frustration
"an overwhelming and all pervading hatred" - Detective Ariel, The Pillowman
though, i would replace "hatred" with "frustration". a frustration with life in general. a frustration so overwhelming that i WANT an emotional breakdown. i want to have that break so that i can start rebuilding already.
i am exhausted. so much so that i've been getting 9-12 hours of sleep every night. twice in the last week i took a 1 to 2 hour nap, woke up for a few hours, and THEN proceeded to get 9 hours of sleep. it's unreal. well, it's real. it's as real as life gets. but why am i so exhausted? it's not like i'm doing anything abnormal....
i think that all of the apprentices are at the breaking point. we've lost our luster. we've been broken too many times that we have no energy to fight it off any more. and what sucks is that we are all losing the ability to support each other. over the past few months, we have been lucky enough to have each other for support. and we have been lucky enough to have low points at different times, so we CAN support each other. however, we are all currently broken. all struggling with our own frustrations and depressions...and each feeling like ours is the biggest/most unfair. what makes this all that much worse is that for most of us, the only friends we have (within a stone's throw) are each other.
it's like when you're in school that month before summer vacation...when everyone shuts down. you see the end in sight and you just want to be finished.
though, i would replace "hatred" with "frustration". a frustration with life in general. a frustration so overwhelming that i WANT an emotional breakdown. i want to have that break so that i can start rebuilding already.
i am exhausted. so much so that i've been getting 9-12 hours of sleep every night. twice in the last week i took a 1 to 2 hour nap, woke up for a few hours, and THEN proceeded to get 9 hours of sleep. it's unreal. well, it's real. it's as real as life gets. but why am i so exhausted? it's not like i'm doing anything abnormal....
i think that all of the apprentices are at the breaking point. we've lost our luster. we've been broken too many times that we have no energy to fight it off any more. and what sucks is that we are all losing the ability to support each other. over the past few months, we have been lucky enough to have each other for support. and we have been lucky enough to have low points at different times, so we CAN support each other. however, we are all currently broken. all struggling with our own frustrations and depressions...and each feeling like ours is the biggest/most unfair. what makes this all that much worse is that for most of us, the only friends we have (within a stone's throw) are each other.
it's like when you're in school that month before summer vacation...when everyone shuts down. you see the end in sight and you just want to be finished.