him a deep wound. He doesn’t want another

Comments

[choiahra]

Well so far the story is quite good & interesting as for a beginner :) albeit if you pay attention to the grammar & putting the emotion more, it'll little work better & cuter ^-^ and taemin's cold side makes me wonder in curiosity, nonetheless *__*

[minhosims]

what did you mean by putting the emotion more?
is it about showing more emotion on the character?

btw, thanks for the advices :)

[choiahra]

Means that to write more what they feel, describe further :)

[giveitupjessica]

this is a good start to your fic. the plot is definitely intriguing. i'm wondering what is going on in taemin's nightmares and how 2min will be with one another as time progresses. how they'll get closer and whatnot since i can't really see them getting along right now, but things can change pretty fast.

i think you should try to delve a little more into their characters. like someone suggested, write more about their emotions, plus their actions and expressions. it helps the reader to connect more to the story and the characters. i would also look into perhaps getting a beta to help you with grammatical and spelling errors.

[minhosims]

gosh, my grammar is a mess :(
i should buy grammar dictionary soon
hahaha

btw, thanks for the advice.

[stupidbakau]

Sorry for the late comment >.<

About grammar and stuff, I, myself are not really very good at it. So I can't comment anything on that >.< But you can try typing it on a word document to minizie other errors :D Just keep a lookout for the capitalization. Eg I is always capital :D
There are some typo here and there but don't worry because I do also make typo error >.< That's why I got someone beta for my english and my plot xDD

The plot is quite interesting, it make me curious about Taemin's past and the motivation to read on. And the writing and paragraphing is alright to me :D Timing wise is still alright :D since it's a chapter fic :D

like what other reader says :D a little more emotion would be better and description :D

If you are happy and satisfied with your work, you can cross post at shinee_replay and taeminho :DD *do tag correctly :D

Thanks for sharing :DD

[minhosims]

thanks for your advice
this grammar problem drive me crazy :(

hope you can enjoy the story :)
thanks for reading :)

[gyustine]

You're a good writer,
Its interesting,
You make the reader want to know more about the story,
I think you should continue this until the end,

Don't think about grammar and stuff yet,
Just make it flow by itself,

FIGHTING !!!

[lil_tvxqcamper]

New Reader! Wow they've met and what a coincidence that they are roommates, well I wonder what's going to happen and why Taemin is refusing to be nice to Minho ^^