well we scheme and we scheme but we always blow it
Kyouya was walking back from school, minding his own business as much as possible, when he was approached by this sort of midgetized freshman girl.
"Kyouya! You're Kyouya, right?"
"... Yeah?" One of about ten people in the school with that name, but whatever.
"I need your help!" For whatever reason the kid was on the verge of tears. And Kyouya didn't really like seeing girls cry. Or people in general cry. But girls crying for more than five seconds reduced him to... well.
"What's up... um," cue mindreading, "Rinko, eh?"
"You know my name!" chirped the freshman, suddenly beaming. "I didn't think you would!"
"I'm good with names when the people who have them are cute," Kyouya promptly lied, with what hopefully passed for a winning smile (he had only gotten half an hour of sleep the night before). "So what's your problem?"
Rinko flushed. Kyouya noted offhand that her skirt was shorter than it was probably supposed to be and was not obvious about noticing this at all.
"I... I... that is... this guy asked me out... f-for Valentine's Day..."
Valentine's Day. Crap. Never mind whatever the girl was worried about. What the hell was he supposed to do about Valentine's Day?
"Congratulations. Knew you had it in you, Rinko." Unless she were a lesbian. In which case he was going to give her Hiromi's digits like it or not. Freshman were, what, fourteen, fifteen? Age of consent either way.
Rinko shook her head.
"That's not it! I don't know what to wear! I've never been o-on a date before... and I thought... you'd... be able to help..." Rinko's eyes were watering up again and she had almost the most pitiful expression on her face Kyouya had ever seen. "'Cause... you're in the Sewing Club--"
Kyouya abruptly went into a coughing spasm. Which Rinko mistook for some weird fear of being discovered, and she assured him in a whisper "It's okay!" which caused him to come out of the spasm. And shake his head repeatedly.
Because Kyouya wasn't in the Sewing Club. The last time he'd walked in there he'd ended up with a sewing machine getting thrown in the direction of his head.
Kyouya was in the Loiter Around All the Clubs and Cause Havoc Club.
"Well... you've got a boyfriend, don't you?"
This caught Kyouya off-guard considering he didn't even know the girl.
"Yeah, I do, but what does that have to do--"
"I saw you making out with him in the movie theater one time."
"You did? Really?" Kyouya didn't even remember what movie they'd gone to.
"Kyouya, um, if you're going to try not to be too obvious about making out with someone in public maybe you shouldn't sit in the front of the theater..."
"I'm always obvious. Now what's that have to do with me helping you pick out what to wear, eh?"
"W-well, don't gay guys know how to dress?"
"......"
There were several options Kyouya could've picked at this point. One of them was informing her that his basic idea of how to dress was T-shirts and jeans. And sweatshirts and jeans. And that was about the extent of it. Another option was admitting he tended to think the color green was really blue and that brown was actually... yellow, among other things. Still another option was telling poor old Rinko that sexuality and fashion sense didn't always go together and admitting he was bi, not gay, anyway.
"Damn straight I know how to dress~," he said instead (making sure to attempt to tilde in his voice so she wouldn't get suspicious), clasping a hand on her shoulder. "Don't you even worry about it, Rinko, I'll have you looking really fucking hot." Pause. "I mean. Not that you're not already," what with a skirt less than eight centimeters long, "but yeah."
This earned him a big smile.
"You're the best, Kyouya!"
They proceeded to the mall.
Where Kyouya picked out an extremely little black dress, covered with rhinestones, and assured Rinko that was just what a guy wanted. Then he picked out a red scarf to match it. Sort of. Black and red and sparkly rhinestones go together. It was a valentiney theme.
"Kyouya... that's orange."
"That is re-- oh, yeah, you're right, Rinko. How about this one instead?" And Kyouya found a pink feather boa covered with red hearts.
"I like that!"
Kyouya picked out red fishnet hose next.
"Cute!"
Shoes.
Kyouya picked out six-inch stilettos. For the first time that afternoon, Rinko looked confused.
"Are you sure about those...?"
"Very sure. Ridiculously sure. They're awesome."
According to Rinko they were also almost impossible to walk in.
"Fine, fine," Kyouya said, wandering around the shoe department, thinking. "Combat boots it is, then, all right?"
"Uh. With the dress and the feather boa... and fishnets?"
Kyouya nodded.
"It'll be... uh, fierce," he promised. "Your date will not be able to keep his eyes off of you, I swear."
Rinko, starry-eyed, gave her new shopping buddy a big hug. And 'cause Kyouya was such an absolute gentleman he helpfully carried her purchases for her to the bus stop where he waved her goodbye and wished her the utmost~ luck on her date.
... Part two coming afterwards. She'll either thank me or stone me.
