Where were you all my life? 56/?
Chapter 56 - Down Memory Lane
Pairings: Yunjae, little hints of Yoosu and Changmin / Lee Jun Ki
Warnings: mention rape and abuse, some violence, smut.
Summary:
Kim Jaejoong is forced to do business with the mafia who keep threatening him. Changmin, Junsu and Yoochun are responsible for his security. Jung Yunho is a cop investigating a paedophile/mafia man named Kim Jaejoong and the mafia is blackmailing him to do one job for them: kill Jaejoong. And so their paths collided. A week later, Jung Yunho is more than a prisoner in Kim Jaejoong's house and both mafia and cops are getting near the two men. Now Taemin is back and there's a race to find him first.
Chapter 1 - Jaejoong Intro, .... Chapter 47 - Today Is The Day, Chapter 48 - Anxiety, Chapter 49 - Aim! Fire!, Chapter 50 - Flight or Fight?, Chapter 51 - Drop It Or He Dies!, Chapter 52 - Beating Hearts, Chapter 53 - Keep Calm, Don't Panic!, Chapter 54 - Is It Over?, Chapter 55 - After The Adrenaline
Jaejoong was still sitting on the floor, his eyes lost in space. He was looking out the balcony but not really seeing anything. He was just sitting there hearing the silence. His tears had finally stopped for some time now. Thinking of nothing felt good so he remained there a while longer.
Eventually, he moved his head to look around the room.
One strange thing he knew for sure: he had no desire to change anything about the room. It was true that on that very bed was where he and Yunho had met in a fucked up way but it was also on that bed where they had made love and on that bed that Yunho had hugged him to sleep. To try to erase the bad memories he would have to erase the good ones and he didn’t want to do either.
The slim man moved to the bed where he had barely slept the night before. The sheets still held a faint smell of the cop and he had found out that he was no longer used to sleeping alone. There was even one point in the long night when he almost went into Yunho’s room, if nothing else, at least so that he could sleep.
Jaejoong looked at his reflection on the mirror. He felt that he looked awful. The fight with Siwon was now clearly visible in the swollen bruises. The sleepless night without Yunho only adding to his mental exhaustion.
He found himself remembering the talk with Ren the day before.
…
Trip down memory lane
The two boys had spent the first minutes just screaming in joy and going over who looked taller and how much they had missed each other. The happy moment repeated with Ren’s brother and a third time with Ren’s mother. Then inevitably came the questions.
-Where have you been? Why did you disappear?
Jaejong felt like he wanted to run out of the room in that moment. Somehow he remained sitting as Taemin told a shorter version of why he had run away, thankfully skipping the detail of what had happened to Ren since he knew the other boy had no memory of that. Pretty much Taemin only admitted to Siwon making him feel uncomfortable and that the other men with him looked scary so he had chosen to run away. It was more or less what Jaejoong had hinted at before. Then Taemin’s voice started to falter as he recounted how there had been people looking for him in the old neighbourhood. The teenager gave almost no details about what it had been like when Siwon captured him and how he had seen the lawyer kill someone. However, it was more than enough to have the three people on the other side of the ocean utter sounds of shock and disbelief. Taemin rushed to how he had escaped and stayed hidden until he had been found by Jaejoong and how Siwon was going to jail now.
Everyone sensed how much Taemin didn’t want to discuss anything more about Siwon. Behind the teenager, Jaejoong was having trouble keeping a controlled face. He had noticed Mrs. Park’s eyes watching him from time to time and it just made him remember how he felt guilty. After all, he was the one who had brought Siwon into the two boy’s life.
Junsu was almost about to try and touch Jaejoong to snap the man out of whatever he was thinking when Mrs. Parker’s voice sounded very clear in the uncomfortable silence.
-Mr. Kim, it’s not your fault.
