bad joke of the day
So NCIS killed me. I'm pretty sure if you look around my room, you'll find pieces of my heart scattered around. And i got to watch it TWICE. Global (Canadian channel) aired it last night so while i was dog sitting, and yah, it was still that bad. How the hell am i supposed to wait almost 4 freakin' months to find out what happened?!?! Do the writers not think of this? And tonight? I have to see who dies on Grey's Anatomy and let's not forget the ending of Republic of Doyle when Des got shot and probably will die...oh, and Private Practice? One of the main doctor's baby? He died. Are we sensing a theme this year?
Dog sitting last night was good. There was a 5th dog there that they are watching for it's owners. Dexter is a very cute blond cocker spaniel whose face sort of reminded me of Gibbs. The only down side(s) were that I ended up watching a movie until after 11 last night and in order to be at work for 0615, i had to be up at 0430....and did i mention that the puppies like to bark at raccoons on the porch last night? So now i'm trying to stay awake for Grey's. I'll post a pic of Dexter tomorrow. Today is May 17 and here is today's joke:
Differences Between Men & Women
NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.
EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.
SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.
CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."
OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
see you tomorrow!
ps-Nancy ONE MONTH AND 12 DAYS!