Unlove #26 "I can be like you."
They spent their last day in Boston quietly. Jimmy moved more slowly than usual, but after most of a day sleeping, he was in better shape. They walked through the car show arm in arm, trying to pick the most exotic or expensive car to use in their ongoing game of 'Just where should I spread you to fuck you?" Alex refused to let him drag her into a corner or a bathroom so by the time they got back to the hotel, he tied her to the bed so he could spend the hour he wanted tormenting her without straining anything.
She drove back to New York while he slept. During the drive, she watched him surreptitiously. So much of their talk over the weekend had taken place on the uncomfortable bedding of eggshells. In the end they'd said what they needed, but she never felt settled after. The niggling sensation that she wasn't what he really wanted was always worse. No matter his assurances, no matter the lack of evidence, she was kept looking for the thing that she was messing up.
He slept at her place the night they got back, then back to his for the next couple. Every night alone in her bed was useless. She didn't sleep well enough to function and napped in a hotel room between clients. What would have been the third and last night alone, she went to his apartment. He ushered her in and dragged her straight to bed to show her his back was healed by taking her in every hole, twice in one, before coming over her belly.
When they woke a few hours later, he asked gently why she was there. He would have gone to her and he'd be at her place the next day, after all. She looked up at one of the bedposts and smiled. Curling around him, she told him she missed him too much to wait and that she wanted to be in his space for a change. She missed that, too. Holding her tightly, he assured her he was always welcome there. He even offered to get her a key.
To keep from panicking at that extra intimacy, she sought out another one. As he kissed her way down his chest to his navel, she asked if he'd spoke to his daughter. Laughing roughly, he nodded. She could get free to have dinner with them; it was only left to decide whose apartment they should host her in. The decision waited until after she brought him to a trembling, groaning climax with her mouth.
He held her afterward, while they talked about where to have dinner, and petted her hair. Her tension was obvious, but he knew just talking through it wasn't going to help. The only thing that worked consistently was the very thing they'd been doing all night. Rolling her on her belly, he pinned her to the bed and slid his hand between her legs. As he fucked her roughly with his fingers and then a thick toy, he reminded her how much he loved her and how sure he was they were doing the right thing.
He woke before her to mediate before work, leaving her happily tucked into his big bed. Watching him move around the bedroom, seemingly without a care in the world, made her feel foolish. He was happy, confident, looking forward to their future-including the nerve wracking step of meeting families. After he kissed her goodbye and grabbed his weapon, she closed her eyes and sighed.
"I can do it," she whispered to herself. "I can believe in this. I can believe in us." She looked around the room at the furniture that would soon be in a space that was theirs. "I can be like you."