bad joke of the day
So Gibbs plus ice equals great hilarity for the 2-legged varity. Picture drunken Bambi on ice and you have a pretty good idea of what's going on around here right now. He's been outside a lot today because he enjoys the snow. We were throwing the ball for him and he would shove it along with his nose and then hit the ice and go sliding, into whatever was in the way...the garden wall, the porch roof, the door. It didn't matter. Earlier, he was in the back of the yard and he came running, full speed towards the door. Let's just say that it was a good thing that i had the door open because he hit the ice and went flying, right through the open door. I'm pretty sure that he would have scored a perfect 10 had he been being scored on merit and grace. Today is December 6 and here is today's joke:
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
There was a bottle of booze, left around by some louse
When through the North window, there came such a yell
That I sprang from my bed to see What the Hell
And what to my bloodshot eyes should I see?
But eight drunkedn reindeer, caught up in a tree.
And there in the branches, was a man with a sleigh.
I knew it was Santa, quite tiddly and gay.
Staggering nearer those eight reindeer he came
While he belched and hiccoughed and called them by name:
"On Whiskey! On Vodka! We ain't got all night!
You too, Gin and Brandy! Now all do it right!
Clamber up on the roof, and get off of this wall!
Get going you rummies! We've still got a long haul!"
So up on the roof went the reindeer and sleigh,
But a tree branch hit Santa, before he could sway.
And then to my ears like the roll of a barrel,
A hell of a noise that was no Christmas Carol.
So I pulled in my head and cocked a sharp ear,
Down the chimney he plunged, landing smack on his rear!
He was both plump and chubby, and tried to stand right,
But he didn't fool me, he was high as a kite.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work.
And missed half the stockings, the drunken old jerk
Then putting his thumb to the end of his nose,
He fluttered his finger, as he quoted a prose.
As he sprung for his sleigh, at so hasty a pace,
He tripped on a shingle, and fell flat on his face.
But I heard him call back, as he passed out of sight:
"Merry Christmas, you lushes! Now really get tight!"
see you tomorrow!
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
There was a bottle of booze, left around by some louse
When through the North window, there came such a yell
That I sprang from my bed to see What the Hell
And what to my bloodshot eyes should I see?
But eight drunkedn reindeer, caught up in a tree.
And there in the branches, was a man with a sleigh.
I knew it was Santa, quite tiddly and gay.
Staggering nearer those eight reindeer he came
While he belched and hiccoughed and called them by name:
"On Whiskey! On Vodka! We ain't got all night!
You too, Gin and Brandy! Now all do it right!
Clamber up on the roof, and get off of this wall!
Get going you rummies! We've still got a long haul!"
So up on the roof went the reindeer and sleigh,
But a tree branch hit Santa, before he could sway.
And then to my ears like the roll of a barrel,
A hell of a noise that was no Christmas Carol.
So I pulled in my head and cocked a sharp ear,
Down the chimney he plunged, landing smack on his rear!
He was both plump and chubby, and tried to stand right,
But he didn't fool me, he was high as a kite.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work.
And missed half the stockings, the drunken old jerk
Then putting his thumb to the end of his nose,
He fluttered his finger, as he quoted a prose.
As he sprung for his sleigh, at so hasty a pace,
He tripped on a shingle, and fell flat on his face.
But I heard him call back, as he passed out of sight:
"Merry Christmas, you lushes! Now really get tight!"
see you tomorrow!