Black Dress
Preface
I felt like I was in another world; one where vampires, werewolves, fairies, and maybe even witches existed.
It stamped fresh in my memory how I almost came face to face with death itself every second of the day here. He was impossible to escape; it was never something I would have got used to. He didn’t look like what cartoons and movies expressed though, no dark black cloak that dragged into the ground, no bony fingers and skeleton that grew out of nowhere. He looked like a typical boy on Earth, washed out jeans, an oversized t-shirt and an “I Love Boobies” bracelet on his wrist.
The world spinned around and I can feel myself lift from my sanity. I felt him hold me, and ready to strike but it seemed hesitant. I glanced at him and my mind evolved itself only around him now. It seemed funny that at this time, my life was far from my mind, but it was trapped around him.
The center of my existence, I described him.
I was more than surprised when I met him, the face was too familiar to be mistaken. I stared across the barricade surrounding me and him, facing directly at him. I thought for a second if I didn’t went to Woods, I would have probably never have met more than my portion of deaths.
My own very form of death was my boyfriend…
……………..
Chapter 1
My cousin drove me to the party near the big oak tree, a big lamppost standing to its side. The weather was freezing, even with the heater on, the temperature was baring enough to crack warmth into my system. I thought back at what I was wearing, a laced shirts that clings tightly to my chest and black jeans; my phone in my back pocket.
In the Eastern Coast of the world stood a small, humid place called Woods. I called it the land of bipolar because one day it the temperature can rise to 111 degrees and the next dropping to a harmful temp of only 13. It was the place that I now cast myself away from all social life and insanity of myself. It was in this town that I now have to spend my 19th year at and maybe beyond that too.
It wasn’t a surprise when in the midst of my activities; my mom announced that we would be moving. I had only looked at her in an uninterested way and went back to doing what it was I had been. For 18 years, I had visited 6 places, a few towns and countries in my stop. But I had grew to like my last shelter though, Seattle. I liked the sun on my skin; the bustling city in the crowded peninsula.
“Jaejoong, are you sure you want to come sweetheart? I mean you don’t have to, you won’t know anyone and I doubt you’d find any interest to be with company-“ Heechul hyung asked looking at me.
My cousin was the only relative that had been with me everywhere I went. Besides my parents, he was the only one that was with me 23 hours of the day. He resembled me abit, pouty lips, pale lit skin, a skinny frame, all in all he was a symbol of gracefulness and striking beauty.
“I’m fine hyung. I doubt I’ll have any fun at home listening to the couple talk about wine,” I said sarcastically. He looked sadly at me and I cracked a smile to reassure him. Unlike myself, the first day at school for him was crowded like always, people asked for phone numbers and where he lives just like how they did in Seattle. I had never felt self conscious about that though. I didn’t care, really and that was one thing I liked about myself. The world can disappear for all I would notice, but leave Heechul hyung with me.
We arrived at the doorstep of the place. I wasn’t worried about the people that was in it, I could always find a secluded place for all I cared; Heechul hyung’s safety, I was a bit more conscious.
The place looked dirty outside, it was made out of bricks and light was scared out on the sidewalk. I thought cracking a light bulb here or there wouldn’t hurt. My steps began but it faltered when Heechul hyung asked me again if I was sure I wanted to come in. I just pushed him in.
Inside it was warm and dry, different from outside. But still, it was dim lighted and it was hard to make out how the house actually looks like. From this view, the house was small, a counter ahead that I guessed was the kitchen and several rooms on my side. It seemed like a big house now though, if only the lights were on I thought.
“Heechul,” a voice yelled out in front of me. A few kids were standing near the counter and were waving at who I guessed was Heechul hyung. We stepped over and I could see Heechul give an awkward one armed hug to the guy earlier, his eyes not leaving me.
“Who’s this?” he asked hyung.
“This is my cousin, Jaejoong. I brought him here because he would only be alone at the house today. You guys mind?”
“Oh, no not at all,” and then whether on politeness or script, he introduced himself, he said his name was Hangeng, and issued his hands toward me. I shook it slightly and whispered a soft hello.
Now that I look closely, everyone of the kids standing near the counter was stunning, gorgeous. They all had pale white skin, and a form that kids all over would die for. Like models in a drawn picture; I squinted my eyes in the light and swore that Heechul hyung also looked more stunning here than usual, it must be a trick of the lights.
Furthermore, the whole night was uneventful. We exchanged a few more comments on my life, which was boring, and I went back to staring around the place and people there. It surprised me how familiar they all were, pale complexion and a breathtaking form, even their walks seemed graceful.
