Damn
I bought a notebook to write in. But just haven't found time. I wanted to have documentation of my feelings for a future therapist, or myself to remind myself of things that make me happy (because they are so rare).
I try to look at situations from the outside. There have been parallel situations between myself and other people I know. It makes my decision making more rational.
Sometimes, I still feel content, even if not happy.
I'm under a lot of stress. Everyone is. I created that stress. Maybe that's why it is so hard to cope with.
I can't let things go. I still get enraged about things that happened what seems to be an eternity ago. Time is going by so fast.
I don't believe in the "Terrible twos". Abby needs to be more disciplined. And she needs a nap. But it's seriously driving me crazy. And I feel like I'm alone. Jonathan has her for 2 hours Monday and 5-6 hours Tuesday and is about ready to kill her. I have her every night and all day on the weekends and to keep my sanity I don't discipline her enough. I'd rather her be happy and chill out on her own for an hour than crying every 10 minutes.
I really want to laugh until I cry. I think it's been years since I have.
I'm really nice to people I don't know. I smile. Speak politely. I cry around people I know. I don't smile. I usually speak harshly.
I haven't lost myself, I'm shaping myself. I'm learning. Everyday I learn about the world around me and I learn about myself. I learned I'm not really a democrat. I learned that this government isn't what you learn in textbooks. I really hate Western Hemisphere history. It's boring.
I'm tired of being pushed aside. I'm going to learn to stand up for myself.
I try to look at situations from the outside. There have been parallel situations between myself and other people I know. It makes my decision making more rational.
Sometimes, I still feel content, even if not happy.
I'm under a lot of stress. Everyone is. I created that stress. Maybe that's why it is so hard to cope with.
I can't let things go. I still get enraged about things that happened what seems to be an eternity ago. Time is going by so fast.
I don't believe in the "Terrible twos". Abby needs to be more disciplined. And she needs a nap. But it's seriously driving me crazy. And I feel like I'm alone. Jonathan has her for 2 hours Monday and 5-6 hours Tuesday and is about ready to kill her. I have her every night and all day on the weekends and to keep my sanity I don't discipline her enough. I'd rather her be happy and chill out on her own for an hour than crying every 10 minutes.
I really want to laugh until I cry. I think it's been years since I have.
I'm really nice to people I don't know. I smile. Speak politely. I cry around people I know. I don't smile. I usually speak harshly.
I haven't lost myself, I'm shaping myself. I'm learning. Everyday I learn about the world around me and I learn about myself. I learned I'm not really a democrat. I learned that this government isn't what you learn in textbooks. I really hate Western Hemisphere history. It's boring.
I'm tired of being pushed aside. I'm going to learn to stand up for myself.