romeo, yeah, you know i used to have a scene with him
God. After getting chased down by that bastard robot for the better part of last fucking week, I'm very~ glad to say I think I have it under control. Or something.
Much to the detriment of my headphones. They got caught in one of the many~ unfortunate struggles and now only the left earphone actually works. At least I'll only get half as deaf later on down the road. Maybe.
It's been a horrible~ little while, eh? And not just for me by any means. You know who you are.
But I've had some time to myself to think about things. Against my possible better judgment~
Since Rukia's stubborn and won't go out with Ichigo even though they've got the UST from the ninth~ level of hell going on, I prepared a list of OTHER single people she could date instead and how they compare.
SINGLES
1. Hiromi (comps-are-life)
PROS: A checkered past in which they dance, kiss, and do psychoactive drugs together. Hiromi is the least demanding girlfriend this side of a doormat.
CONS: There is only one lesbian in this relationship. And it's not Rukia.
2. Murata geikaface)
PROS: Has the experience of a thousand-odd reincarnations under his belt.
CONS: May be too flirtatious then again she dated ME and I'm always flirtatious so this may not be a problem~. And they've only talked like once.
3. Akatsuki (I'm too lazy to list your names but I assume you know who you are)
PROS: Apparently they're awesome ninja.
CONS: Mutated babies. Ugly mutated babies. They'd end up being part psychopath or part plant or part shark or-- God, it's fucking disgusting just to think about. Also, they trip my gaydar so much that it is not even funny. And my incestdar.
4. Sunako (eatchurbrains)
PROS: Is not creeped out by overt amounts of blood loss. Has a chainsaw that could be put to use for the war effort and crap. They could bond over baking skills and teach each other new recipes~
CONS: Double the straightness is half the satisfaction. [IC-ly deleted]
5. Shiraishi (poison-buchou)
PROS: Good-looking. Ten years down the road he may be a Wimbledon player, so that'd mean no arguments over the house budget.
CONS: "Doesn't do relationships." But we all say that at some point or another, eh~? And he has sex dreams about half the Brawl population. The hot half that includes Rukia, so no worries.
6. Bobby Drake (frostboy)
PROS: I can't be the only one who used to read the X-Men comics. He has awesome ice powers like Rukia.
CONS: Doesn't know more than five words of Japanese, so his phonesex vocabulary will be limited to "Konnichiwa," "moshi moshi," "neko," "desu," and the ever-popular "aishiterrrrrrrrrrru." The last of which is all he needs for a fine romance.
7. Mello (devilsball)
PROS: They were engaged~ once upon a time. They play Scrabble and other such sexual games together. He spells out words with the letters that make her mentally keysmash with love. And give him a triple-word score. >D
CONS: He seems to have moved on from his prior~ disappointing affair with her (on to darker and more incestuous things to lust over), and she claims she doesn't love him at all. But lost love returns like a flame from an oft-forgot... fire, and sets the woods of passion to a blazing lust.
8. Hatsuharu (blackxwhitesoul)
PROS: Might play into Rukia's potential fear of intimacy since he can't hug girls. Could be a continuing source of milk.
CONS: Cousincest is the best. If her fear of intimacy abated they'd have to do interesting~ positions to keep the relationship from being bestiality. Also, he wouldn't be able to find his way to any of the places they'd go on dates.
9. Watari (watarithegreat)
PROS: Is dead, like Rukia, and thus SAFE.
CONS: Rukia seems to like her boys alive and suicidal. Plus his ultimate goal in death is to invent a sex-change potion. So Rukia might wake up one day to a stranger~ in bed.
10. Zuko (pyro_zuko)
PROS: Is a Fire Lord or Fire Prince or Fire Duke or something. As his name implies, can try to set the night on fire.
CONS: Has a pregnant ex-girlfriend and is still sort of in love with his other ex-girlfriend. Can you say excess baggage~? And a boyfriend.
11. Vinnie (cool-vamp)
PROS: Isn't gay. Is undead, which some say is even better than being dead.
