Atlanta
Taken from an email fwd:
This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever lived in Atlanta, has >visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who lives in >Atlanta, knows anyone who has ever visited Atlanta or anyone who has ever >heard of Atlanta, Georgia. > >Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of >downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, >South Carolina. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include >the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except in Cobb County, all >directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken and..." Peachtree Street has >no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, >Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway, >Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave, Peachtree Commons, Peachtree >Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree, West Peachtree, >Peachtree-Dunwoody, Peachtree-Chamblee, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard. >Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone >for directions they will always send you down Peachtree. > >Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for >any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. And even then it's still >"Coke." A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, >regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?" > >Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away From >the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch. > >It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started >on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs >to that effect, so that out-of-towners don't feel lost...they're just on a >"scenic drive." > >The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5:00 PM rush hour is >from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and >lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday. > >"Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote >possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they are. > >A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue one way, so do not attempt >the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right >and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on" > >The fall of one raindrop makes everyone forget all traffic rules. If a >single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on >all the TV channels and radio stations as a news flash every 15 minutes for >a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled >water, toilet paper, and beer. If there is a remote chance of snow, and if >it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" >tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the >slightest possible chance of snow. > >The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy, which starts at >120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads, vehicles, >houses - everything - is yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have >any allergies, you will die. But other than that, it's a Great place to >live! > >There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia. There are 10,000 >types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one's never >seen before. > >"Onced" and "Twiced" are actual words. > >It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. > >There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There's only dinner - and, then, there >is supper. 'Jeetyet?' is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat yet?" > >You install security lights on your house and garage - and then leave both >unlocked. > >The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but need >6 pages for local gossip and sports. You know whether another Georgian is >from north Georgia, south Georgia or middle Georgia as soon as they open >their mouth (Albany = All benny). > >Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin wal-martin" or off >to "Wally World" > >Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're >2.
This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever lived in Atlanta, has >visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who lives in >Atlanta, knows anyone who has ever visited Atlanta or anyone who has ever >heard of Atlanta, Georgia. > >Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of >downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, >South Carolina. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include >the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except in Cobb County, all >directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken and..." Peachtree Street has >no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, >Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway, >Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave, Peachtree Commons, Peachtree >Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree, West Peachtree, >Peachtree-Dunwoody, Peachtree-Chamblee, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard. >Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone >for directions they will always send you down Peachtree. > >Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for >any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. And even then it's still >"Coke." A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, >regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?" > >Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away From >the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch. > >It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started >on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs >to that effect, so that out-of-towners don't feel lost...they're just on a >"scenic drive." > >The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5:00 PM rush hour is >from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and >lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday. > >"Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote >possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they are. > >A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue one way, so do not attempt >the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right >and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on" > >The fall of one raindrop makes everyone forget all traffic rules. If a >single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on >all the TV channels and radio stations as a news flash every 15 minutes for >a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled >water, toilet paper, and beer. If there is a remote chance of snow, and if >it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" >tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the >slightest possible chance of snow. > >The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy, which starts at >120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads, vehicles, >houses - everything - is yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have >any allergies, you will die. But other than that, it's a Great place to >live! > >There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia. There are 10,000 >types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one's never >seen before. > >"Onced" and "Twiced" are actual words. > >It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. > >There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There's only dinner - and, then, there >is supper. 'Jeetyet?' is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat yet?" > >You install security lights on your house and garage - and then leave both >unlocked. > >The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but need >6 pages for local gossip and sports. You know whether another Georgian is >from north Georgia, south Georgia or middle Georgia as soon as they open >their mouth (Albany = All benny). > >Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin wal-martin" or off >to "Wally World" > >Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're >2.