Family Values, Biblical Style pt. 1
So, I think I want to do a series, let me know what you think. These are the families in the Bible. I'm starting at the beginning here. Don't know how far this will go.
Because I need to say this. I am NOT anti-Bible or anti-religion really. I just figured this would be fun. I do think that if people are going to start screaming, "'Adam and Eve' not 'Adam and Steve'," they should know what it is they are defending. I was thinking about Abraham marrying his sister. And then I thought, no, it goes back further. And then I wanted to actually look at all of the families in the Tenach. I love Torah. Studying Torah is fun. And this is one way to study Torah for me.
Let's start at the Beginning.
Well, I guess we can skip a little bit. We're concerned with humans.
So, let's start with the first humans... er, human. Humanoid?
Bereishit/Genesis 1:27
וַיִּבְרָא אֱ־לֹהִים אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ בְּצֶלֶם אֱ־לֹהִים בָּרָא אֹתוֹ זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה בָּרָא אֹתָם:
So G-d created man in His own image, in the image of G-d created He him; male and female He created them.
I'm going to go with the translation in my Tenach, which I THINK is the new JPS, but I need to look it up. (I'm being lazy and using the one on my phone because then I don't have to get up.)
So this is one of those verses that's really hard to convey in English and have it make sense. (It's one of those verses that doesn't make a whole lot of sense in Hebrew, TBH, but here goes.) G-d creates theAdam--hey, there's Adam. Adam comes from the Hebrew word for earth -- the ground earth, not the world earth -- so basically, God creates an Earthling. This earthling is both male and female. It is not more than one thing, it's being called 'them' in the masculine because Hebrew is a gendered language and defaults to male. And if you have something that is both male and female, it will be a plural male word.
Later, we know this part of the story, Earthling is sad and lonely after naming all of the animals, G-d's all, "Hey, I know what I should do, I should chop you up and make you two!"
Bereishit 2:20-21
וַיִּקְרָא הָאָדָם שֵׁמוֹת לְכָל הַבְּהֵמָה וּלְעוֹף הַשָּׁמַיִם וּלְכֹל חַיַּת הַשָּׂדֶה וּלְאָדָם לֹא מָצָא עֵזֶר כְּנֶגְדּוֹ:
וַיַּפֵּל יְ־הֹוָ־ה אֱ־לֹהִים תַּרְדֵּמָה עַל הָאָדָם וַיִּישָׁן וַיִּקַּח אַחַת מִצַּלְעֹתָיו וַיִּסְגֹּר בָּשָׂר תַּחְתֶּנָּה:
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the bird of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a help to match him.
And the L-rd G-d made Adam fall into a deep sleep and he slept; and He took one from his ribs, and closed up the flesh.
I don't like this translation, I like side better than rib. But since I'm going with professional translations rather than my own, I suppose I should go with the professional translation. With side, you get the image of splitting the dual-sexed earthling better. But that's okay, I just gave it to you.
Woman is created as a separate being and is given an actual name -- Chava. Earthling gets to keep his. Actually, wife and woman are the same word. She gets to become separated and become his wife all at the same time. He brought the wife to earthling is how the next bit reads. (Then we get other words for Earthling-Adam-Man, the male equivalent of Wife/Woman.)
Okay, so our first Biblical 'couple' is actually the same person split in two. I think that's about as incestuous as you can get. I'm not going to talk about the expulsion from Eden, because it's not really relevant to them as far as their relationship. Adam may or may not have lied to her. Either way, they're kicked out Eden, they have two (or four) kids -- Cain and Abel.
Here's the 'or four'. There's a Jewish tradition that says that Cain and Abel were each born with a twin sister, and they each married each other's twin. See, Cain in a little bit has to have people be afraid of him, so there have to be people on the earth TO be afraid of him. Hence, Cain and Abel are having babies with each other's twins -- their sisters. Even more incest. (There's a lot of that in here.)
Cain and Abel start a running theme in Genesis. Brothers are not to get along. Sisters can kind of tolerate each other, but if you see a set of brothers in the first book of the Bible, just hide your head. Things will get ugly.
To me, what's most astonishing, is that some of these stories that many of us know very well only take a few sentences. The entire story from Cain being born to "Am I my brother's keeper" is from Gen: 4:1-9. It can be summed up like this: Eve had Cain. Eve had Abel. Abel was a shepherd; Cain was a farmer. Cain gave an offering of [bad] fruit. Abel gave an offering of a firstborn plump lamb. G-d liked the plump lamb and started making things even BETTER for Abel. Cain gets mad at Abel and kills him. G-d, knowing the answer, says, "Hey, Cain, where's your brother?" Cain says, "IDK, why're you asking me?"
So, yay fratricide. Biblical values, we have them.
G-d sends Cain away. He's either already had kids or some sister-woman doesn't care about whatever this curse is because he has kids. /End Cain's story.
