bad joke of the day and countdown

[mindyone1]

47 days! 4-7! FORTY-SEVEN! That would be 6 weeks and 5 days!  AND! 8 weeks today, we'll have already been in Newfoundland for 3 days and will  be at the festival in Twillingate :)

Gibbs is acting weird today.  Almost like he's not sure where he's supposed to be.  He's just out of whack.  And so is my internet.  I think that we're going to get a storm because my connectivity has seriously sucked ass all day. If it's still doing it tomorrow, i'm calling my provider. I'm not paying $50 a month for shitty service.

This weekend has been nuts.  We pulled out a bunch of cedar 'bushes' in the front garden and planted some new stuff (my mother owns a hosta that is going to take over the entire front lawn, i swear to god.  It grows inches everyday) and it's been hot and humid.  I've gotten a bit of a tan so it's all good.  When we were out yesterday we saw a martin, 2 raccoons (not smushed roadkill ones, either!) and a handful of deer but my mom is still pissy that she hasn't seen the resident moose.  She'll see moose in Newfoundland so i don't get why she's all bend out of shape about not seeing the one up the hill.  Today is May 29 and here is today's joke:

30 Ways to Have Fun at the Expense of Others

1. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
   
   
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
   
   
3. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
   
   
4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
   
   
5. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
   
   
6. Practice making fax and modem noises.
   
   
7. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
   
   
8. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
   
   
9. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
   
   
10. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
    
    
11. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
    
    
12. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
    
    
13. Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
    
    
14. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
    
    
15. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
    
    
16. Honk and wave to strangers.
    
    
17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
    
    
18. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE..
    
    
19. type only in lowercase.
    
    
20. dont use any punctuation either
    
    
21. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
    
    
22. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
    
    
23. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
    
    
24. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
    
    
25. Ask people what gender they are.
    
    
26. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
    
    
27. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
    
    
28. Sing along at the opera.
    
    see you tomorrow!