The Wanting Comes In Waves
I find myself growing more disinterest toward that things that made up my life in the past, at a rate that leaves me with a clean palette but also a lot disappointment. I might just be expecting too much of things that should be put past. I really want to see magic in them again though...so this all becomes rather frustrating.
If I do return to it again, I don't think I'll be able to hold the position of party thrower, the unease and worry that presented me with just made the night an entire mess. The tenants were unable to sleep because of intoxicated others being far too loud but also far too out of it to understand the concept of noise level. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad everyone else had a good time.
To me though, it was a total loss of a night because I spent the entire time looking after everyone else, never looking into myself, or creating any art for that matter.
Where'd the magic go?
I'm still in a bit of a funk from all of this.