(no subject)

[mindtoxins]

After a huge fight with my mom today, I found out quite a few things about her and I, and well, what she thinks I think, and her opinions on my decisions, just to find, we really don't have that hot of a relationship. She doesn't understand me at all, and I don't think I go through any effort to help her try. And it doesn't even bother me. It bothers me in that I'm worried shes going to try and stop me from doing certain things, but maybe I am kind of distant from my family. Hugo and Steph were worried about that, they said I never really fully seemed there, and was never really effected by anything you know, in the family. I suppose they're right. I'm moving in a year or two, and all I want is to start my own life with Ian. I don't suppose I'm a very good daughter, but I think I'd be a good mother, curiously enough. I hope my child doesn't end up so detached, I suppose to some weird degree it bothers me. I just, maybe I haven't been holding on hard enough to really feel myself letting go, I might have been for some time now.

I'm just very wrapped up in my own life, I guess. Does that make me selfish? I can't even think so, in fact, it just seems logical. Why wouldn't I be? It isn't to say I can't see myself with anyone, I very well can, actually. I think thats something pretty great about Ian, we were talking yesterday, and I asked if he wanted more space, and he said no, less. I'm glad I found someone I can see eye-to-eye with.

Also, I just bought my ticket to see these sexy bitches on saturday. Mmm.