I feel so.......
Today is so depressing. I don't feel like doing anything at all today. Blah. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Okay, no it's not that bad... But I do want to just sleep the day away. I have so much on my mind, I can't function. I lack the motivation to work and get stuff I need done. I just want to get outta school and go to Jeff's. But no I gotta go to Jeffersonville, too. Wonderful. I wish graduation would come faster. But then again with as much as I've been slacking off, I probably won't gaduate.
-No Fuck that, I am graduating. I have not suffered through school this long to not be able to do it. I just want to be able to deal with today. I have solo ensemble this weekend and I'm sick. How grand. I need to start doing my work for classes or I'm going to end up being a huge failure.
I just want to move out of my house. I really want to be with Jeff, especially today. I don't know what's going on in my head, but it sucks. I'm just non happy. I hate foster care and the dumb rules that make me miserable. I don't know why I'm bitchin so much. I just have so much shit running through my head all at once and it's making me angry and making me think about everything I want to do but I can't. This makes no sense.
Anyway, I got to spend time with Jeff yesterday. That went pretty good. He took me to work. I hate Mickey D's. But it's a job I guess...
After we come back from Jeffersonville, I think I'm gonna go to Jeff's again. I like getting away from the house. It makes me feel better.
We got homecoming pictures taken today. I'm definetly not going to win. There's no fuckin way. I wish I could. But oh well. It's not that big a deal to me.
I hate people and how they can be so phoney. They like things cuz everyone likes them and they pretend to care. But really at the end of the day they could care less whether or not you live, die, get hit by a car or anything. I wish I could find more selfless people that really like me for me and not because they want something or they want to mock me. But hope is gone. Let's all fade into the background of the herd this world is lead by.
*Wow I think I'll make that into a song somehow.
I guess this is it. Sorry it's not that exciting or interesting.
-No Fuck that, I am graduating. I have not suffered through school this long to not be able to do it. I just want to be able to deal with today. I have solo ensemble this weekend and I'm sick. How grand. I need to start doing my work for classes or I'm going to end up being a huge failure.
I just want to move out of my house. I really want to be with Jeff, especially today. I don't know what's going on in my head, but it sucks. I'm just non happy. I hate foster care and the dumb rules that make me miserable. I don't know why I'm bitchin so much. I just have so much shit running through my head all at once and it's making me angry and making me think about everything I want to do but I can't. This makes no sense.
Anyway, I got to spend time with Jeff yesterday. That went pretty good. He took me to work. I hate Mickey D's. But it's a job I guess...
After we come back from Jeffersonville, I think I'm gonna go to Jeff's again. I like getting away from the house. It makes me feel better.
We got homecoming pictures taken today. I'm definetly not going to win. There's no fuckin way. I wish I could. But oh well. It's not that big a deal to me.
I hate people and how they can be so phoney. They like things cuz everyone likes them and they pretend to care. But really at the end of the day they could care less whether or not you live, die, get hit by a car or anything. I wish I could find more selfless people that really like me for me and not because they want something or they want to mock me. But hope is gone. Let's all fade into the background of the herd this world is lead by.
*Wow I think I'll make that into a song somehow.
I guess this is it. Sorry it's not that exciting or interesting.