Jaejoong lost it then. He choked back the first sob but couldn’t stop himself from crying at the woman’s words. He had seen in her eyes that she had finally realised what had happened to her own son. How could she still say it wasn’t his fault?
Junsu approached the crying man and noticed how he tensed for a second before accepting the hug. The bodyguard remembered Yunho’s words and Mr. Jung’s account of Jaejoong’s reactions to contact and with a small wave of his hand stopped the others from approaching. The slim man cried in his friend’s arms while on the background Mrs. Parker tried to calm him down and repeat that he should never blame himself for one mad man’s wrongdoings.
Taemin got up and with a shaky voice, his eyes teary as well, added with a remarkable determination for his young age what he himself thought.
-Mr. Kim, I owe you my life. Thanks to you I’ll be finally be able to go back to a normal childhood. What Mrs. Parker just said is true: it’s not your fault.
-Thank you. Thank you both so much.
Ren had sat quietly the last minutes but he looked at Jaejoong and held his gaze.
-I feel incredible sorry for not speaking to you about how I thought that you didn’t look happy with… that man. And how I should have noticed how creepy he was, how his interest in me and Taemin was… I didn’t follow my instincts. I’m sorry. But I refuse to think I’m at fault, I won’t let him make me feel like that. And you shouldn’t either, Jaejoong.
-Ren… - Jaejoong tried to say “thank you” again but it was lost in a sob.
Mrs. Parker decided it was time to think of the future and turned to Taemin.
-Ok, enough of all this crying business. This is a happy moment. So… Taemin, when are you going back for your guitar? I miss hearing you play.
Back to now
…
Jaejoong still had the odd moment when he would feel responsible for never noticing in time what kind of person Siwon was but… hearing that it wasn’t his fault from the exact people who had every right to condemn him had been liberating.
Thinking that he had already stayed hidden in his room long enough he decided to go in search of where everyone was hiding. Jun Ki had gone to the office with Donghae and Eric but only after Changmin had practically forced him to go with both the guards, which had caused an interesting scene at breakfast. It had been a huge contrast to how they had behaved the day before when even in the midst of his misery, Jaejoong had noticed how both men would allow their bodies to touch as if searching for that contact. Yoochun had thought nothing of their bickering but Junsu had been surprised as well, so that meant that there really was something going on.
As he walked down the corridor, Jaejoong felt a shiver down his spine. He would do something about the room where he had fought with Siwon. That was for sure. Changmin’s room was right next door, maybe an extension? The tall man liked to play the younger card and be spoiled, surely he would love to get a bigger room and it was also always a good idea to get an extra storage room.
The somewhat calm mood only lasted until Jaejoong passed by the security room. He felt compelled to pause. A guard was there monitoring the cameras and had left the door open.
It was because of what he had seen in those cameras that he needed to get rid of the room where Siwon had been caught.
…
Trip down memory lane
Jaejoong and his bodyguards left Taemin quietly talking with Ren when they heard the commotion caused by paramedics and police. Siwon was handcuffed and screaming obscenities, fighting even against the paramedics trying to take care of his bullet wounds. Giving up, they sedated him before taking him away.
Yunho was nearby with Il Woo. Changmin went to check on them and the others followed.
Il Woo turned to Jaejoong to ask permission to retrieve the security camera footage.
-Sure. Take anything you need. Please. Anything to make sure he’s convicted.
They all ended up inside the security room and it was Yoochun who sat and searched for the exact moment when the attack had started. The bodyguard started to save everything in the files from that moment on. Jaejoong stared at the frozen frame of the camera pointing at the front gate where a van could be seen. He was suddenly trying to remember everything that had happened and was getting a headache realising he was unable to do that.
-Wait. I want to see it.
-What? But… why? - Asked Yunho.
-I… I know I blacked out for a few moments. I want to see it. I need to see it. Yoochun, play everything.
Yoochun looked doubtful at his boss but the determination he saw convinced him to obey. With a sigh, he pressed play.
