Brian Meets the Mythbusters
Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. I just get to have fun with them!
I got bored one night during a Mythbusters marathon and voila! This story was born! Please comment! They make me happy!
Brian meets the Mythbusters
“What the hell are you watching?” Brain snarked as he dumped his briefcase and trench coat over the back of the sofa and onto his favorite blond, who was doing one of his favorite activities-watching mindless tv while eating huge quantities of ice cream.
“Mindless drivel. It’s a step up from your…what was it you called it? ‘pointless, mind-numbing useless shit that people think you want to see.’ Chunky Monkey?” Justin asked as he made a motion to hand him the ice cream.
“That ice cream is death and wrinkles in a bucket. Get your ass of the fucking couch and go do something! How long have you been there?”
“I think you have your words confused there, honey. I think my ass should be being fucked. Does that work for you?” Justin looked up, giving Brian his best “lamb waiting to jump on the wolf” thing.
“You think I would go near your ass right now, after it’s been plastered to that sofa for god knows how long? I don’t fucking think so. When did Cynthia take over Kinnetic?” he asked as he wandered to the bedroom to perform his favorite after-work ritual, other than Justin, or sex, or Gus. He striped and pulled out his rattiest, softest blue jeans and his favorite black wife beater.
“Are you just admitting that she’s taken over and had changed all the letter head?” Justin actually sat up and noticed, for the first time in hours that day had shifted into early night and that the loft’s time-set lighting system had kicked in.
“She mentioned something ‘about being able to keep things running things better with half a fucking ovary than a fashion-queen screaming at his personal fucking assistant for something that he fucked up the first fucking time” while throwing a coffee mug at my head. Then yeah, I’m willing to bet that that woman is changing all the locks on the building. She and Ted are pretty tight. He may be in on this…” Brian let his gaze fall back to Justin.
“She actually said ‘fuck’ four times while throwing something at you. What did you do?” Justin almost gave the little sigh that signaled he knew this would be a lengthy conversation and Brian would bitch and moan about it and then it would drop
“I own the fucking company that signs those fucking ingrates’ paychecks every week, that’s what I do.” Brian pulled the futon mattress over to his favorite spot on the floor, grabbed his laptop and settled in while Justin continued watching tv.
“And Ted? Ted is your most loyal subject among the peons of Liberty and the least likely to actually stage a coup, on you, in your own building. Fuck, Brian. Ted loves you, as much as you pretend to hate it and he practically worships the ground you walk on. In fact, it would be Ted who would fight Cynthia to the death with a stapler to protect your baby. And you know it, you fucking schmuck.”
Silence contended with the sounds of the people on tv talking, as well as what sounded like the occasional explosion, Brian alternately making notes on his PDA, a pad of paper and the keyboard. And Justin’s sighs got louder as the show went on.
“Look, Darling,” though it was only meant in place of the earlier ’honey’ used by Justin, “the bitch is off her meds or something. All I did was point out what I thought were she dropped the ball on this new campaign that we’re working on. That’s it! How is that wrong?”
“She isn’t on meds, which working for you, is impressive. Maybe you didn’t say it that way. I don’t know. You ‘own the fucking company that signs those fucking ingrates’ paychecks every week” Maybe it’s not what you said but it’s how you said it.”
Brian said nothing. Giorgio hissed at him from his perch at the end of the couch.
“It was a fucking nice mug too! She could have damaged me!”
“Damaged you? Isn’t that a little…crazy sounding? I mean, given the fact that we both know and love Cynthai, there is little that I find crazy sounding. How? By actually hitting you? Her arm is pretty good but are your soccer skills so badly deteriorated that you couldn’t dodge behind something or drop to the floor or something?”
“Deteriorated? I am Brian Kinney. I do not deteriorate as time passes. I merely age to perfection.” he said, though he thought that he sounded a little pissy.
Justin ignored him and rubbed Giorgio’s belly when the cat jumped up and sat like he was on guard beside Justin. Both Brian and Justin had noticed that Georgio paced whenever something was amuck in the loft.
“Did I mention that it was a really nice mug? Or that she only missed my head by 1/8 inch? What would you have done if she broke my nose?”
