(no subject)
i have no idea what's been wrong with me the past day or so..
it's like i'm reverting back to how i was before i was on my medication. i don't like it at all--i feel like i'm being mean to jaron all the time, and i always feel guilty for no reason. i couldn't detect sarcasm at all today, so i felt like everyone was secretly making fun of me (which is the same stupid social anxiety/paranoia i used to feel constantly).
tonight was the worst, actually. apparently i kept saying how stupid i was (which is normal for me, but i guess i overdid it out of exhaustion, or lack of a full attention span--perhaps a combination of both), and it made jaron angry. or maybe he wasn't really angry. i couldn't tell.
what really sucked was that, due to my surface apathy, jaron kept thinking i was pissed off or depressed. neither of which were true, but i got insanely self-conscious when he mentioned them. NOT his fault in the least, mind you.
this could all be a possible effect from conflicting medications..the shit i'm taking for my strep, and zoloft. i don't know why they would interfere with eachother, but i'm going to look it up. if anyone knows how amoxycillin interacts with SSRIs, please inform me.
anyhow...i'm seriously hoping this will pass. i don't like feeling like i've let jaron down somehow...it's completely fucking with my self-confidence. i despise feeling like this; all these things are why i started taking anti-depressants in the first place.
blarhgalsdlajkfhgalsfjahlfa. ignore this....it will pass soon enough.
oh, and i'm going to the fucking GYNO tomorrow...that should prove to be, oh...humiliating, let's say? i think jaron will be coming with me, since my mom isn't. haha, i feel sorry for him, really...but it would make me feel 3502835725 times better for him to be there with me, for some strange reason. don't even question the inner workings of my mind...it's a mystery-wrapped in an enigma-wrapped in...bacon (fuck you).
speaking of, jaron---the appointment is at 2:30, my mom just informed me, so you don't have to get checked out (legally or otherwise).
shit, i guess i should go to sleep.
....yep. that's gonna happen right about..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
now. (that was unnecessary, but you'll just have to goddamn deal with it, won't you? :) )
it's like i'm reverting back to how i was before i was on my medication. i don't like it at all--i feel like i'm being mean to jaron all the time, and i always feel guilty for no reason. i couldn't detect sarcasm at all today, so i felt like everyone was secretly making fun of me (which is the same stupid social anxiety/paranoia i used to feel constantly).
tonight was the worst, actually. apparently i kept saying how stupid i was (which is normal for me, but i guess i overdid it out of exhaustion, or lack of a full attention span--perhaps a combination of both), and it made jaron angry. or maybe he wasn't really angry. i couldn't tell.
what really sucked was that, due to my surface apathy, jaron kept thinking i was pissed off or depressed. neither of which were true, but i got insanely self-conscious when he mentioned them. NOT his fault in the least, mind you.
this could all be a possible effect from conflicting medications..the shit i'm taking for my strep, and zoloft. i don't know why they would interfere with eachother, but i'm going to look it up. if anyone knows how amoxycillin interacts with SSRIs, please inform me.
anyhow...i'm seriously hoping this will pass. i don't like feeling like i've let jaron down somehow...it's completely fucking with my self-confidence. i despise feeling like this; all these things are why i started taking anti-depressants in the first place.
blarhgalsdlajkfhgalsfjahlfa. ignore this....it will pass soon enough.
oh, and i'm going to the fucking GYNO tomorrow...that should prove to be, oh...humiliating, let's say? i think jaron will be coming with me, since my mom isn't. haha, i feel sorry for him, really...but it would make me feel 3502835725 times better for him to be there with me, for some strange reason. don't even question the inner workings of my mind...it's a mystery-wrapped in an enigma-wrapped in...bacon (fuck you).
speaking of, jaron---the appointment is at 2:30, my mom just informed me, so you don't have to get checked out (legally or otherwise).
shit, i guess i should go to sleep.
....yep. that's gonna happen right about..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
now. (that was unnecessary, but you'll just have to goddamn deal with it, won't you? :) )