On Death and Faith and the Point
The death of a friend's cat recently found me reflecting back upon something that I keep coming back to, more and more, as I advance in years. I thought about this a lot out at Burning Man as I do every year, and I think about this every time I, or someone I care about, loses someone or some thing in their life that they love.
I'm completely convinced of the existence of a higher force in the universe. every life form is like a drop of rain that eventually finds its way back into the sea. It's all connected. It's all God. It all rocks.
And I do believe in an ultimate purpose - that is to connect, and share our own energy with other life forms, other people, animals, the world around us. And when we die, we take the sum of our experiences back into the fold, losing our individuality and becoming part of that much greater thing once again. That is the sacrifice of death : ego.
I fully expect that in the final moment of my own ego, as my energy melts back into that Divine pool, my strongest sensation will be that of humility and shame. I could have given more. I could have loved more. I could have participated more and learned more and helped more and worked more in this life than I did. I could have explored more of the human experience. Wasted life, wasted time.
Passive is the lowest state of existence. Even if you're doing totally fucked up shit to this world, at least you're doing something with your life. But 'totally fucked up shit' is a value attributed to behaviour, and we feel that negative charge in our hearts whenever we engage in acts or thoughts that cut in conflict with the ultimate thrust of forward momentum. Though I'll be the first to admit that it is certainly possible to misinterpret that charge. We do it all the time in ways great and small.
I know more and more athiests in this world. Athiests tend to be pretty smart people who don't need the warm comfort of a shephard culture to make them feel okay about their own eventual death. They've asked the big questions, and generally considered the options and come up wanting for a soilid answer. I think athism is a lot closer to agnosticism than most people are comfortable admitting. It's such a big issue, it's easier, ultimately to just expect that when you die, you're gone and that's it. Since it's coming anyway, and there's nothing to be done about it, it's better to just accept it and get on with living. There is no order to the world, no secret being held waiting on the other side of the curtain. No point to life, other than to live it with as much joy as possible, and hopefully some sense of responsibility and fair play.
By a lot of people's definitions, I guess I'm an athiest too. I don't beleive in messiahs. I don't believe in a creator who watches from a distant point. I don't beleive in an afterlife as dictated by scripture, or a place we go if we're 'bad', nor that the concept of such alternate endings should be the driving force in whether or not we choose to fuck over or assist our fellow beings in this life. The notion of reincarnation is attractive but entirely illogical, and stuff simply has to make logical sense to me for it to be acceptable.
We were Episcopalians when I was growing up, but my grandmother was a Quaker.When I was about eight, I asked her why she didn't go to church, and her answer has more or less guided the thrust of my own spiritual life ever since. "You want to get close to God?" she asked. "Go take a long walk deep into the woods. Get away from everything made by a man. Sit down next to a tree and just sit there for a while. You'll feel it out there."
All these years later, I don't feel like I need that heavy duty method to plug in to the juice - you can feel it deep in the heart of bustling New York City every bit as well, but there are plenty of distractions in the feedback process.
I'm wrapping this one up a lot earlier than it deserves. I'll resume later.
I'm completely convinced of the existence of a higher force in the universe. every life form is like a drop of rain that eventually finds its way back into the sea. It's all connected. It's all God. It all rocks.
And I do believe in an ultimate purpose - that is to connect, and share our own energy with other life forms, other people, animals, the world around us. And when we die, we take the sum of our experiences back into the fold, losing our individuality and becoming part of that much greater thing once again. That is the sacrifice of death : ego.
I fully expect that in the final moment of my own ego, as my energy melts back into that Divine pool, my strongest sensation will be that of humility and shame. I could have given more. I could have loved more. I could have participated more and learned more and helped more and worked more in this life than I did. I could have explored more of the human experience. Wasted life, wasted time.
Passive is the lowest state of existence. Even if you're doing totally fucked up shit to this world, at least you're doing something with your life. But 'totally fucked up shit' is a value attributed to behaviour, and we feel that negative charge in our hearts whenever we engage in acts or thoughts that cut in conflict with the ultimate thrust of forward momentum. Though I'll be the first to admit that it is certainly possible to misinterpret that charge. We do it all the time in ways great and small.
I know more and more athiests in this world. Athiests tend to be pretty smart people who don't need the warm comfort of a shephard culture to make them feel okay about their own eventual death. They've asked the big questions, and generally considered the options and come up wanting for a soilid answer. I think athism is a lot closer to agnosticism than most people are comfortable admitting. It's such a big issue, it's easier, ultimately to just expect that when you die, you're gone and that's it. Since it's coming anyway, and there's nothing to be done about it, it's better to just accept it and get on with living. There is no order to the world, no secret being held waiting on the other side of the curtain. No point to life, other than to live it with as much joy as possible, and hopefully some sense of responsibility and fair play.
By a lot of people's definitions, I guess I'm an athiest too. I don't beleive in messiahs. I don't believe in a creator who watches from a distant point. I don't beleive in an afterlife as dictated by scripture, or a place we go if we're 'bad', nor that the concept of such alternate endings should be the driving force in whether or not we choose to fuck over or assist our fellow beings in this life. The notion of reincarnation is attractive but entirely illogical, and stuff simply has to make logical sense to me for it to be acceptable.
We were Episcopalians when I was growing up, but my grandmother was a Quaker.When I was about eight, I asked her why she didn't go to church, and her answer has more or less guided the thrust of my own spiritual life ever since. "You want to get close to God?" she asked. "Go take a long walk deep into the woods. Get away from everything made by a man. Sit down next to a tree and just sit there for a while. You'll feel it out there."
All these years later, I don't feel like I need that heavy duty method to plug in to the juice - you can feel it deep in the heart of bustling New York City every bit as well, but there are plenty of distractions in the feedback process.
I'm wrapping this one up a lot earlier than it deserves. I'll resume later.