I feel low
Yeah, I just kind of feel like worthless shit and I worry about not doing things.
And I think I found a good way to describe determinism.
Everyone believes in cause and effect, but then something else (a deciding agent) in the mind that allows for more than one path. Well, since you didn't acquire this agent by volition, any subsequent usage of it will be determinent on the unvoluntary acquisition of it. And it's true that this is different from natural cause and effect because it will not be necessarily determinable (as in the effect can't be predicted, not that it isn't determined previously), but if you were to say choose the other path, you make the decision to follow that path because of your perceived notion of what will cause the most benefit for you (and yes, your perception is shaped by outside influences (influences being the infinite series of causes and effects experienced by others)).
Actually that wasn't clear at all to anyone besides me and probably Kelly, and I knew that as I wrote it, but whatever. It's what I was thinking as I was lying awake last night.
I had an economics quiz today that went to smithereens. I hate school. I hate that my end goal in life requires so much of unneccessity.
Something in my room smells like absolute feet. It's not even bootleg, because that would entail a fake leg, and thus a fake foot which wouldn't smell like a real and very pungent one.
Also, I think that referring to something as shit (i.e. my paper is shit) portrays an accurate emotion when certain people use it. Like I think Badchem, you use it well. Just thought I'd throw it out there.
Why do I feel like me and all my highschool friends are gonna drop out of college and start a nonprofit and save the world because no one else is as capable as us. I miss BLS.
I went to an "Engineers Without Borders" meeting last night. I liked it, but I don't know if that's the best way to employ my capabilities and beliefs. There was a guy there talking about how the environmental movement was falling apart because it wasn't embracing the benefits of market models (capitalism). Essentially he was saying that environmentalism would have to become capitlist in order to have any influence. I still don't know how I feel about it. I think it could work to an extent, but only for like independent farmers in rural communities who don't really have as great an effect on the environment as larger corporations dumping highly toxic waste.
Basically I don't know how I'll have the largest effect on people. My Philosophy...I don't know how to get people to understand it. Human Rights...I don't know if I'm putting my efforts into a black hole. Environmentalism...I see as the most beneficial and most urgent of the needs. But I see my philosophy as the most worthwile and as having the most potential to affect others to give a shit about the environment and human rights and all the good things that ensue.
I'm thinking of applying for transfer to Swarthmore. My TA, who went there, also knows guys who came from Deep Springs and I asked her to try to get in touch with them. Hopefully that works out.
I figure ok college is worthless, but if I can get it paid for then there is no reason that I shouldn't try to do that and take it.
Ok, enough of this. It's a Friday. Time to get totally wasted. Props to Incapacitation.
(Just in case the future me gets into a car accident (or a bike accident which I dreamed about last night) and become cenile, that was a joke and you haven't drank a drop since college began).
And I think I found a good way to describe determinism.
Everyone believes in cause and effect, but then something else (a deciding agent) in the mind that allows for more than one path. Well, since you didn't acquire this agent by volition, any subsequent usage of it will be determinent on the unvoluntary acquisition of it. And it's true that this is different from natural cause and effect because it will not be necessarily determinable (as in the effect can't be predicted, not that it isn't determined previously), but if you were to say choose the other path, you make the decision to follow that path because of your perceived notion of what will cause the most benefit for you (and yes, your perception is shaped by outside influences (influences being the infinite series of causes and effects experienced by others)).
Actually that wasn't clear at all to anyone besides me and probably Kelly, and I knew that as I wrote it, but whatever. It's what I was thinking as I was lying awake last night.
I had an economics quiz today that went to smithereens. I hate school. I hate that my end goal in life requires so much of unneccessity.
Something in my room smells like absolute feet. It's not even bootleg, because that would entail a fake leg, and thus a fake foot which wouldn't smell like a real and very pungent one.
Also, I think that referring to something as shit (i.e. my paper is shit) portrays an accurate emotion when certain people use it. Like I think Badchem, you use it well. Just thought I'd throw it out there.
Why do I feel like me and all my highschool friends are gonna drop out of college and start a nonprofit and save the world because no one else is as capable as us. I miss BLS.
I went to an "Engineers Without Borders" meeting last night. I liked it, but I don't know if that's the best way to employ my capabilities and beliefs. There was a guy there talking about how the environmental movement was falling apart because it wasn't embracing the benefits of market models (capitalism). Essentially he was saying that environmentalism would have to become capitlist in order to have any influence. I still don't know how I feel about it. I think it could work to an extent, but only for like independent farmers in rural communities who don't really have as great an effect on the environment as larger corporations dumping highly toxic waste.
Basically I don't know how I'll have the largest effect on people. My Philosophy...I don't know how to get people to understand it. Human Rights...I don't know if I'm putting my efforts into a black hole. Environmentalism...I see as the most beneficial and most urgent of the needs. But I see my philosophy as the most worthwile and as having the most potential to affect others to give a shit about the environment and human rights and all the good things that ensue.
I'm thinking of applying for transfer to Swarthmore. My TA, who went there, also knows guys who came from Deep Springs and I asked her to try to get in touch with them. Hopefully that works out.
I figure ok college is worthless, but if I can get it paid for then there is no reason that I shouldn't try to do that and take it.
Ok, enough of this. It's a Friday. Time to get totally wasted. Props to Incapacitation.
(Just in case the future me gets into a car accident (or a bike accident which I dreamed about last night) and become cenile, that was a joke and you haven't drank a drop since college began).