The images showed the initial surprise attack, then how Siwon got inside the house and managed to grab Taemin. Mr. Jung was visible in a corner of the screen pressing an alarm button hidden near the living room sofas.
Jaejoong saw himself running to the security room and then going to hide. Changmin cursed. No one paid him much attention until he faced Jaejoong.
-Sorry, Jae. I took care of the blind spot in that room the very next day.
-Oh…
None of the cameras had sound. It made watching Siwon drag a crying Taemin even more disturbing. Suddenly, voices were heard:
-Hi, darling. Remember me? Did you miss me?
-Release him!
Changmin sighed and scratching the back of his head, confessed a second time.
-Did I mention I also added sound?
-Sound is good. It will help far more than just images. He can’t claim a misunderstanding with all of this. - Said Il Woo.
Everyone stared at the images. Even knowing that everything had turned out ok, it was still stressing to watch. Jaejoong heard breaths of relief when after his apparent surrender he started to fight against Siwon.
-Well done, Jae. - Said Yoochun and next to him, Changmin and Jun Ki were nodding their agreement.
Jaejoong however was focused on the sound even more than the images. During the fight he had tried his best to keep Siwon busy and it was as if only now he was finally realising the man had been talking the entire time. What the lawyer was saying throughout the fight made everyone flinch. Jaejoong wondered if he should ask Yoochun to remove the sound. Il Woo was looking speechless. Siwon was basically confessing to all his crimes during the fight.
-Come on, precious? Playing hard to get? Are you waiting for your pretty boys to come and save you? No one is coming to help you. That cop, Yunho, he’s probably dead by now and if he’s not, he’s going to jail. I killed a friend of mine and pinned it on your new boyfriend. Sent a video proving that Yunho killed him instead to the police Captain this morning. And another one to Internal Affairs. No one is coming to help you, my darling.
Yunho watched the fight on screen and stole glances at Jaejoong. He was surprised with the business man. He knew the beautiful man was a strong person but the way Jaejoong had held himself during the fight even hearing all that Siwon said was making him feel very proud.
The images at the gate showed Yunho arriving in his motorbike.
The images in the room had Siwon managing to grab Jaejoong and forcing a kiss.
Yunho felt his entire body tense, realising for exactly how long Siwon had touched Jaejoong that way. The others fidgeted uncomfortably, finding the images hard to watch.
Jaejoong rubbed his arms. That part he remembered clearly; he remembered the fear, the disgust and his brain trying to escape. Junsu almost automatically tried to reach for Jaejoong but the business man flinched away. The bodyguard caught Yunho’s eyes watching the small interaction. The cop seemed to experience a moment of relief. Junsu understood why. Yunho had seemed very hurt with the fact that Jaejoong had avoided him. It probably was a comfort knowing he wasn’t the only one Jaejoong was avoiding.
Siwon kept talking, on and on, in between kissing and trying to get rid of Jaejoong’s shirt, while the slim man’s attempts to escape got weaker and weaker.
-Your friend Ren got off easy, you know? I didn’t want to wait any more so I drugged him. Pity. He didn’t fully appreciate all the pain I gave him when I fucked him raw again and again. But you… Oh, my precious. You’re so pretty. I’m finally going to fuck you the way I always wanted to. You were always so annoyingly numb under me. But not anymore. Huh? What’s up with those eyes? Are you trying to escape me?
Yoochun pressed pause and turned haunted eyes to his boss.
-Ok, he obviously confessed more than enough. It’s pretty obvious this footage will throw him away to jail.
-Keep playing it. - Said Jaejoong.
-Jae…
-Do it.
Yunho’s hands were turned into fists at his side. He didn’t understand why Jaejoong felt like he needed to see this. Yet, something about the man’s demeanour told him no one would convince Jaejoong otherwise. He looked at the others. They all seemed to share the same pained hopeless opinion. Yoochun sighed and pressed play.
