Break
As in I seriously need one. I'm so ready to take some time alone. I don't know if this is just because of the Christmas/Holiday season stuff that's had me running nonstop, or if it's something else entirely. I've been looking forward to moving out so that I would have serious alone time for so long that I think that's just become the natural state of things for me. I can't even really take the time to meditate because the TV is going almost all day and night when I'm here. There are times when I think the TV is an evil invention set to destroy the world. I was trying to talk mom into getting rid of the extended basic cable (for money reasons) and now the cable company doesn't even offer that anymore. I know I'm bad about vegging for hours in front of it too, but seriously? My father comes home from work and will sit in front of it until he goes to bed. I think if he were allowed to smoke inside he'd never move.
Speaking of smoking, I was doing really well most of today. Then it just went downhill. I didn't have my first cigarette till 5 this evening. After that, I had about 5 or 6 though. I'm going to try to limit myself to 5 tomorrow, and I think I'll be able to manage it if I make myself do other things. I have to reprogram myself about certain behaviors. Especially going outside. My idea is to start going for a short walk in the evenings when I want to go smoke. It's supposed to warm up a bit this week, so that should make it more plausible. That will help me twofold. I'll be getting in some much needed exercise and reprogramming my brain to associate being out doors with something other than smoking. I just have to keep reminding myself that if I want to be able to easily afford my own place, I have to cut expenses. That's one of the best places to do so.
Speaking of smoking, I was doing really well most of today. Then it just went downhill. I didn't have my first cigarette till 5 this evening. After that, I had about 5 or 6 though. I'm going to try to limit myself to 5 tomorrow, and I think I'll be able to manage it if I make myself do other things. I have to reprogram myself about certain behaviors. Especially going outside. My idea is to start going for a short walk in the evenings when I want to go smoke. It's supposed to warm up a bit this week, so that should make it more plausible. That will help me twofold. I'll be getting in some much needed exercise and reprogramming my brain to associate being out doors with something other than smoking. I just have to keep reminding myself that if I want to be able to easily afford my own place, I have to cut expenses. That's one of the best places to do so.