carmex: my downfall
Dear friends,
This is a statement to officially inform you that i have a problem. for years i have been teased and mocked for my 'carmex addiction' and i've always passed it off as a joke, saying things like "i don't use it THAT much. i could quit if i wanted, i just don't see the point."
well, it is most definitely an addiction. i've been using carmex since my senior year of high school but i've noticed that i've gotten much worse in the past few months, to the point where i immediately start to flip out if i don't have a carmex near me. here are some examples:
- i won't start watching a movie/tv/reading until i have one at hand.
- i can't go to sleep at night if i didn't just apply. i even hold it in my hand in case i wake up in the middle of the night.
- if i'm working on a deadline and i don't have one handy, i won't be able to keep going unless i locate one, even though it means wasting time.
- i can't walk into class without putting some on.
- every year, the number one gift i receive from friends is carmex.
- i used to make it through band practice but now i have to put some on in between songs.
- i have four carmexes in my backpack right now.
the reason i'm coming out with all of this is because i tried to quit yesterday. that's right, QUIT! i went out and bought 'other versions' of lip balm so that i could ween myself off the enemy that is carmex. i bought some stuff called natural ice because it sounded like it might tingle. the funny thing about this stuff is that there is no space between the words so it's naturalice. i don't know about you but to me it looks a lot more like natura lice than natural ice. ha. it's crap though so don't even bother trying it out.
i also bought vaseline lip therapy which just doesn't cut it either. it comes in the same container as carmex and feels like carmex but it still isn't carmex.
i went from 8:30 till 1:30 last night using the vaseline and lindsay can attest that i became ultra depressed. and then i became even more depressed when i realized that i was so whiny because i didn't have carmex! i am so lame!
today i was going good up until i got to work. i could feel my mouth aching and i kept thinking about it even though i had the vaseline handy. around 12:30 i couldn't take it anymore and broke down. and man, it tingles. once it hits your lips it feels so good. i'm still enjoying it. i guess i just can't get passed the 5 hour mark.
dictionary.com defines an addiction as the condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with something. yeah. so i got on-line to see what the deal with carmex was and i found this self-evaluation test, which i failed...or passed, depending on how you look at it. here it is.
Has the use of lip balm interfered with your job or schoolwork? yes
Do you ever wish that you had never taken that first application or hit of lip balm? EVERY DAY
Do you have an obsession to get lip balm when you don't have it? yes. if i'm running low, all i can think of is getting to wal-mart.
Do you experience an anticipation high just knowing you are about to use lip balm? yeah. wow, that's embarrassing.
Without using lip balm, do you have difficulty sleeping? like i said, i hold it in my hand just in case.
Do your lips, nose, or other areas hurt when you avoid Lip Balm? basically my entire mouth and jaw area start to ache.
Have you tried to quit or cut down on your lip balm use only to find that you couldn't? yes. today.
Have any of your friends or family suggested that you may have a problem? all the time. megan even made my jersey name JUNKIE
Have you ever lied to or misled those around you about how much or how often you use? yes. sometimes i try and sneak an application in when no one is looking.
When under pressure, do you always use more heavily than usual? yeah, man. i feel so sheepish now.
Are there certain occasions when you feel uncomfortable if lip balm is not available? pretty much anytime i'm not wearing it i feel uncomfortable.
Are you secretly irritated when friends or family discuss your lip balm use? of course. especially when people steal them and then convince me that they didn't.
Have you tried to control your lip balm use by switching brands or following different plans? again, today.
Do you wish people would mind their own business about your lip balm use--stop telling you what to do? yeah, i used to get defensive about it...until now that is.
Is lip balm affecting your reputation? i don't know, you tell me.
Can you apply lip balm with one hand? yes actually. i'm very good about getting the cap off, applying and then putting it back on without dropping it. right handed that is. although, i did do it successfully once with my left hand. go me?
in short, i suck at life. i have an addiction to lip balm. LIP BALM. that's not even a cool addiction to have. why couldn't it at least be a real drug and not wussy carmex. ugh, i realize that i am ridiculous and the insanity must end but i think maybe i'll quit when i have a couple of free days. i get pretty tense without it so maybe it's best to keep using it with all the finals and due dates coming up. maybe after the bowl game? wish me luck.
EMILY
p.s. chrissy -it was you and your MOM who turned me on to carmex. i had my first 'experience' at the very last regular season game of our senior year. it was an away game at edgewater. i think maybe i deserve some sort of compensation for the emotional roller coaster i've been on ever since. my lawyers will be contacting you presently.