breaking points
Life is getting out of control.
Everything that happened a week and a half ago just seemed to be the start of extreme stress headed my way. When I was finally getting comfortable with the thought of going home, even though I still had no word if my internet was even working. I started feeling like I've over stayed my welcome with Teryn and Eddie, even though I know they don't feel that way. But I know they still need their space and room.
Like today, they got into a fight, Eddie took off. They always have their little arguments, its normal, but I guess I feel awkward being here when that happens. I dislike people fighting, and being around it. Probably doesn't seem that way since I can be an argumentative one myself, but yea, I just feel weird.
But on top of all of that, Kevin was laid off today. Work had been really slow and his hours had been getting cut a lot lately. So now its gonna be even worse at home. But I'm going to start working to get myself out of these environments. Trying to schedule some doctor appointments before insurance is up, hopefully tomorrows appointment with my surgeon will go ok. I know he hasn't been charging us even with having insurance, so it should be ok. Going to go on the implant birth control since it works for 3yrs.. probably be best, and I'm pretty sure insurance covers that.
Honestly can't wait til Real comes up here, can just get a break and be with someone that doesn't bring me down. Be happy, smile and laugh. Hug and hold him, just make everything else disappear. That would be so great.
I've been looking into a lot of things while here, decided once I get out and move, I'll go to culinary school. Seems like the best choice for me given I can't stand regular school, and I love cooking. I know planning ahead for me has always lead to disaster, but yea... I'm crossing my fingers things will be ok and work out in the end, finally.
Oh, going to talk to my doctor about the procedure that was suppose to be done months ago, and hope it helps finally heal me 100%. One less thing to worry and think about, one less thing to stop me from getting out of here.
Everything that happened a week and a half ago just seemed to be the start of extreme stress headed my way. When I was finally getting comfortable with the thought of going home, even though I still had no word if my internet was even working. I started feeling like I've over stayed my welcome with Teryn and Eddie, even though I know they don't feel that way. But I know they still need their space and room.
Like today, they got into a fight, Eddie took off. They always have their little arguments, its normal, but I guess I feel awkward being here when that happens. I dislike people fighting, and being around it. Probably doesn't seem that way since I can be an argumentative one myself, but yea, I just feel weird.
But on top of all of that, Kevin was laid off today. Work had been really slow and his hours had been getting cut a lot lately. So now its gonna be even worse at home. But I'm going to start working to get myself out of these environments. Trying to schedule some doctor appointments before insurance is up, hopefully tomorrows appointment with my surgeon will go ok. I know he hasn't been charging us even with having insurance, so it should be ok. Going to go on the implant birth control since it works for 3yrs.. probably be best, and I'm pretty sure insurance covers that.
Honestly can't wait til Real comes up here, can just get a break and be with someone that doesn't bring me down. Be happy, smile and laugh. Hug and hold him, just make everything else disappear. That would be so great.
I've been looking into a lot of things while here, decided once I get out and move, I'll go to culinary school. Seems like the best choice for me given I can't stand regular school, and I love cooking. I know planning ahead for me has always lead to disaster, but yea... I'm crossing my fingers things will be ok and work out in the end, finally.
Oh, going to talk to my doctor about the procedure that was suppose to be done months ago, and hope it helps finally heal me 100%. One less thing to worry and think about, one less thing to stop me from getting out of here.