Home away from home
Looking through spring break photos for the umpteenth time, fishing from moments in my memory about the times we've had and chuckling to myself, I revisited a quick conversation I'd had with tze - it's funny how things work out sometimes. We were strolling happily in downtown San Francisco when she turned to me and asked, "Did you ever think for a moment that one day during your time in NTU you'd be walking around in SF?" and it dawned on me how much I'd taken this, amongst many other things, for granted. Just a few months ago, on a regular day in class I was surfing as usual while the lecturer droned on - only to be greeted with a pleasant shock that was sitting pretty in my inbox, announcing my acceptance into the GIP program - a mere sentence that had me almost springing backward dramatically in my swivel chair. As if things couldn't get any better, tze got in too & we somehow managed to rope dear Lids in. Everything was falling into place so perfectly I could scarcely believe my luck, or so I foolishly attributed it to. I hang my head in shame each time I think about the times I've turned the Lord in prayer in my times of need, but conveniently put Him at the back of my mind when these needs were met. I'd like to think I've grown and learnt to go to Him in thanksgiving. Each day I'm here I feel thankful for, and I cherish it and hold it dear to my heart, for it is a God-given blessing and not a right.
It's only been mere months but I have settled in so comfortably that I think I can nearly call this place home. Afterall, isn't home where the heart is? I don't deny a constant pang for my dear friends and family back home. But i thank God for giving me 2 dear friends to be here with me, making the distance seem so much smaller than it really is. Living together isn't quite the same as being friends and hanging out, it brings the friendship to a whole new level. It might take some adjustments as we learn to mould our lifestyles around one another and discover little nooks and crannies of each others lives', quirky habits and vices. Just take a peek into our fully-stocked fridge and it is pregnant with pride and proof of how diverse we are - if we really are what we eat. Each week we need to buy 3 different kinds of cereal, and 3 different kinds of milk, & the list goes on. We've grown to understand each others' likes and dislikes - like how when tze makes me a sandwich she knows precisely which fillings I like; & how each time there's a gap of time between classes, lide and i nod in silent acknowledgment as we accompany tze on her daily 'pilgrimage' to starbucks to refuel; like how when we go grocery shopping without lids, tze and i check the chips section to see if his favourite salt & pepper Kettle chips are on sale. With time, these things become unspoken, natural and comfortable. So much so that it becomes overlooked as part and parcel of our lives. Sometimes I think about how wonderful it'd be to go home when we do, back to familiarity and bak chor mee in all its sin and glory. Other times, I think about how painful it would be to leave. I would say I am someone who gets emotionally attached easily and it really isn't all that hard to fall head over heels for this beautifully charming city, much less in the company of 2 wonderful friends. In a sense, I am afraid to get too attached to this place, I deny it in my heart, but it has become a home away from home.
I will miss walking down The Ave, dotted with its beautifully unique mish-mash of little characteristic enclaves brimming with flavor, coffeehouses wafting aromatic scents of fresh brews onto the street and turning the corner at the sight of Starbucks to the breathtaking campus that awaits. I will miss walking out of lecture on a clear day and be greeted by the sight of Mt. Rainier and its pretty, snowy peak. I will miss waking up on Saturday mornings to the sight of 2 couch potatoes sprawled on the sofa watching a movie. I will miss weekend outings to random places and valiantly pushing past whatever obstacles may stand between us and good food. I will miss walking home together, sometimes engaged in endless chatter, other times, silently strolling side by side and returning home to our very own WIF (whatever's-in-fridge) soup, chopping garlic and preparing dinner together. I will miss trekking up the damn hill to Viet Wah and buying a load of crap because we never did correct our spending problem. I will miss Thursday steamboats. I will miss bubble-tea Fridays. I will miss playing 20 questions at Yunnie and buying little gifts of yogurt and such on the way home from school because, it feels good to make someone happy. I will miss stumbling upon my roomie in a mask, out of the blue & at the most random hour, and still get a shock. I will miss pulling on a lousy sweater and racing to Safeway in flipflops in the dead of the night to beat the cold, then pushing our little trolley around and dumping in our weekly groceries. I will miss our spontaneous karaoke sessions and chorusing Hillsongs tunes at the top of our lungs one minute, then going down memory lane and you-tubing chinese songs the next. I will miss spur-of-the-moment FRIENDS obsessing, triggered by the slightest reminder and watching episodes over and over, shouting out the next lines before they're said. I will miss writing Post-Its and pasting them on each others doors. I will miss camping overnight at cold airports furiously googling itineraries for our trips. I will miss having friends mere doors away, who readily offer a listening ear even in the wee hours of the night. I will miss going for kickboxing and pilates with you, tze. I will miss waiting for one another to finish shopping and offering opinions on each others' purchases, no holding back. I will miss meeting at entrances of shopping malls and taking long bus rides together. I will miss reminding each other about nitty gritty things like collecting the laundry and running downstairs to throw garbage together. I will miss poking fun at one another and acting all goofy - like playing throw and catch with balled up socks in the living room. I will miss holding the keys to our very own apartment and refusing to distinguish our front door keys from our house keys even though we always get them wrong. I will miss calling this place home.
I remember a time when Lids referred to us as a family by accident, something like 'no late dinners in our family' or something - can't for the life of me remember what it was. It somehow gave me a fuzzy feeling in my heart, because we're all bonded together under the same circumstances - being away from our own families - you guys are my home away from home, our little AC#23 family. <3 you both!