CONS: Has a Bronx accent, which some say is even more agitating than a Southern~ drawl. Not only is a vampire but has triplets. Triplets.
12. Komui (hatethecoffee)
PROS: Likes giant robots and generally being a nerd. Like Ichigo, except for the giant robots part. Hell, he might even like Shakespeare too for all I know.
CONS: Robot freak. Really, really, really big nerd. Is in love with his little sister. Which smacks of Utena, only maybe not as hot, I'm not sure.
13. Ruka (believemiracles)
PROS: Is not dead, but is dying, so if the relationship goes south he'll be in his grave before he realizes it's over! And with near-matching name-power, Rukia can help him overcome his attraction to lesbians.
CONS: Is a ladies' man to the end, even on his deathbed. Claims his lesbian love is unshakable, eternal, grand, etc. Is obviously confusing his lesbian love with his pain medications.
14. Oguna (oguna)
PROS: Creativity in action! Just check out his username, eh? Also, according to his icons, he has a sword. Not a butcher knife. A sword.
CONS: Seems very close-lipped. Bad for Frenching.
15. Shigure (iwritesmut)
PROS: He's a novelist! You can't possibly~ go wrong with an intellectual man of breeding.
CONS: When I say man of breeding I mean he's a son of a bitch.
16. Konata (lolikona
PROS: Cute uniform.
CONS: … She’s into fucking ero online games.
17. Hibari (biteyou2death)
PROS: Has the same given name as me so any unfortunate mix-ups could be avoided.
CONS: Seems very dry.
18. Ichigo (YOU KNOW HIS USERNAME RUKIA, IT'S ihu-all♥)
PROS: Unlike everyone~ else on this list, SHE ACTUALLY LIKES THIS GUY. I’m not sure if it’s his total inability to smile or his massive butcher knife, but there’s something in him.
CONS: SHE WON’T GO OUT WITH HIM.
Chances are, if you’re not on this list and are single, either a) you’re so wrong for Rukia it wasn’t worth the trouble or b) you’re so boring I’ve never even dug around in your head at all to know how wrong you are for Rukia.
I'm the best friend anyone ever had. ♥♥♥
Much to the detriment of my headphones. They got caught in one of the many~ unfortunate struggles and now only the left earphone actually works. At least I'll only get half as deaf later on down the road. Maybe.
It's been a horrible~ little while, eh? And not just for me by any means. You know who you are.
But I've had some time to myself to think about things. Against my possible better judgment~
Since Rukia's stubborn and won't go out with Ichigo even though they've got the UST from the ninth~ level of hell going on, I prepared a list of OTHER single people she could date instead and how they compare.
SINGLES
1. Hiromi (comps-are-life)
PROS: A checkered past in which they dance, kiss, and do psychoactive drugs together. Hiromi is the least demanding girlfriend this side of a doormat.
CONS: There is only one lesbian in this relationship. And it's not Rukia.
2. Murata geikaface)
PROS: Has the experience of a thousand-odd reincarnations under his belt.
CONS: May be too flirtatious then again she dated ME and I'm always flirtatious so this may not be a problem~. And they've only talked like once.
3. Akatsuki (I'm too lazy to list your names but I assume you know who you are)
PROS: Apparently they're awesome ninja.
CONS: Mutated babies. Ugly mutated babies. They'd end up being part psychopath or part plant or part shark or-- God, it's fucking disgusting just to think about. Also, they trip my gaydar so much that it is not even funny. And my incestdar.
4. Sunako (eatchurbrains)
PROS: Is not creeped out by overt amounts of blood loss. Has a chainsaw that could be put to use for the war effort and crap. They could bond over baking skills and teach each other new recipes~
CONS: Double the straightness is half the satisfaction. [IC-ly deleted]
5. Shiraishi (poison-buchou)
PROS: Good-looking. Ten years down the road he may be a Wimbledon player, so that'd mean no arguments over the house budget.
CONS: "Doesn't do relationships." But we all say that at some point or another, eh~? And he has sex dreams about half the Brawl population. The hot half that includes Rukia, so no worries.