I couldn’t deny the warm feeling radiating from the room though. It suited my taste well, no doubt about it, with the lights halfway on, I was starting to get used to it. The walls were decorated with portraits from what looks like renaissance time, each hung in an ordinary manner but still it struck the wall and looked like works in an museum. It looked grace.
The clock vibrated under my feet when it struck midnight. Heechul hyung was quietly saying goodbye to his friends.
“Bye you guys. Oh and Jaejoong,” I turned when my name was called. “Come hang out with us at school. You seemed like you can use some company. Don’t worry though, we don’t bite,” the boy said and the kids around erupted in laughter. His voice rang through me and I furrowed at his strange behavior. I ushered my goodbye quickly and left, but somehow I can still feel his gaze on me, I could tell it was him though. How strange…
Woods High School has a surprising population of only 324 students including me; it wasn’t a lie when they said Woods was secluded. All the kids here seemed to have grown up together, maybe even their generations before them and on, but for a fact rumors would have spread very fast here.
I thought that I wouldn’t fit very well here but somehow the crowd from last night proved it wrong. I couldn’t stop thinking about the party though, call it one of the most exciting thing in my life. The feeling of acceptance was stronger there than I had ever felt before, even at home. I wasn’t a total freak here.
I thought that I could have planned myself to be a bit more blended in at times. Because of what I heard, the place seemed to be sunny and such. Instead of that I was pale, skinny, and not very tall. I was pretty sure I’d be an outcast but surprisingly all the kids here looked somewhat similar to me. All pale, mysterious in ways.
I couldn’t sleep that night. Even after my usual habit of drawing at night, sleep didn’t take over and I was forced to lay in bed looking at the ceiling. My stomach rumbled a bit, but I was too lazy to get downstairs for food. Lately my appetite had lessen, decreased to when I only 1 meal a day. I thought back at the party a bit, at the portraits that’s forever stuck in my mind, the movements that irked my attention, the brown haired boy with his dim witted smirk, my memories paused on him and then sleep finally consumed me.
Sunlight was the first thing I noticed in the morning of a school day, it poured into my window until I noticed the white flakes on the window. Hmm, I never noticed that before. The room looked a bit different though, from last night but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Something changed for certain but I wasn’t sure.
I made my way to the bathroom, I was lucky I had my own, and touched up on my human moment. I looked even more pale now than before I thought but maybe I was just imagining it.
It made me uncomfortable though, inside the house when I found out that they had more than their share of intimate moments at night. Gosh, makes me wish for a soundproof door.
I didn’t want to be late for school but proper dressing was a must. I wore my usual laced up shirt, those gothic type. I had to wear a girls one cause they didn’t have it for guys but Heechul hyung said I looked more prettier than those whores back at Seattle so I trusted him. Laced up sneakers also, I threw a jacket on and skitted out the door.
It was raining a bit, even with the sunlight out I could feel drops of water on my skin. I hoped it stops.
The steps of my feet pattered on the mossy sideway. i pushed a button and the garage door opened revealing a number of vehicles. I didn’t even glance at the others; instead I took my usual Mercedes with me. It was black and jet fast, I often take it out for a spin when I felt myself needing a breath of air or something like that.
Inside the car, it was warm and toasty like always. Looking around, it was obvious Heechul hyung had cleaned it up a bit last night. He must have known I was going to ride it to school, that guy. I decided Heechul hyung was my second umma.
The school wasn’t hard to find. It was the only school in the area and well, my gps is never wrong. Again, the warm feeling washed over me as soon as I got there, even inside the car. It sweeps at me and wraps me in its warm embrace.
I parked in front of the schools main buiding, which had a small sign that said main building. Unlike other towns, this whole town seems to give off a rich vibe and by looking at the cars, I had to agree. There were a few parking spaces left, the surprising thing was that there was no handicap signs and spaces. Another weird thing in this weird place.
I walked to the front office, like every other schools it was right near the entrance. I sucked in a breath and opened the door.
The building, although it looked like any other schools, was really different inside. The walls were painted in an old looking color, adobe-ish, and furthermore the ground was made of carpet. It was cooler than what I’d expected but I didn’t mind. I walked right up to the counter that was actually in the far back way of the room, the front half lines with sofas, and excused myself.
The black haired lady looked up at me. “Yes, may I help you?”
“My name is Kim Jaejoong. I’m a new student here.” I said.
“Kim Jaejoong,” she whispered under her breath and searched up my name. “From Seattle Washington, brown haired, big eyes, born in Korea. Birthday is January 26, 1986 right?” Her words slurred fast but I nodded.
“What can I do to help you?”
