life changes and its scary. i dont want it to all change at once. :(
i've decided that i can't deal with having people around me that bring negative vibes. i've been doing it for 2 years now. and i finally get Canon to act like a normal relationship and allow me to go out and party without him calling and making me feel guilty. but now my main squeeze girl hurt my feelings. i mean i like her a lot and i would be really fucking depressed if anything happened to her. but sometimes she is just mean. i dont think she realizes it but she has a split personality and some days she is so nice and we have the best fucking time. other days she just has a "i'm better than you atittude" i think its bc shes on of those ppl that are born between days and is sometimes more scorpio and sometimes more libra. and i get along with scorpios best. and i really feel she has no reason to judge me and she is just insecure and feels like everything is a competition. she even admitted that she felt that way when we last hung out, though i dont think she was talking about me bc we were having an awesome time. plus we were actually around ppl and when we hang out we r usually alone or at the mall. i think she feels threatened my alternative kids and feels like she has to be more alternative than all the other ones. and if she sees that then y cant she just stop. i hope she doesnt take this the wrong way bc she is my friend. but i just refuse to let someone act superior to me. and i hope when she is having a scorpio day we can hang out. i really don't want to have to cut ties, its always sad when u lose a friend. just act friend-ly dammit! ahh... let me quit worrying about it. i'll meet so many more ppl when i start school not including the new chapel hill gang i finally started hanging out with. i think i was just sad bc new friends mean u lose touch with the old ones.