gay
I ate an ice cream today. yes a 100 calorie slim a bear mini sized klondike bar... it tasted so good. Ive resorted to not working out while at work b/c it seems like everyone calls 911 when I work out... so yeah... so my whole twice a day thing. excitement. Saturday I hang out with femheil! yeah... My friend roshell is leaving town and i cant go to her going away party. I cant do anything hopefully Im working on her going away party so I wont have to go, if i go I'll just feel awful b/c I think alot of her friends suck. and yes i know roshell has a lj. and she knows that i think shes awesome. she doesnt need me to tell her that. you see Im having a terrible social problem, like an unsocialized animal I just say things that I mean, particularly to the breed of people that will probably be at roshell's going away party, for example "my mother thinks your retarded" or "youre a white bitch"... alittle uncalled for I'd say, alittle inappropriate, I would not say that in uniform, or at work, but I have any god damned right to say that when Im just being myself, and people fucking hate me for that.While Im at it I might as well get it all out my frustrations at hutch. Ive tried to tell him how upset Iam with him and he dismisses me. I told him that moving bella's former owner into my house was a bad idea... he did it anyway. I dont hate her, I actually miss her and appreciate maryana very much so...Im so pissed at hutch b/c he dismisses my feelings. besides, he cant fix this. he just tells me to get over it. yeah well she hates me and i feel like he doesnt give a fuck. but then again, why would he? hes not the one that has to deal with feeling like shit and god damned social problems and guilt, he didnt lose a friend or become a bad guy, and Ive brought this to his attention multiple times and he dismisses me like Im a crazy ass. Maybe thats a good thing. worst case senario is that he makes me talk to her again and shes gonna want an apology, and i cant give her one, at least not the one she wants to hear. And i also lost captain morgan to this bullshit too... yes and i do think she is worth a shit. agh... god. i dont feel good. and hutch keeps calling me and asking me if im mad at him and why i dont go out. and when i tell him he just tells me to get the fuckoverit. im sorry im sorry i cant