new year
last time i updated livejournal i was venting this is, again, another vent.
this was the worse new years ever. as long as i can remember, on new years i was surrounded by friends and loved ones. and yes, if i had one, my bf. this year my boyfriend decided not to be here for new year. i mean, i dont know why you wouldnt wanna spend the begining of a new year with someone you wanna spend the new year with... unless you dont really wanna spend the new year with them....
maybe im just being a girl. or a drama queen. but josh said he was going to stay home alone bc he was disappointed in himself. instead he went to a friends house and played video games.... and at midnight.... he didnt answer his phone. i didnt even get to tell him happy new year. he didnt call me til 4pm today....
we got in a fight. i asked him if he wanted to break up. he said no he doesnt. without hesitation. he is just changing.... and im not... maybe i am and he isnt.... or maybe we both are. i love him so much... i dont wanna think about being without him. that means its not me.... right?
anyway, i went to phillips house last night. me and justina were the only girls. and, of course, all the guys there flocked over her bc she is tiny and pretty. but there was one guy, adam. he talked to me. and we joked around. and at midnight he wanted to kiss me. and i wanted him to kiss me. but deep down i wanted him to be josh... nothing happened. and im ok nothing happened. it jsut made me wish josh acted like he wanted me more.
ok, i think i have vented enough... hopefully it will be ok.
this was the worse new years ever. as long as i can remember, on new years i was surrounded by friends and loved ones. and yes, if i had one, my bf. this year my boyfriend decided not to be here for new year. i mean, i dont know why you wouldnt wanna spend the begining of a new year with someone you wanna spend the new year with... unless you dont really wanna spend the new year with them....
maybe im just being a girl. or a drama queen. but josh said he was going to stay home alone bc he was disappointed in himself. instead he went to a friends house and played video games.... and at midnight.... he didnt answer his phone. i didnt even get to tell him happy new year. he didnt call me til 4pm today....
we got in a fight. i asked him if he wanted to break up. he said no he doesnt. without hesitation. he is just changing.... and im not... maybe i am and he isnt.... or maybe we both are. i love him so much... i dont wanna think about being without him. that means its not me.... right?
anyway, i went to phillips house last night. me and justina were the only girls. and, of course, all the guys there flocked over her bc she is tiny and pretty. but there was one guy, adam. he talked to me. and we joked around. and at midnight he wanted to kiss me. and i wanted him to kiss me. but deep down i wanted him to be josh... nothing happened. and im ok nothing happened. it jsut made me wish josh acted like he wanted me more.
ok, i think i have vented enough... hopefully it will be ok.