... Looking back, those fishnets were probably a bad idea.
"Kyouya! You're Kyouya, right?"
"... Yeah?" One of about ten people in the school with that name, but whatever.
"I need your help!" For whatever reason the kid was on the verge of tears. And Kyouya didn't really like seeing girls cry. Or people in general cry. But girls crying for more than five seconds reduced him to... well.
"What's up... um," cue mindreading, "Rinko, eh?"
"You know my name!" chirped the freshman, suddenly beaming. "I didn't think you would!"
"I'm good with names when the people who have them are cute," Kyouya promptly lied, with what hopefully passed for a winning smile (he had only gotten half an hour of sleep the night before). "So what's your problem?"
Rinko flushed. Kyouya noted offhand that her skirt was shorter than it was probably supposed to be and was not obvious about noticing this at all.
"I... I... that is... this guy asked me out... f-for Valentine's Day..."
Valentine's Day. Crap. Never mind whatever the girl was worried about. What the hell was he supposed to do about Valentine's Day?
"Congratulations. Knew you had it in you, Rinko." Unless she were a lesbian. In which case he was going to give her Hiromi's digits like it or not. Freshman were, what, fourteen, fifteen? Age of consent either way.
Rinko shook her head.
"That's not it! I don't know what to wear! I've never been o-on a date before... and I thought... you'd... be able to help..." Rinko's eyes were watering up again and she had almost the most pitiful expression on her face Kyouya had ever seen. "'Cause... you're in the Sewing Club--"
Kyouya abruptly went into a coughing spasm. Which Rinko mistook for some weird fear of being discovered, and she assured him in a whisper "It's okay!" which caused him to come out of the spasm. And shake his head repeatedly.
Because Kyouya wasn't in the Sewing Club. The last time he'd walked in there he'd ended up with a sewing machine getting thrown in the direction of his head.
Kyouya was in the Loiter Around All the Clubs and Cause Havoc Club.
"Well... you've got a boyfriend, don't you?"
This caught Kyouya off-guard considering he didn't even know the girl.
"Yeah, I do, but what does that have to do--"
"I saw you making out with him in the movie theater one time."
"You did? Really?" Kyouya didn't even remember what movie they'd gone to.
"Kyouya, um, if you're going to try not to be too obvious about making out with someone in public maybe you shouldn't sit in the front of the theater..."
"I'm always obvious. Now what's that have to do with me helping you pick out what to wear, eh?"
"W-well, don't gay guys know how to dress?"
"......"
There were several options Kyouya could've picked at this point. One of them was informing her that his basic idea of how to dress was T-shirts and jeans. And sweatshirts and jeans. And that was about the extent of it. Another option was admitting he tended to think the color green was really blue and that brown was actually... yellow, among other things. Still another option was telling poor old Rinko that sexuality and fashion sense didn't always go together and admitting he was bi, not gay, anyway.
"Damn straight I know how to dress~," he said instead (making sure to attempt to tilde in his voice so she wouldn't get suspicious), clasping a hand on her shoulder. "Don't you even worry about it, Rinko, I'll have you looking really fucking hot." Pause. "I mean. Not that you're not already," what with a skirt less than eight centimeters long, "but yeah."
This earned him a big smile.
"You're the best, Kyouya!"
They proceeded to the mall.
Where Kyouya picked out an extremely little black dress, covered with rhinestones, and assured Rinko that was just what a guy wanted. Then he picked out a red scarf to match it. Sort of. Black and red and sparkly rhinestones go together. It was a valentiney theme.
"Kyouya... that's orange."
"That is re-- oh, yeah, you're right, Rinko. How about this one instead?" And Kyouya found a pink feather boa covered with red hearts.
"I like that!"
Kyouya picked out red fishnet hose next.
"Cute!"
Shoes.
Kyouya picked out six-inch stilettos. For the first time that afternoon, Rinko looked confused.
"Are you sure about those...?"
"Very sure. Ridiculously sure. They're awesome."
According to Rinko they were also almost impossible to walk in.
"Fine, fine," Kyouya said, wandering around the shoe department, thinking. "Combat boots it is, then, all right?"
"Uh. With the dress and the feather boa... and fishnets?"
Kyouya nodded.
"It'll be... uh, fierce," he promised. "Your date will not be able to keep his eyes off of you, I swear."
Rinko, starry-eyed, gave her new shopping buddy a big hug. And 'cause Kyouya was such an absolute gentleman he helpfully carried her purchases for her to the bus stop where he waved her goodbye and wished her the utmost~ luck on her date.
... Part two coming afterwards. She'll either thank me or stone me.
... Looking back, those fishnets were probably a bad idea.