life in it's entirety
i've been dreaming of Casey's wedding shower. I'm in charge of planning it. Sent invitations out. She's decided she does want a bachelorette thingy.
So...i'm working 7:00-12:15ish. Right after work, i'm headed supposedly to pick up my dress from the alteration place. Head home and hopefully spend a bit of time with Michael. Leave Palatka at 2pm to head to OP Carrabba's. That's where she wanted her wedding shower at. So from 3pm-? will be the shower. Then after that, not really sure if it will be directly or what, depends on her and her friends, is the hanging out drinking bachelorette thingy.
I'm secretly crossing my fingers and hoping she doesn't want to stay out late.
My sister isn't one for going out and staying out all night. She's a light weight, so she can't drink that much anway. I hope she has fun. I hope she likes her shower. I hope I do and have done everything right. I hope she's happy.
After this weekend, I need to start thinking of a speech/toast for the wedding.
Couple nights ago I dreamt I was at some kind of college and everyone was turning into zombies. It was like half good half bad. I was with a group that was trying to get away from them. We were like scaling the side of a brick wall building. Anyway...that was the night that dumbass got his "property" and left his keys. But we're back again. Rocky road. Not sure what's to come of it, and i'm not sure I have enough energy to care.
Went to the doc yesterday, regular one. Decided to go back through my old charts and put me on something that's more for bi-polar depression. Pill called Seroquel. Looked it up online and reviews about it. Start taking it tonight. Supposed to make me sleep really good, bad news is one of the major side effects is weight gain. So...we'll see how it goes. Reading the reviews though, seems like the pill worked really well in women in my age group. So, here it goes.
Kind of nervous about trying something new. Kind of tired of taking anything at all. Kind of tired of this feeling that I have to hold on till after Casey's wedding and then I can do whatever crazy thing I want to do. Just, tired.
I've been going to bed around 8:00-8:30 most every night with the exception of the past few. 3 nights ago was the asshole night. Thursday night I had went shoe shopping with my mom. Oh joy. She needs to seriously get on some kind of mood stabilizer. It's like a tape that's playing and never stops. Wrong thing said and she gets instantly depressed and tearful. Kind of reminds me of the emotional level of a child. Told my dad I would try to take up some of the slack off him and help him with her. Seeing as how granny passed away and that was her best friend, and the only person I know of that could stand being around her. Last night, Michael and I went out to eat. Told him to make a list of things and I would too, and we'd discuss. Well, lets just say it started out well.
Didn't feel to well, headache, nauseous, and so freaking tired. Went to bed, left door unlocked and told him to come over if he wanted.
It is so nice to sleep next to him or anyone for that matter. A warm body curled up next to is the most peaceful thing I can think of besides holding a baby sleeping up against your chest.
So..that's what has been going on. I'm lonely. I'm tired. I'm a bit stressed feeling.
It's sunny out and I wish I could just be outside in the loveliness of the day. Maybe out on a boat somewhere or something with a small group of friends.
But, those days are long gone.
Have to get into happy smiley mode. Work, Casey's evening.
:)
So...i'm working 7:00-12:15ish. Right after work, i'm headed supposedly to pick up my dress from the alteration place. Head home and hopefully spend a bit of time with Michael. Leave Palatka at 2pm to head to OP Carrabba's. That's where she wanted her wedding shower at. So from 3pm-? will be the shower. Then after that, not really sure if it will be directly or what, depends on her and her friends, is the hanging out drinking bachelorette thingy.
I'm secretly crossing my fingers and hoping she doesn't want to stay out late.
My sister isn't one for going out and staying out all night. She's a light weight, so she can't drink that much anway. I hope she has fun. I hope she likes her shower. I hope I do and have done everything right. I hope she's happy.
After this weekend, I need to start thinking of a speech/toast for the wedding.
Couple nights ago I dreamt I was at some kind of college and everyone was turning into zombies. It was like half good half bad. I was with a group that was trying to get away from them. We were like scaling the side of a brick wall building. Anyway...that was the night that dumbass got his "property" and left his keys. But we're back again. Rocky road. Not sure what's to come of it, and i'm not sure I have enough energy to care.
Went to the doc yesterday, regular one. Decided to go back through my old charts and put me on something that's more for bi-polar depression. Pill called Seroquel. Looked it up online and reviews about it. Start taking it tonight. Supposed to make me sleep really good, bad news is one of the major side effects is weight gain. So...we'll see how it goes. Reading the reviews though, seems like the pill worked really well in women in my age group. So, here it goes.
Kind of nervous about trying something new. Kind of tired of taking anything at all. Kind of tired of this feeling that I have to hold on till after Casey's wedding and then I can do whatever crazy thing I want to do. Just, tired.
I've been going to bed around 8:00-8:30 most every night with the exception of the past few. 3 nights ago was the asshole night. Thursday night I had went shoe shopping with my mom. Oh joy. She needs to seriously get on some kind of mood stabilizer. It's like a tape that's playing and never stops. Wrong thing said and she gets instantly depressed and tearful. Kind of reminds me of the emotional level of a child. Told my dad I would try to take up some of the slack off him and help him with her. Seeing as how granny passed away and that was her best friend, and the only person I know of that could stand being around her. Last night, Michael and I went out to eat. Told him to make a list of things and I would too, and we'd discuss. Well, lets just say it started out well.
Didn't feel to well, headache, nauseous, and so freaking tired. Went to bed, left door unlocked and told him to come over if he wanted.
It is so nice to sleep next to him or anyone for that matter. A warm body curled up next to is the most peaceful thing I can think of besides holding a baby sleeping up against your chest.
So..that's what has been going on. I'm lonely. I'm tired. I'm a bit stressed feeling.
It's sunny out and I wish I could just be outside in the loveliness of the day. Maybe out on a boat somewhere or something with a small group of friends.
But, those days are long gone.
Have to get into happy smiley mode. Work, Casey's evening.
:)