(no subject)
so what else is new i'm scared about things y'know i feel really stupid that someone might actually read this and see just how often i write that i'm scared geez...i felt so bad and hurt and mad and shitty why'd she have to wait on the stairs why didn't she tell her more assertively or something damnit..and y'know i don't want much i just want to be held maybe even a lot but i'd settle to just be and kissed for no reason and often and more of those random love things it can be so uplifting even if fleeting sometimes i try to really think if i'm happy with how it is or it i'd rather just not have it at all it depends on what mood i'm in i wanna know that i'm not making a fool of myself and going through all this for nothing that there's meaning and feeling and worth involved i don't know how i'm gonna end up not like i once did when it was all easier like how would it be if we were people but stoic like personality existed but not feeling no that can't work that's not living you have to take the good with the bad right so that it's all worth it damn i miss you so much right now