Dialogue Punctuation, or Say WHAT?
How to Write Dialogue, or Say What?
Many a writer has been foiled by dialogue rules. This is a guide to help with the technical aspects more than what is actually said. Also, there will always be some exception somewhere-thank you, English; these rules are true 99.99% of the time. You won't be wrong if you go with them.
New Person, New Paragraph
Wrong:
Harry cried out, "No! Hermione, you can't!" Hermione matched his glare. "Yes, I can." Ron jumped in with, "I agree with Harry, Hermione."
Right:
Harry cried out, "No! Hermione, you can't!"
Hermione matched his glare. "Yes, I can."
Ron jumped in with, "I agree with Harry, Hermione."
If someone responds with something other than a statement of some sort, it still gets a new paragraph.
Harry grabbed Dumbledore's robe as he turned. "Please, you can't leave me here."
Dumbledore smiled sadly and nodded.
Harry cried softly, "No."
Dumbledore mouthed, "I'm sorry."
Split up the paragraphs according to new person, new paragraph. In the first example, Hermione got the second paragraph all to herself. Her actions and speech don't get tagged onto Harry's paragraph, nor do Ron's get tagged onto hers.
Punctuation
In dialogue, all quotes should have some sort of punctuation inside them.
Wrong:
"I missed it"
"Where was she"?
"I saw the smoke"
"That insufferable Umbridge woman was at it again"!
Right:
"I missed it."
"Where was she?"
"I saw the smoke."
"That insufferable Umbridge woman was at it again!"
Commas vs. Periods
If the person did it TO their speech, it's a comma-don't end the sentence in the dialogue.
Wrong:
"But I don't want to." Replied Ron.
He ran away, "If you say so."
"No way," she blinked.
She said to her. "Mum, I am never looking at another diary."
Right:
"But I don't want to," replied Ron.
He ran away. "If you say so."
"No way." She blinked.
She said to her, "Mum, I am never looking at another diary."
In the first example, Ron replied that he didn't want to.
In the second, they are two separate thoughts. He didn't run away the statement.
The third one I see quite frequently. Unless they're blinking in Morse Code, they didn't blink what they're trying to say. (This also happens a lot with glare. I haven't had anyone glare a statement at me, though a glare can say something. He gave her a glare that said, "You stink!" He did not glare at her, "You stink." See the difference?)
The last one, again, she said the sentence, use a comma.
If the sentence within the quotes ends in a question mark or exclamation point, capitalize as if it were a comma.
"I'm not going!" she screamed.
"What's all this about?" asked Harry.
If the action is mumbled, said, added, whispered, mouthed, replied, called, continued, spoken, asked, interrupted, queried, hollered, yelled, or screamed, use a comma (don't break up the sentence into two).
If the action is blinked, glared, glowered, stared, or sneezed, use a period.
To further complicate things, cried, sighed, whimpered, whined, sniffed, spat, and breathed can be either one, depending on your meaning. If you want your character doing it to their statement, use the comma and don't split the sentence. If it is a separate action, use the period.
This isn't really a dialogue thing, but since it's where it's most likely seen in fanfic, this is where I'm putting it.
Direct Address Commas
If someone is saying something to another, use a punctuation before and after their name. What kind of punctuation you use depends on the placement in the sentence. At the beginning, you really only need the one after. The middle gets two commas (or a comma and a semicolon, depending on the sentence). The end gets a period, question mark, or exclamation point. (Follow the above rules for ending with a comma.)
"I am not Harry," said Severus. Means that Severus is saying that he isn't Harry.
"I am not, Harry," said Severus. Means that Severus is telling Harry that he isn't [doing something].
Neither is wrong, they just mean different things.
Wrong:
"Whatever you say Fred."
"No George I won't."
"Harry you didn't."
"He walked all the way to the store and back Albus."
"He didn't do what you said sir."
Right:
"Whatever you say, Fred."
"No, George, I won't."
"Harry, you didn't." OR "Harry! You didn't."
"He walked all the way to the store and back, Albus."
"He didn't do what you said, sir."
Whenever I see the first examples, I think they are some sort of bizarre title for someone. (In the HP universe, you never know.)
This isn't entirely comprensive, but hopefully it helps some.