I hate caring.
Chad!: what is wrong with you tonight?
ME!!!! : sorry.
ME!!!! : im just really pissed at myself.
Chad!: aww
Chad!: why?
ME!!!! : im stressed..real bad..and all i keep thinking is...i need a cigarette
ME!!!! : i want one...no..i neeeeed one..but its my last one...but i need it, cause im stressed. itll make me happy.
ME!!!! : ..i realized how fucking dumb it was..to be so..dependant.
ME!!!! : on something so bad for you, like nicotine. pissing me off.
Chad!: hahaha
Chad!: I am soooo hooked to it
Chad!: I smoke and chew
ME!!!! : yeah. Im seriously thinking about quitting.
ME!!!! : or at least for a while.
ME!!!! : dont know if I actually will..cause it does help..but..its so dumb.
ME!!!! : and so am I..for getting hooked in the first place.
Chad!: lol
Chad!: my thoughts exactly
chad11t00: But i quit.. trying to quit
ME!!!! : Yeah,well..I feel like a fucking idiot for being a smoker. Because its pure bullshit to depend on nicotine to make me happy.
ME!!!! : Same with fucking drinking and weed.
Chad!: yeah man
Chad!: saaaame here
ME!!!! : Not the same, because you quit quitting, you dont care anymore.
ME!!!! : I hate caring..for one day..its my goal..one day...I hope to not care about anything at all, to be completely fucking carefree.
ME!!!! : ...and then Ill be happy..and then Ill get a job...and then Ill smoke..and then Ill get into a relationship.
Chad!: ahh
Chad!: I am carefree all the time!
ME!!!! : But..whatever..fuck it all.Im freezing..cause I went out for a smoke. I think Im going to go to bed.
ME!!!! : Not completely.
ME!!!! : Because you care about not getting fired, you care about not having to deal with your parents.
ME!!!! : And you care about friends.
Chad!: i only care about getting fired
Chad!: i love my job
Chad!: thats all
ME!!!! : So you care for no one? If someone were to die, you wouldnt care?
Chad!: Nope
Chad!: Who ever it is.. i'll see them someday.. i gotta to die sometime
ME!!!! : would you care if I never talked to you again.
Chad!: I'd kick you
ME!!!! : So...that means you do care.
The rest isnt valid to my point. Im going to quit smoking...until I become as carefree as possible.
Until Im happy...Im not a smoker...and when Im happy...I wont care about not being a smoker...so I wont start smoking again.
I doubt it will work like that...In fact..I bet it wont.
Even if I only last a few days....Its the thought that counts,right? Yes...No? Probably not...but...who the fuck cares what I do anymore. I sure as hell dont. So it works out fantastic..I think.
ME!!!! : sorry.
ME!!!! : im just really pissed at myself.
Chad!: aww
Chad!: why?
ME!!!! : im stressed..real bad..and all i keep thinking is...i need a cigarette
ME!!!! : i want one...no..i neeeeed one..but its my last one...but i need it, cause im stressed. itll make me happy.
ME!!!! : ..i realized how fucking dumb it was..to be so..dependant.
ME!!!! : on something so bad for you, like nicotine. pissing me off.
Chad!: hahaha
Chad!: I am soooo hooked to it
Chad!: I smoke and chew
ME!!!! : yeah. Im seriously thinking about quitting.
ME!!!! : or at least for a while.
ME!!!! : dont know if I actually will..cause it does help..but..its so dumb.
ME!!!! : and so am I..for getting hooked in the first place.
Chad!: lol
Chad!: my thoughts exactly
chad11t00: But i quit.. trying to quit
ME!!!! : Yeah,well..I feel like a fucking idiot for being a smoker. Because its pure bullshit to depend on nicotine to make me happy.
ME!!!! : Same with fucking drinking and weed.
Chad!: yeah man
Chad!: saaaame here
ME!!!! : Not the same, because you quit quitting, you dont care anymore.
ME!!!! : I hate caring..for one day..its my goal..one day...I hope to not care about anything at all, to be completely fucking carefree.
ME!!!! : ...and then Ill be happy..and then Ill get a job...and then Ill smoke..and then Ill get into a relationship.
Chad!: ahh
Chad!: I am carefree all the time!
ME!!!! : But..whatever..fuck it all.Im freezing..cause I went out for a smoke. I think Im going to go to bed.
ME!!!! : Not completely.
ME!!!! : Because you care about not getting fired, you care about not having to deal with your parents.
ME!!!! : And you care about friends.
Chad!: i only care about getting fired
Chad!: i love my job
Chad!: thats all
ME!!!! : So you care for no one? If someone were to die, you wouldnt care?
Chad!: Nope
Chad!: Who ever it is.. i'll see them someday.. i gotta to die sometime
ME!!!! : would you care if I never talked to you again.
Chad!: I'd kick you
ME!!!! : So...that means you do care.
The rest isnt valid to my point. Im going to quit smoking...until I become as carefree as possible.
Until Im happy...Im not a smoker...and when Im happy...I wont care about not being a smoker...so I wont start smoking again.
I doubt it will work like that...In fact..I bet it wont.
Even if I only last a few days....Its the thought that counts,right? Yes...No? Probably not...but...who the fuck cares what I do anymore. I sure as hell dont. So it works out fantastic..I think.