FIC: In Still, Quiet Moments
Title: In Still, Quiet Moments
Author:
mindabbles
Rating/Warnings: G, DH Spoilers
Characters: Harry, Teddy, Andromeda (briefly)
Brief Summary: Harry had never expected to feel all these things when he held him during moments that were quiet and still.
Harry smoothed his hand gently over the soft tuft of hair. The surprisingly tight squeeze of the tiny hand on his finger made his chest ache. He had never expected to feel this way. He had expected to feel afraid, honored, fond…he had not foreseen the almost painful waves of protectiveness, love, and nostalgia that threatened to bowl him over every time he held his tiny godson.
He knew that the intensity of the feeling came in part because he was still so raw from recent events and losses. He shook his head to prevent himself from ticking off the list of names again. That never helped.
He had realized recently that part of the mourning was also that he felt, in a way, that he was only seventeen and the culmination of his life had already occurred. Sometimes he wished he could have just gone off with his parents, Sirius, and Remus - the family that should have been his all along.
Not that he wished he were dead - not when there was so much left that was good. He let his mind wander to the loved ones that were here and well and whole and would go on to have lives because of what they had all accomplished. He thought of this often, to stop himself from sliding into despair and self-pity, for he had learned from both experience and example how slippery that destructive slope could be.
His eyes rested again on the pink face, cheek squashed against his arm as Teddy nestled in the crook of his elbow.
Harry wondered if he would be up to the task of being a mentor, a friend, and link to Teddy's parents, the way Remus had been to him.
He had woken up in the night several times, almost panicked, and jumped up to write down things he remembered about Tonks and Remus so that he would be able to tell Teddy everything he knew.
So alike, you and I, he thought: orphaned by the war, starting life when the world is celebrating, but those who love you most are grieving or gone.
He heard a burst of laughter and animated talk from the next room and thought, so different too.
He started to whisper to Teddy, "I will always be here for you."
An image of Sirius whispering that to a baby seventeen years ago, and meaning it as intensely as Harry did now, flashed across his mind. He quickly decided not to start out Teddy's life making promises he couldn't keep.
He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the little forehead, damp with sweat from sleep, and whispered the promise that Sirius had managed to keep.
"I will always love you."
The door creaked open and Andromeda said quietly, "Everything all right Harry?"
He turned to look at Andromeda and they both smiled as Teddy huffed in his sleep. This baby made them family.
If he answered truthfully, he would say, not quite yet, but I am starting to see that it will be.
"He's fine," Harry answered. He carefully laid Teddy back in his cradle. "He'll be just fine."