bad joke of the day
So i had the 11 month old kiddo today as his brothers were both at school. And can i say that that little guy can seriously kick my ass. He's so cute but he's turbo-child when he gets going. He's at that point where he can almost walk by himself but has realized that crawling is still way faster than walking. Have i mentioned how cute he is? I am there fulltime this week. The mom doesn't go back to work until December 5 but is showing me the routines and she's basically running errands and stuff without children. She practically does a happy dance each time she hits the door. Today is November 21 and here is today's joke:
Bachelor's Diet
MONDAY:
BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a
Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth
LUNCH - Send
your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to
cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of
chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle
of maalox.
AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox
DINNER - Six pack of
beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the
coleslaw.
TUESDAY:
BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw
LUNCH - Go to the office
vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button
and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
DINNER
- Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.
WEDNESDAY:
BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El
Flasho's
LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke
DINNER - Drop in at a married
friends house and beg for scraps
THURSDAY:
BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza
LUNCH - Your secretary
is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.
DINNER - Go to a
bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for
olives.
FRIDAY:
BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds.
Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for
you.
LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder
DINNER - Steak,
well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.
SATURDAY:
BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.
LUNCH - Ditto
DINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.
SUNDAY:
BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.
LUNCH
- Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.
DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.
see you tomorrow!
Bachelor's Diet
MONDAY:
BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a
Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth
LUNCH - Send
your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to
cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of
chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle
of maalox.
AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox
DINNER - Six pack of
beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the
coleslaw.
TUESDAY:
BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw
LUNCH - Go to the office
vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button
and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
DINNER
- Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.
WEDNESDAY:
BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El
Flasho's
LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke
DINNER - Drop in at a married
friends house and beg for scraps
THURSDAY:
BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza
LUNCH - Your secretary
is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.
DINNER - Go to a
bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for
olives.
FRIDAY:
BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds.
Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for
you.
LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder
DINNER - Steak,
well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.
SATURDAY:
BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.
LUNCH - Ditto
DINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.
SUNDAY:
BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.
LUNCH
- Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.
DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.
see you tomorrow!