Adam and Eve have Seth. Seth has lots of generations after marrying (or getting it on with) his sister.... Next time on Family Values: Noah and Sons.
Because I need to say this. I am NOT anti-Bible or anti-religion really. I just figured this would be fun. I do think that if people are going to start screaming, "'Adam and Eve' not 'Adam and Steve'," they should know what it is they are defending. I was thinking about Abraham marrying his sister. And then I thought, no, it goes back further. And then I wanted to actually look at all of the families in the Tenach. I love Torah. Studying Torah is fun. And this is one way to study Torah for me.
Let's start at the Beginning.
Well, I guess we can skip a little bit. We're concerned with humans.
So, let's start with the first humans... er, human. Humanoid?
Bereishit/Genesis 1:27
וַיִּבְרָא אֱ־לֹהִים אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ בְּצֶלֶם אֱ־לֹהִים בָּרָא אֹתוֹ זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה בָּרָא אֹתָם:
So G-d created man in His own image, in the image of G-d created He him; male and female He created them.
I'm going to go with the translation in my Tenach, which I THINK is the new JPS, but I need to look it up. (I'm being lazy and using the one on my phone because then I don't have to get up.)
So this is one of those verses that's really hard to convey in English and have it make sense. (It's one of those verses that doesn't make a whole lot of sense in Hebrew, TBH, but here goes.) G-d creates theAdam--hey, there's Adam. Adam comes from the Hebrew word for earth -- the ground earth, not the world earth -- so basically, God creates an Earthling. This earthling is both male and female. It is not more than one thing, it's being called 'them' in the masculine because Hebrew is a gendered language and defaults to male. And if you have something that is both male and female, it will be a plural male word.
Later, we know this part of the story, Earthling is sad and lonely after naming all of the animals, G-d's all, "Hey, I know what I should do, I should chop you up and make you two!"
Bereishit 2:20-21
וַיִּקְרָא הָאָדָם שֵׁמוֹת לְכָל הַבְּהֵמָה וּלְעוֹף הַשָּׁמַיִם וּלְכֹל חַיַּת הַשָּׂדֶה וּלְאָדָם לֹא מָצָא עֵזֶר כְּנֶגְדּוֹ:
וַיַּפֵּל יְ־הֹוָ־ה אֱ־לֹהִים תַּרְדֵּמָה עַל הָאָדָם וַיִּישָׁן וַיִּקַּח אַחַת מִצַּלְעֹתָיו וַיִּסְגֹּר בָּשָׂר תַּחְתֶּנָּה:
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the bird of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a help to match him.
And the L-rd G-d made Adam fall into a deep sleep and he slept; and He took one from his ribs, and closed up the flesh.
I don't like this translation, I like side better than rib. But since I'm going with professional translations rather than my own, I suppose I should go with the professional translation. With side, you get the image of splitting the dual-sexed earthling better. But that's okay, I just gave it to you.
Woman is created as a separate being and is given an actual name -- Chava. Earthling gets to keep his. Actually, wife and woman are the same word. She gets to become separated and become his wife all at the same time. He brought the wife to earthling is how the next bit reads. (Then we get other words for Earthling-Adam-Man, the male equivalent of Wife/Woman.)
Okay, so our first Biblical 'couple' is actually the same person split in two. I think that's about as incestuous as you can get. I'm not going to talk about the expulsion from Eden, because it's not really relevant to them as far as their relationship. Adam may or may not have lied to her. Either way, they're kicked out Eden, they have two (or four) kids -- Cain and Abel.
Here's the 'or four'. There's a Jewish tradition that says that Cain and Abel were each born with a twin sister, and they each married each other's twin. See, Cain in a little bit has to have people be afraid of him, so there have to be people on the earth TO be afraid of him. Hence, Cain and Abel are having babies with each other's twins -- their sisters. Even more incest. (There's a lot of that in here.)
Cain and Abel start a running theme in Genesis. Brothers are not to get along. Sisters can kind of tolerate each other, but if you see a set of brothers in the first book of the Bible, just hide your head. Things will get ugly.
To me, what's most astonishing, is that some of these stories that many of us know very well only take a few sentences. The entire story from Cain being born to "Am I my brother's keeper" is from Gen: 4:1-9. It can be summed up like this: Eve had Cain. Eve had Abel. Abel was a shepherd; Cain was a farmer. Cain gave an offering of [bad] fruit. Abel gave an offering of a firstborn plump lamb. G-d liked the plump lamb and started making things even BETTER for Abel. Cain gets mad at Abel and kills him. G-d, knowing the answer, says, "Hey, Cain, where's your brother?" Cain says, "IDK, why're you asking me?"
So, yay fratricide. Biblical values, we have them.
G-d sends Cain away. He's either already had kids or some sister-woman doesn't care about whatever this curse is because he has kids. /End Cain's story.
Adam and Eve have Seth. Seth has lots of generations after marrying (or getting it on with) his sister.... Next time on Family Values: Noah and Sons.