i want to hate you so bad...but i can't stop this anymore than you can.
i just want to stop.
thinking, talking, feeling. i was numb before tonight, and in retrospect, i should have stayed that way.
why can't i just stop feeling this way? i thought that i was letting go, i really did. and i thought that he had, too. but i know there's still something there, even if he refuses to acknowledge it. there's no blaming his...whatever he was doing...on pure friendly flirting. it simply wasn't that. and not just because we had a relationship, and because i still feel as strongly as i did (perhaps moreso), but the vibe was in the air. i felt it; everyone else felt it. brittany and zach were just as fucking confused as i was. i won't even go into detail, because it hurts to think about it anymore...i need to stop. i need to finish the conversation(?) with jaron. i need to finish. i need closure.
but this isn't happening.
thinking, talking, feeling. i was numb before tonight, and in retrospect, i should have stayed that way.
why can't i just stop feeling this way? i thought that i was letting go, i really did. and i thought that he had, too. but i know there's still something there, even if he refuses to acknowledge it. there's no blaming his...whatever he was doing...on pure friendly flirting. it simply wasn't that. and not just because we had a relationship, and because i still feel as strongly as i did (perhaps moreso), but the vibe was in the air. i felt it; everyone else felt it. brittany and zach were just as fucking confused as i was. i won't even go into detail, because it hurts to think about it anymore...i need to stop. i need to finish the conversation(?) with jaron. i need to finish. i need closure.
but this isn't happening.