“Very impressive! And if she had broken your damn nose, I would have had to listen to you bitch and moan about that! And I will concede that it would be a more drugged up version, but it still be bitching.” he took a deep breath as he felt the frustrations of Brian’s day rubbing off on him, “ After the initial bitching, you would have pouted for 24 hours. After that, you would feel ‘strong’ enough to go to the diner for a ‘sympathy’ breakfast. Then the 3rd to 5th days would be spent back at work, probably with a cast on your nose or whatever the fuck they do when you break a part of your face. Then you would be bitching and moaning about your broken nose to the only fucking person who can put up with your shit.”
“Justin!”
“Because you thought it was fucking important to piss off Cynthia, whom I must remind you has been with you forever. Now, shut the fuck up and let me watch this episode. It’s the ‘revisit’ episode and they’re going to blow up a trombone.”
Brian was silent for a minute, contemplating the speech by his colorful partner.
“Revisit? Is that like a ‘do-over’?”
“Jamie and Adam and their band of cohorts take myths, sometimes sent in by fans, others they just do. Anyway, they take the myth and actually do it. They want to see if it’s plausible, busted or confirmed. It’s science but it’s a lot of fun.”
“And dare I ask how you found out about this show? And since when do we get the Discovery Channel?” a slight pause “Holy Good God! They let them use explosives?!?!”
Justin gave a grin.
“Wait. Do they use explosives every episode? Or they just a couple of pyromaniac nut cases who have a big budget?”
“It’s not always big explosions.. Sometimes they use guns, just black powder. There was one episode that used a lot of butter. And then there was the salami rocket.”
“Whoa…back up there, Sunshine. You need to explain that one.”
“Viewers wrote in about a myth that salami can be used as rocket fuel. And the proved it. It was very messy and very cool to watch.”
“And these are grown men?”
“I think every school should give a course about how you can do that for a living,“ Justin paused, “You don’t remember Gus talking about these guys? He loves them. And there is a lot worse stuff that he could watching on tv.”
“Wait. Did they do a ‘death ray’ one? I remember Gus talking about something to do with a death ray.”
“Yeah, the Aremetis Death Ray. They tried to do a full scale model for it and I can‘t remember if they succeeded.. They like explosives. I think it’s something to do with the huge climax at the end.
“Are they just trigger happy lunatics or is it just me?” Brian asked as he rested his back against Justin’s legs. And where did Gus learn about this show? Was if from you?”
Justin said nothing and snuggled deeper into the cushion on the sofa. This was a silent cue that caused Brian to raise and eyebrow and tickle the younger man beneath the knee.
“Justin?”
Justin muttered something.
“Where did Gus learn about this show?”
“Daphne and Emmett. They came over one day when Gus was here and you were at work. They were talking about the Mythbusters and Gus was hooked from the first episode that he saw. Now, shh! It’s on!”
45 Minutes later
“70 feet! They shot the slide of that trombone 70 feet! I love it! When are they on again?”
“Meow,” Giorgio said as he pressed tighter to Brian’s side.
“I can check for you.”
“Let’s go shopping.”
“What? Where did that come from?” Justin was a little confused.
“There’s a Discovery Channel store, right? We’ll go find it and see what they have.”
“Only you can tie science to shopping.”
Brian pulled Justin against him and gave him a soul-sucking, knee-melting kiss.
“I love you, you Goon.” Justin said a minute later.
“I know.”
“Remember, I’m a professional!”
“You are so weird.”
“Meow.”
“Okay, we’ll go shopping. I wonder if they have the frozen poultry through the airplane window episode on DVD yet.”
“A what?!?! Never mind. Just get me there, Sunshine.”
“Always will, always have.”
“Smart ass.”
“Yup.”
“Do you know if there is a Discovery Store in the Pitts?” Brian paused for a moment, as if releasing that this shopping trip may be fore naught.
Justin grinned.
“Do you remember a couple of weeks ago when I picked Gus up from school? Everyone else was busy or something? Daph and I took him to the store and spent hours there. He loved it and there were some things there that I know he wanted for Christmas.
Brian paused for a second.
“I love you, Justin. Now, let’s go shopping.”
Justin hopped up, grabbed his coat and the car keys.
“You’re so easy, Kinney.”
“I know.”