6. Bobby Drake (frostboy)
PROS: I can't be the only one who used to read the X-Men comics. He has awesome ice powers like Rukia.
CONS: Doesn't know more than five words of Japanese, so his phonesex vocabulary will be limited to "Konnichiwa," "moshi moshi," "neko," "desu," and the ever-popular "aishiterrrrrrrrrrru." The last of which is all he needs for a fine romance.
7. Mello (devilsball)
PROS: They were engaged~ once upon a time. They play Scrabble and other such sexual games together. He spells out words with the letters that make her mentally keysmash with love. And give him a triple-word score. >D
CONS: He seems to have moved on from his prior~ disappointing affair with her (on to darker and more incestuous things to lust over), and she claims she doesn't love him at all. But lost love returns like a flame from an oft-forgot... fire, and sets the woods of passion to a blazing lust.
8. Hatsuharu (blackxwhitesoul)
PROS: Might play into Rukia's potential fear of intimacy since he can't hug girls. Could be a continuing source of milk.
CONS: Cousincest is the best. If her fear of intimacy abated they'd have to do interesting~ positions to keep the relationship from being bestiality. Also, he wouldn't be able to find his way to any of the places they'd go on dates.
9. Watari (watarithegreat)
PROS: Is dead, like Rukia, and thus SAFE.
CONS: Rukia seems to like her boys alive and suicidal. Plus his ultimate goal in death is to invent a sex-change potion. So Rukia might wake up one day to a stranger~ in bed.
10. Zuko (pyro_zuko)
PROS: Is a Fire Lord or Fire Prince or Fire Duke or something. As his name implies, can try to set the night on fire.
CONS: Has a pregnant ex-girlfriend and is still sort of in love with his other ex-girlfriend. Can you say excess baggage~? And a boyfriend.
11. Vinnie (cool-vamp)
PROS: Isn't gay. Is undead, which some say is even better than being dead.
CONS: Has a Bronx accent, which some say is even more agitating than a Southern~ drawl. Not only is a vampire but has triplets. Triplets.
12. Komui (hatethecoffee)
PROS: Likes giant robots and generally being a nerd. Like Ichigo, except for the giant robots part. Hell, he might even like Shakespeare too for all I know.
CONS: Robot freak. Really, really, really big nerd. Is in love with his little sister. Which smacks of Utena, only maybe not as hot, I'm not sure.
13. Ruka (believemiracles)
PROS: Is not dead, but is dying, so if the relationship goes south he'll be in his grave before he realizes it's over! And with near-matching name-power, Rukia can help him overcome his attraction to lesbians.
CONS: Is a ladies' man to the end, even on his deathbed. Claims his lesbian love is unshakable, eternal, grand, etc. Is obviously confusing his lesbian love with his pain medications.
14. Oguna (oguna)
PROS: Creativity in action! Just check out his username, eh? Also, according to his icons, he has a sword. Not a butcher knife. A sword.
CONS: Seems very close-lipped. Bad for Frenching.
15. Shigure (iwritesmut)
PROS: He's a novelist! You can't possibly~ go wrong with an intellectual man of breeding.
CONS: When I say man of breeding I mean he's a son of a bitch.
16. Konata (lolikona
PROS: Cute uniform.
CONS: … She’s into fucking ero online games.
17. Hibari (biteyou2death)
PROS: Has the same given name as me so any unfortunate mix-ups could be avoided.
CONS: Seems very dry.
18. Ichigo (YOU KNOW HIS USERNAME RUKIA, IT'S ihu-all♥)
PROS: Unlike everyone~ else on this list, SHE ACTUALLY LIKES THIS GUY. I’m not sure if it’s his total inability to smile or his massive butcher knife, but there’s something in him.
CONS: SHE WON’T GO OUT WITH HIM.
Chances are, if you’re not on this list and are single, either a) you’re so wrong for Rukia it wasn’t worth the trouble or b) you’re so boring I’ve never even dug around in your head at all to know how wrong you are for Rukia.
I'm the best friend anyone ever had. ♥♥♥