(no subject)
Summer school is done. I refused to put Britany on the bus. I asked one of my staff to do it. She was screaming and crying. She held on to the lift so they couldn't put her on the bus. It just kills me.
Thursday night laying in bed talking to Tim, I started to cry. "It hasn't even been 24 hours yet, Min" he says to me. You'll see them in a month. I know, but that didn't stop the tears from coming. Even now, tears swell up in my eyes.
Yesterday I worked all day at bra-land and then went with Tim and his mom to pizza hut. Then we cleaned out his closet at his mom's since Mandi and the kids arrive later today. And off to see You, Me and DuPree. It was quite the laugh I needed. I should have thought about what I was doing to my body though. Intense humidity, pizza, and candy at the show is a recipe for a migraine every time. I remember Tim kissing me goodbye as he left 5:45 this morning to help Chad finish a house. The pain behind my right eye was beyond intense. I stumbled down the stairs to get my imitrex. 2 hours later another. I'm now left with another migraine hangover and I'm supposed to be cleaning the rest of the downstairs. I can barely move.
I found a gorgeous pair of earrings that I wanted to wear with my diamond necklace for the wedding. When I went to try them on together, the necklace was nowhere to be found. Unfortunately the first thought that surfaced..... "I bet stupid fucking Brian stole those, too. Fucking asshole." I wish I would have had the courage to press charges against him. It wouldn't have been that difficult to prove considering all the transactions were in Beloit and DeKalb. Coincidence? I don't think so. All together it was over $6,000. I'm so ashamed to think I allowed him to steal from me for so long and never even knew it. $100 here and $100 there... I was so careless and dissociated back then...
Sometimes if feels like ages ago. Others it feels like just yesterday.
I've realized that these next couple of weeks are going to be intense. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Many of my dear friends are going through some very difficult times. And when that happens, it can become difficult for me to focus on taking care of myself AND provide them with the support they need and I want to provide. It is an old pattern to lose myself in others troubles. Focus on them instead of myself. It was never their fault and I don't mean to seem like I am blaming either. Nor would I if this old pattern should repeat itself now. It is a skill that I still need to master. And the only way to do that is to practice.
How to guarantee me time in every day? And enough me time that I feel rested and replenished. I haven't yet decided. I better figure it out and quick.
Thursday night laying in bed talking to Tim, I started to cry. "It hasn't even been 24 hours yet, Min" he says to me. You'll see them in a month. I know, but that didn't stop the tears from coming. Even now, tears swell up in my eyes.
Yesterday I worked all day at bra-land and then went with Tim and his mom to pizza hut. Then we cleaned out his closet at his mom's since Mandi and the kids arrive later today. And off to see You, Me and DuPree. It was quite the laugh I needed. I should have thought about what I was doing to my body though. Intense humidity, pizza, and candy at the show is a recipe for a migraine every time. I remember Tim kissing me goodbye as he left 5:45 this morning to help Chad finish a house. The pain behind my right eye was beyond intense. I stumbled down the stairs to get my imitrex. 2 hours later another. I'm now left with another migraine hangover and I'm supposed to be cleaning the rest of the downstairs. I can barely move.
I found a gorgeous pair of earrings that I wanted to wear with my diamond necklace for the wedding. When I went to try them on together, the necklace was nowhere to be found. Unfortunately the first thought that surfaced..... "I bet stupid fucking Brian stole those, too. Fucking asshole." I wish I would have had the courage to press charges against him. It wouldn't have been that difficult to prove considering all the transactions were in Beloit and DeKalb. Coincidence? I don't think so. All together it was over $6,000. I'm so ashamed to think I allowed him to steal from me for so long and never even knew it. $100 here and $100 there... I was so careless and dissociated back then...
Sometimes if feels like ages ago. Others it feels like just yesterday.
I've realized that these next couple of weeks are going to be intense. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Many of my dear friends are going through some very difficult times. And when that happens, it can become difficult for me to focus on taking care of myself AND provide them with the support they need and I want to provide. It is an old pattern to lose myself in others troubles. Focus on them instead of myself. It was never their fault and I don't mean to seem like I am blaming either. Nor would I if this old pattern should repeat itself now. It is a skill that I still need to master. And the only way to do that is to practice.
How to guarantee me time in every day? And enough me time that I feel rested and replenished. I haven't yet decided. I better figure it out and quick.