Both men smiled and from somewhere in the loft, the cat meowed.
I got bored one night during a Mythbusters marathon and voila! This story was born! Please comment! They make me happy!
Brian meets the Mythbusters
“What the hell are you watching?” Brain snarked as he dumped his briefcase and trench coat over the back of the sofa and onto his favorite blond, who was doing one of his favorite activities-watching mindless tv while eating huge quantities of ice cream.
“Mindless drivel. It’s a step up from your…what was it you called it? ‘pointless, mind-numbing useless shit that people think you want to see.’ Chunky Monkey?” Justin asked as he made a motion to hand him the ice cream.
“That ice cream is death and wrinkles in a bucket. Get your ass of the fucking couch and go do something! How long have you been there?”
“I think you have your words confused there, honey. I think my ass should be being fucked. Does that work for you?” Justin looked up, giving Brian his best “lamb waiting to jump on the wolf” thing.
“You think I would go near your ass right now, after it’s been plastered to that sofa for god knows how long? I don’t fucking think so. When did Cynthia take over Kinnetic?” he asked as he wandered to the bedroom to perform his favorite after-work ritual, other than Justin, or sex, or Gus. He striped and pulled out his rattiest, softest blue jeans and his favorite black wife beater.
“Are you just admitting that she’s taken over and had changed all the letter head?” Justin actually sat up and noticed, for the first time in hours that day had shifted into early night and that the loft’s time-set lighting system had kicked in.
“She mentioned something ‘about being able to keep things running things better with half a fucking ovary than a fashion-queen screaming at his personal fucking assistant for something that he fucked up the first fucking time” while throwing a coffee mug at my head. Then yeah, I’m willing to bet that that woman is changing all the locks on the building. She and Ted are pretty tight. He may be in on this…” Brian let his gaze fall back to Justin.
“She actually said ‘fuck’ four times while throwing something at you. What did you do?” Justin almost gave the little sigh that signaled he knew this would be a lengthy conversation and Brian would bitch and moan about it and then it would drop
“I own the fucking company that signs those fucking ingrates’ paychecks every week, that’s what I do.” Brian pulled the futon mattress over to his favorite spot on the floor, grabbed his laptop and settled in while Justin continued watching tv.
“And Ted? Ted is your most loyal subject among the peons of Liberty and the least likely to actually stage a coup, on you, in your own building. Fuck, Brian. Ted loves you, as much as you pretend to hate it and he practically worships the ground you walk on. In fact, it would be Ted who would fight Cynthia to the death with a stapler to protect your baby. And you know it, you fucking schmuck.”
Silence contended with the sounds of the people on tv talking, as well as what sounded like the occasional explosion, Brian alternately making notes on his PDA, a pad of paper and the keyboard. And Justin’s sighs got louder as the show went on.
“Look, Darling,” though it was only meant in place of the earlier ’honey’ used by Justin, “the bitch is off her meds or something. All I did was point out what I thought were she dropped the ball on this new campaign that we’re working on. That’s it! How is that wrong?”
“She isn’t on meds, which working for you, is impressive. Maybe you didn’t say it that way. I don’t know. You ‘own the fucking company that signs those fucking ingrates’ paychecks every week” Maybe it’s not what you said but it’s how you said it.”
Brian said nothing. Giorgio hissed at him from his perch at the end of the couch.
“It was a fucking nice mug too! She could have damaged me!”
“Damaged you? Isn’t that a little…crazy sounding? I mean, given the fact that we both know and love Cynthai, there is little that I find crazy sounding. How? By actually hitting you? Her arm is pretty good but are your soccer skills so badly deteriorated that you couldn’t dodge behind something or drop to the floor or something?”
“Deteriorated? I am Brian Kinney. I do not deteriorate as time passes. I merely age to perfection.” he said, though he thought that he sounded a little pissy.
Justin ignored him and rubbed Giorgio’s belly when the cat jumped up and sat like he was on guard beside Justin. Both Brian and Justin had noticed that Georgio paced whenever something was amuck in the loft.
“Did I mention that it was a really nice mug? Or that she only missed my head by 1/8 inch? What would you have done if she broke my nose?”
