How to cause offence in an equal opportunities manner...

[mingmerciless]

This is the result of a weird IM (and later SMS) discussion with aeshna_uk prompted by David Cameron's likening the Labour Party leadership competition to a Star Trek convention, requested by burntcopper (despite her calling us "fucking evil"!) and reproduced with only minor editing for consistency.. Collectively guaranteed to ensure I can get my head kicked in in any pub in the UK...

• Tories: BSG fans. They say their programme has changed completely but a lot of people don't believe them. Everyone agrees what they have to offer is grim beyond belief though.
  
• Lib Dems: B5 fans. What's left of a once massive movement. Intelligent but often overlooked by the general public and fail to get the recognition they deserve.
  
• Labour: Trek fans. Crumbling monolith that's well past its Best By date. Fortunes taken a serious knock lately but desperately trying to reinvent itself while still keeping hold of its old core support.
  
• SNP. Stargate fans. Mad, make a lot of noise but there's not that many of them and most people ignore them which annoys them even more.
  
• BNP: Demons fans. Reeks totally. Sometimes entertaining to talk and laugh about but you can't believe how bad it is and you deffo don't want to get too close to them.
  
• Greens: Farscape fans. Some interesting, offbeat ideas but forgot about need to attract the mainstream. So uncompromising that they never managed to build a mass following.
  
• Democratic Unionists: Star Wars fans. Rabid, fanatical, dedicated to their cause but recently increasingly irrelevant and let down by a leader who went off the deep end big time.
  
• UKIP: Classic Who fans. Always banging about how much better things used to be, wanting to withdraw from new developments, riven by factionalism and nobody else cares.
  
• Plaid Cymru: Torchwood fans. Welsh, looked down on and suspected of deviant sexual practices.
  
• Workers Party of (North) Korea: Whedonites. Absolutely dedicated to worship of their Leader but he's not done much of any note lately and all his projects seem to keep collapsing but that doesn't stop them insisting everything is the greatest ever. Also really defensive and touchy about criticism.
  
• Twilight fans: er... will let you know when they're old enough to vote
  

Now, where did I leave that flak jacket?