-You think you can run from me inside your head? I won’t let you. You are going to scream so loud you won’t even have a voice to beg anymore. You and that kid over there, no drugs for you. You will enjoy everything I’m going to do and dream of the day I’ll allow you to die.
Yunho sighed in absolute relief when he caught sight of himself entering the security room. He had been so focused on what was happening on the other screen that he hadn’t noticed this was when he was about to finally interrupt Siwon.
Everyone froze when the images showed Yunho pulling Siwon from Jaejoong. The business man was the one more affected by it. His brain had shut down before that and he didn’t remember this part as well. He was surprised at how angry Yunho looked in his behalf. From that point on, Jaejoong had no problem associating his confused memories with the images on display. There were two final moments that made him flinch. One was Yunho beating Siwon unconscious, he didn’t like to see that kind of rage on the cop. The other was when he had backed away from Yunho and the hurt on the man’s face.
Yoochun checked that the necessary files had already been copied and handed them to Il Woo while the rest of the images played on.
Yunho seemed to pause for a moment as if unsure of what to do, then he turned to look at Jaejoong straight in his eyes.
-You did great. I wouldn’t have been able to catch Siwon by myself. And yet, you nearly did it all alone.
-Yeahh, you sure put all that training to good use, boss. Well done. - Said Changmin with a thumbs up signal.
Jaejoong didn’t say anything in replay. He was angry that he had ended up having a panic attack anyway, despite his best efforts, but after seeing the footage he no longer felt like he had been a helpless victim waiting for rescue.
Back to now
…
With a shake of his head, Jaejoong focused on what the screens were showing now and not what he remembered from yesterday. The living room was empty. His friends, Taemin and Jonghyun were outside in the garden, near the pool.
He went down the stairs into the living room with slow steps. The silence was deafening. The room not only looked empty but felt empty too and the business man had a sense that the entire house would feel like that to him, even with Taemin and Jonghuyn playing around.
There was no Mr. Jung watching tv anymore. Jaejoong sighed with a sad resigned pout. He missed his own father but he had always felt as if he could never be really capable to fulfil expectations. Yet, with Mr. Jung it was so easy to feel acceptance. The old man gave everyone this vibe that no matter what, he would listen to you and give the best advice in the world. Off course with no Mr. Jung there was also no Yunho but that… that he needed for it to be that way.
Shaking off his melancholy mood with a sad smile and a shake of his head, Jaejoong went to meet everyone at the pool. On his way, he nearly screamed at a spider who had put her web in the middle of the path at eye level. Staring at it, Jaejoong made his fiercest face.
-If I looked Siwon right in his eyes and still punched him, it won’t be you and your disgusting legs that will make me scared now.
Changmin had noticed Jaejoong frozen in the middle of the path and noticing the spider web, took off running to the rescue. Only to freeze midway when his boss simply ruined the web and then stepped on the spider and carried his way as if nothing.
Jaejoong smiled brightly at his stunned bodyguard.
-Hi, Minnie. What’s with the face?
Changmin remained glued to the same spot for a few more seconds. Nearby Junsu was smiling at Jaejoong as if everything was perfectly normal. “Siwon’s arrested, Yunho’s gone and Jae just killed a spider! Normal my ass! Oh, well… I guess we could all use a holiday from stress.”
The tall bodyguard joined his friends. This afternoon they had to take Taemin to testify at the police station and then sort out the boy’s situation with social services. They had to finish their own testimonies. There was still a lot of his men at the hospital that he and Yoochun needed to go check on. Unfortunately, they even had funerals to prepare. There was still a lot of unpleasant stuff to deal with it. However, he agreed with Jaejoong. Right now, they could use at least a few hours of relaxation. No worries in the world.
…
Chapter 57 - Bureaucracy And Just Time,
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Wrote this today and posted with little revision. Just a little more on what's cooking inside Jaejoong's head before we start moving forward.