“Very impressive! And if she had broken your damn nose, I would have had to listen to you bitch and moan about that! And I will concede that it would be a more drugged up version, but it still be bitching.” he took a deep breath as he felt the frustrations of Brian’s day rubbing off on him, “ After the initial bitching, you would have pouted for 24 hours. After that, you would feel ‘strong’ enough to go to the diner for a ‘sympathy’ breakfast. Then the 3rd to 5th days would be spent back at work, probably with a cast on your nose or whatever the fuck they do when you break a part of your face. Then you would be bitching and moaning about your broken nose to the only fucking person who can put up with your shit.”
“Justin!”
“Because you thought it was fucking important to piss off Cynthia, whom I must remind you has been with you forever. Now, shut the fuck up and let me watch this episode. It’s the ‘revisit’ episode and they’re going to blow up a trombone.”
Brian was silent for a minute, contemplating the speech by his colorful partner.
“Revisit? Is that like a ‘do-over’?”
“Jamie and Adam and their band of cohorts take myths, sometimes sent in by fans, others they just do. Anyway, they take the myth and actually do it. They want to see if it’s plausible, busted or confirmed. It’s science but it’s a lot of fun.”
“And dare I ask how you found out about this show? And since when do we get the Discovery Channel?” a slight pause “Holy Good God! They let them use explosives?!?!”
Justin gave a grin.
“Wait. Do they use explosives every episode? Or they just a couple of pyromaniac nut cases who have a big budget?”
“It’s not always big explosions.. Sometimes they use guns, just black powder. There was one episode that used a lot of butter. And then there was the salami rocket.”
“Whoa…back up there, Sunshine. You need to explain that one.”
“Viewers wrote in about a myth that salami can be used as rocket fuel. And the proved it. It was very messy and very cool to watch.”
“And these are grown men?”
“I think every school should give a course about how you can do that for a living,“ Justin paused, “You don’t remember Gus talking about these guys? He loves them. And there is a lot worse stuff that he could watching on tv.”
“Wait. Did they do a ‘death ray’ one? I remember Gus talking about something to do with a death ray.”
“Yeah, the Aremetis Death Ray. They tried to do a full scale model for it and I can‘t remember if they succeeded.. They like explosives. I think it’s something to do with the huge climax at the end.
“Are they just trigger happy lunatics or is it just me?” Brian asked as he rested his back against Justin’s legs. And where did Gus learn about this show? Was if from you?”
Justin said nothing and snuggled deeper into the cushion on the sofa. This was a silent cue that caused Brian to raise and eyebrow and tickle the younger man beneath the knee.
“Justin?”
Justin muttered something.
“Where did Gus learn about this show?”
“Daphne and Emmett. They came over one day when Gus was here and you were at work. They were talking about the Mythbusters and Gus was hooked from the first episode that he saw. Now, shh! It’s on!”
45 Minutes later
“70 feet! They shot the slide of that trombone 70 feet! I love it! When are they on again?”
“Meow,” Giorgio said as he pressed tighter to Brian’s side.
“I can check for you.”
“Let’s go shopping.”
“What? Where did that come from?” Justin was a little confused.
“There’s a Discovery Channel store, right? We’ll go find it and see what they have.”
“Only you can tie science to shopping.”
Brian pulled Justin against him and gave him a soul-sucking, knee-melting kiss.
“I love you, you Goon.” Justin said a minute later.
“I know.”
“Remember, I’m a professional!”
“You are so weird.”
“Meow.”
“Okay, we’ll go shopping. I wonder if they have the frozen poultry through the airplane window episode on DVD yet.”
“A what?!?! Never mind. Just get me there, Sunshine.”
“Always will, always have.”
“Smart ass.”
“Yup.”
“Do you know if there is a Discovery Store in the Pitts?” Brian paused for a moment, as if releasing that this shopping trip may be fore naught.
Justin grinned.
“Do you remember a couple of weeks ago when I picked Gus up from school? Everyone else was busy or something? Daph and I took him to the store and spent hours there. He loved it and there were some things there that I know he wanted for Christmas.
Brian paused for a second.
“I love you, Justin. Now, let’s go shopping.”
Justin hopped up, grabbed his coat and the car keys.
“You’re so easy, Kinney.”
“I know.”
Both men smiled and from somewhere in the loft, the cat meowed.