(no subject)
So I have tried the test two times and have not got anywhere but a little closer to getting it. I am stuck in this funk. I am so close yet so far. I am anxious and not so anxious. I sometimes feel the pressure breathing down my neck. But it is to the point that I am getting pissed. I feel like so much is riding on this and I am sick of stupid fucking mistakes screwing it up. On the other hand I have a wonderful supportive girlfriend who lets me know it is ok but doesn't hold back anything either. It is a beautiful mix of do it get it done and dont let this shit bother you or it will bother me so much I will fail. So with that being said I am feeling pissed. I feel like a man on a mission of sorts. I am sick of my mother who makes things out worse than they are and then somehow has learned to twist things like a 16 year old girl would and I still get yelled at when she is being crazy. It is sad and I feel bad for her but at the same time I am sick of the bullshit and her attitude and her hate for me that I want out. Some people have said that my parents just want to see me succeed but in reality my father so dearly wants me to but my mom justs wants me out of the house and doesn't care where. She has said many times that I am a fuck up and she hates me. So yeah that should make for a great life afterwards...
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End rant////