Dum Da Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb
so im sitting here, and im watching dawsons creek.. season six..
shut up.
and im thinking to myself. my god, i want an Eddie.
hes perfect!!
and then he leaves her.
just up.. and leaves her.
thats what eddies do best, right?
leave?
i, more or less, had one. i had the most amazing time with this guy, and then i had a lot of crappy times too.
and now, whether it was something i did, or not.. he's gone. and i still wouldnt give any of that up for a damn thing.
which makes me even more sad.. because it takes losing something special.. and then watching somebody else enjoy that something special.. to drive you out of your mind.
i can go on and on about how things are unfair.. oh wow can i.
but really.. and as "after school" special as it sounds. i can only really learn from it. i took him for granted. and i know that. and yes. i really believe he took me for granted too.
everybody called him my Mr Big. And in a lot of ways that rang true. (although i highly doubt that me dating an older russian guy and moving to paris would strike a chord in him to come find me lol)
but everything aside.. i have probably just avoided a "Mr.Big" episode #2.
and who can i thank for that?
iiiiiiiiirony!!
so here's the question.
eddie.. is not really gone. ofcourse. he comes back, for split second. but he still comes back.
and.. he tells her he loves her.
okay.. so, if it were to come down to it, would I be able to walk away. Like she does.
I'd like to think I could.
But... I also say i could quit smoking anytime i want.
Talk about an addiction.