I've been mentally and socially violated
I will never tell them this, but my heart wants to explode. Everything I have ever stood for, every ounce of strength I pulled from no where, every bit of hope, everything I gave up, My morals, My values.... They are stabbing at them, ruining them, making me out to be... someone I could never even imagine being... They are trying to make me be him.
And its he who is doing it, he tells them I did... everything he did... he lies and makes me this awful person who steals and lies and in his effort to do better he left me. How twisted, he stole and lied and in my effort to do better... I LEFT HIM.
I dont care about whats being said, I care about the fact that his friends tell me I need to leave him alone, get over him, pay him back, move on... and its frustrating that NONE of that applies to me.
I dont respond to thier stabs, I refuse to defend myself in thier world based on lies. My friends know who I am, my family knows who I am....
Its just hard to have people mutilate your core.
I cry, only because I am better than that.
I cry, because he tore me to peices and left me on the floor with nothing but my skin, I spent months rebuilding my strength and my life.
How much more is one expected to take.
I will never admit to anyone this is getting to me.
I will never admit to them that they are succeeding in tearing me apart.
Everyone keeps telling me things I already know.
I will be fine. I know I will, but no matter what advice you give, I gave myself already, and it still doesn't stop the hurt.
All I want is some fucking credit for everything I went through.
For it was the hardest GODDAMN thing I have done in my ENTIRE life.
Forgive me for being cynicle for once.
But the brighter side doesn't stop the bruise the lies have put on my ego.
And fuck me for not looking at the brighter side... its a first and I deserve it.
And its he who is doing it, he tells them I did... everything he did... he lies and makes me this awful person who steals and lies and in his effort to do better he left me. How twisted, he stole and lied and in my effort to do better... I LEFT HIM.
I dont care about whats being said, I care about the fact that his friends tell me I need to leave him alone, get over him, pay him back, move on... and its frustrating that NONE of that applies to me.
I dont respond to thier stabs, I refuse to defend myself in thier world based on lies. My friends know who I am, my family knows who I am....
Its just hard to have people mutilate your core.
I cry, only because I am better than that.
I cry, because he tore me to peices and left me on the floor with nothing but my skin, I spent months rebuilding my strength and my life.
How much more is one expected to take.
I will never admit to anyone this is getting to me.
I will never admit to them that they are succeeding in tearing me apart.
Everyone keeps telling me things I already know.
I will be fine. I know I will, but no matter what advice you give, I gave myself already, and it still doesn't stop the hurt.
All I want is some fucking credit for everything I went through.
For it was the hardest GODDAMN thing I have done in my ENTIRE life.
Forgive me for being cynicle for once.
But the brighter side doesn't stop the bruise the lies have put on my ego.
And fuck me for not looking at the brighter side... its a first and I deserve it.