Spoilers for S4 E2 Game of Thrones - this rant brought to you as a reaction to the imdb reviews
All the spoilers! Do not read if you do not want spoilers.
One of the first things I asked J after the episode was whether the show was using different writers this series, because the dialogue, characterisation and pacing of that episode really weren't up to the usual standards. No, he said, they still had the same people. But wait, that was a GRRM episode.
So it turns out GRRM is noticeably not as good as Benioff and Weiss when it comes to writing his own characters.
(okay, Blackwater is brilliant, but a lot of that is the direction. Bear and the Maiden Fair and The Pointy End don't stand out in either direction. So maybe GRRM just had a bad day with this one, which is a bit of a shame for the death of a major character)
I'd spoiled myself for the fact Joffrey dies at his wedding, and how, but I'd managed to false spoiler myself (I thought more of the guests were going to die). J had also guessed he was going to die, and die early in the series - his character had nowhere left to go and in order for the conflict of the show to continue the throne needed to be emptied again.
Even if we hadn't, the episode telegraphed it like mad. "Look at the next in line. Now look at people who hate Joffrey. Now look at the next in line, and back to the people who hate Joffrey." We haven't seen his brother since the battle of Blackwater, but now the camera is really dwelling on him. And all the people who hate Joffrey.
Since the episode wasn't a single plot thread, like the battle, we had slightly awkward appearances from the characters who didn't make it into episode one. We had the Shae plot, which was awkward too - it either needed more time on it, or less. And it really didn't need "I love you so I'll be mean so you'll leave" trope. I mean, she's been dense as hell about the fact everyone wants her dead, but this felt so obvious.
If the episode had spent less time being completely unsubtle about Joffrey's upcoming death it would have had more time for the other plots. Shae could have been done more smoothly, or something more balanced could have been done to intertwine the Bran and Bolton plotlines.
At the end of the day, it was still good, because the actors are great. Sansa especially. Peter Dinklage was weaker in the Shae bits, but was good during the wedding, and Jack Gleeson was clearly having a whale of a time.
What I did like was the medieval feel of the wedding, like having the dwarves comedically re-enacting the war, and the political tussle over the leftovers. That stuff was a lot of fun. I liked the Queen of Thorns banter with Tywin, too, but the episode was also unsubtle about "the crown owes lots of money to lots of people, by the way that includes these people, did we mention the wedding is very expensive, gosh that's a lot of money to owe people". Hmm, more heavyhanded foreshadowing? You don't say.
Maybe I'm not giving GRRM enough credit; maybe he realised his readers/viewers have already figured out Joffrey's days are numbered, and figured the massive foreshadowing would have them rubbing their hands in gleeful anticipation. Doesn't explain the awkward pacing, but that's partly due to only having ten episodes to cram a huge amount of plot into, and they couldn't waste the minutes. But still... It reminded me of the last episode of season two, which consisted just of wrapping up a ton of stuff in a post-blackwater hurry that was awkward and rushed and massively unsatisfying, especially for a finale. Which was the worst episode of the show, and why this is only the second worst.
I wouldn't be half as ranty if the show wasn't generally so good, and if the other reviews of the episode weren't so glowingly positive.
Related to the point about subtlety:
Something that's been bugging me recently is all the "things that are different in the books" that are exactly the same as the show.
"In the book, Littlefinger is attracted to Sansa because she reminds him of her mother." Seriously? That's not even subtext in the show, that's text.
"In the book, Catelyn is motivated by her family, and Robb makes poor political decisions due to his sense of honour." I'm sorry, but what on earth do you think their motivations in the show are? Are we meant to think Robb was making politically smart decisions?
"In the book, Theon is sympathetic." If you find him unsympathetic in the show, you owe poor Alfie Allen an apology for overlooking the effort he put into his nuanced portrayal of a man with divided loyalties who desperately wants love and respect from someone.
Seriously, if you're going to run an article about the differences, run one about the actual differences: amalgam characters, deleted characters, invented characters. Not characters who are exactly the same, except you can't read their actual thoughts so have to pay attention to what the actors are doing. It's a great cast! Watch them!
(I bet you prefer the Blade Runner with the voiceover, don't you, article writers?)
I apologise to anyone who felt differently about the episode and doesn't appreciate my bluntness. My tongue is at least partially in my cheek throughout :)