Life and stuff
Ok so I have been on the fritz as of late. I don't know what is wrong. I guess I am dealing with alot of changes. Plus what I talked to my wonderful g/f about yesterday. I guess making like 60k a year and finally being able to move anywhere I need too is really making me less attentable to everything around me. Wondering whats next? What will life be like then? I have always worked hard for minimal wages. Well except for the RCN job where I didn't work all that hard and I got real fucking fat. So other than that I am used to working my ass off. Oh and the MCd's job but I atleast dropped like 20 pounds there. I was still a lard ass but you know I worked at a fast food joint,heh. Not that I won't with this job because I will be. I guess what I am bacially saying is I am finally doing something in my life and I am nervous. Like something is going to go wrong at some point. Nothing has never been alright in my life. Whenever I get happy something terrible happens and snaps me back into reality and so far that has not happened. I am leary with anticipation as to when it is going to happen. I don't know what is wrong. Like maybe I enjoy the pain of it and I am expecting it since I let it happen all the time in the past. Except this time I am happy and do not want to lose anything and I want to keep it all and make some changes in other areas. Areas that have been a chip on my shoulder that I need to get rid of.