i'm not gunna cry again till i'm 18 and hopefully by then u won't be making me cry
AH i really really dislike bonnie...like a lot. I just saw her for the 1st time this morning and i was like good morning how are u...and shes like i'm tired cuz ur music woke me up at 5...liek that bitch can't go back to sleep? SHes like and i'm sick again cuz i got no sleep...aka u made me sick cuz ur music woke me up.WE have no food inthe frige literally and i was like u didn't go shopping and shes like no i'm sick...well people in the real world get sick have 5 kids still have to take them around and egt them food. Shes been in her only lil world for so long she pretends to care bout me but she really doesn't. I do everything on my own i feel like i'm 25 renting out a room. I don't have mymom to care bout me cass use to care bout me i don't have him...i don't think anyone cares about me seriously excecpt doug and we all know how that goes...if u really care bout someone and they like want u to pretend to not care...what the hell do u do..i'm always confused. I use to be so sure about everything i had plans now i feel like a fucken failure in life and i can't even cry about it. The only person i really love and care about uses the shit out of me makes me feel like shit and yells at me when i get upset about it. Everyone tells me to just sotp caring but it's harder than that. Thats like leaving a lil puppy in the middle of the road wt a semi coming straight at it. But when u use all ur strength to run and get that puppy to save it all the puppy wants to do it piss all over u...so let it get run over ? maybe one day it'll see whats goin on.This made no sense and i shouldn't have written it but i haven't eaten since 2 yesterday i'm hungry and bonnies being mean to me she made me go through the frige and throw out al the food and i was liek i dont' know what u want me to keep and not keep tell me and shes like i don't eat any of it BULLSHIT like i eat low carb taco rolls? and low carb this and fat free that...she never asks me what i want...these are the days my heart is broken and i miss my mom and no one can help me...everyone thinks i'm crazy...i hate that. i've been so not me since i've been up here,,,it's like unless i'm on the phone wt doug cass ray or saxann i'm the 7th grade mindy all over again and i tried so hard no to be that person and u wanna say it's my fault i'm like that again but i can't even explain to anyone how thats not true how it's not my fault but i'm always fucken wrong i don't member the last time something went my way and made me happy. I do member cass and i's sleep pver at ruths and it wasn't even real it wasn't even fucken real cuz cass wasn't really happy.