(no subject)
i have pretty pictures from tonight but i don't know how to put them on here. i'm going to learn, though.
i keep discovering more about myself. i refuse to call it self-discovery, though, b/c that sounds like masterbation to me for some reason.
anyway, tonight on my car ride to jay's house i was listening to phantom planet's song "it's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day." that one line stuck out at me b/c it's exactly how today felt: LONELY. i immediately identified with the song. and therein lies my self-discovery (okay, i said it, it's just such a useful form for the word!): i always push myself to find a little of myself in everything--music, books, art, other people, etc.
the problem, then, is when the song continues. b/c, although that one line is something i can easily identify with, the rest of the song doesnt' necessarily apply to my life. but i've already TOLD myself that THIS SONG IS MY LIFE and so all of a sudden i have to listen very carefully to hear what other truths might be revealed.
does this make any sense to anyone besides myself?
it's like gilmore girls. okay i really like rory, and sometimes i identify so much with her! and then she went to yale which hello is awesome. but now she's leaving yale and i heard her reasoning and i got worried, like oh god she is me and if yale isn't right for her then, okay, obviously it won't be right for me.
this is retarded. i am not rory gilmore. sorry for the stupid example. i swear i think about deeper things.
on another note i've been very lonely lately and i'm remembering the cross-stitched francis bacon quote downstairs "talk but a tinkling cymbal" i've started tuning people out b/c i'm so absorbed by the blaring loneliness of my own thoughts.
i keep discovering more about myself. i refuse to call it self-discovery, though, b/c that sounds like masterbation to me for some reason.
anyway, tonight on my car ride to jay's house i was listening to phantom planet's song "it's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day." that one line stuck out at me b/c it's exactly how today felt: LONELY. i immediately identified with the song. and therein lies my self-discovery (okay, i said it, it's just such a useful form for the word!): i always push myself to find a little of myself in everything--music, books, art, other people, etc.
the problem, then, is when the song continues. b/c, although that one line is something i can easily identify with, the rest of the song doesnt' necessarily apply to my life. but i've already TOLD myself that THIS SONG IS MY LIFE and so all of a sudden i have to listen very carefully to hear what other truths might be revealed.
does this make any sense to anyone besides myself?
it's like gilmore girls. okay i really like rory, and sometimes i identify so much with her! and then she went to yale which hello is awesome. but now she's leaving yale and i heard her reasoning and i got worried, like oh god she is me and if yale isn't right for her then, okay, obviously it won't be right for me.
this is retarded. i am not rory gilmore. sorry for the stupid example. i swear i think about deeper things.
on another note i've been very lonely lately and i'm remembering the cross-stitched francis bacon quote downstairs "talk but a tinkling cymbal" i've started tuning people out b/c i'm so absorbed by the blaring loneliness of my own thoughts.