“I have for 4th period P.E., can I change it to library assistant?”
“Really? You don’t like P.E.?” the woman asked.
“I don’t really have a good relationship with physical activities, mostly round things that can bounce or roll,” I sheepishly answer, a blush creeping up to my cheeks. Even in my last school, I had a reputation with being an accident prone with the sports. I wasn’t going to let that destroy my life here too.
“Okay, librarian assistant. Check.” And her hand imitated a check.
I smiled a thank-you and left out the door. So accidental prone situation; done. Now all I need to do is be accustomed with the way-“
“Hey Jaejoong,” a boy yelled from behind me. I looked toward him and realized it was one of the guys from the party last night. “Oh wow, I actually found you today. So what are you doing? Or where?” He placed his hands on his hips.
“I’m just trying to find my way around the school.” I whispered softy. I didn’t even look at him.
“Oh, do you want me to show you around?”
I looked suspiciously at the offer, it sounded way too cheerful in my mind. I thought I didn’t really need it so I just shook my head.
“Aw, Jae, come on. Give me a chance. I’ll make it fun.” He looked like a kicked puppy and well, I’m a nice person, I don’t like kicking puppies and so my morning was spent on him and his occasionally comments. It was joyful though, I learned his name was Hangeng. He had a cute accent because he was from China, and he studied ballet before.
The bell rang a while after the tour and I headed toward my class. But not before he made me promise to join him at lunch. I agreed and turned the handle to my first class.
I didn’t even look at the room, just followed myself to the back of the row and plop myself down.
The rest of the morning passed on the same manner. I’d always find my way in the back of the class and blurred myself out of the boring lecture of what was areas of triangle and mitosis of onion cells. But strangely I found myself knowing everything later on.
The school looked a bit familiar after two classes, despite the tour in the beginning, and I found that I can travel to my destination without a problem now. A teacher asked me to introduce myself, which I spoke a soft My name is Kim Jaejoong, I’m from Daegu and sat back down. Some people tried to make greetings with me in which I just give them a smile and ignore. That was my social rule.
After class, a boy with black hair and rosy lips slid next to me. “Hi Jaejoong.” He looked like a model but I didn’t notice that, his voice though surprised me.
“Um, how do you know me?”
“I’m one of the people from the party last night.” He said. His voice reminded me of a dolphin, it was pitchy but warm.
“Where are you going now?”
I remembered my conversation with Hangeng hyung. “To the library.” I replied.
“Oh really? Me too. Are you going to meet the group?” I nodded.
“Yay,” was that a squeal? “Let’s go together.” We ended up there together, his arms linked around my hands. I tried to shake him off, but his grip tightened and I gave up.
The library was more than I had anticipated. Like everything else I had encountered outside my room, it was dim lighted, but instead of portraits on the wall, a big painting of a quilt and ink on the wall. There were candles there too and I wondered if it was a good idea to have lit candles in an dark room full of paper.
We sat on the end of the table. I learn the boys name was Junsu. Heechul hyung was there too, he was sitting next to Hangeng and there were many more people, some were familiar faces from last night. Junsu took the liberty to introduce everyone, all of which I took note of but doubt they’ll stay in my memories very long.
I was sitting and chatting with Heechul hyung on the table when I saw him. He was sitting at the far end corner of the table but he was strikingly beautiful or handsome, I wondered how I didn’t see him first. He wore a dark blue pull over sweater and on his wrist a silver bracelet hung. How I regret I didn’t pay introduction to them.
He wasn’t any different from everyone. Pale white, dirty adobe hair, he looked good enough to be in a high fashioned magazine. Everyone did, but him in particular…
“Junsu, what’s his name?” I asked out before I realized it. Junsu darts his head toward my gaze and I could see him crack a smile.
“Oh, him? That’s Yunho hyung. He’s in the same 4th period as yours.” My mind was struck on him that I didn’t even ask how Junsu knew my schedule. He was chatting quietly with another guy in the table.
“Jaejoong. Are you going to eat anything?” Heechul asks me. I snapped out my dream and nodded at him. He gave me his tray of food for me. I ate slowly, only an apple and a piece of lasagna but I felt full, dissatisfied.
I sat at the table more than I thought I would if I was alone. It felt good to be in accepted environment now though. Usually Heechul hyung would sit with me for lunch and that’d means other people would to, for him of course. But here I was welcomed, it felt good.
I was anxious not to be late for class. Habits of being taken notice upon and such was never my expertise. Again I sat in the far back and strap in for another boring lecture. I didn’t need to listen, Seattle was already one step ahead and now this felt like a review. Junsu, Changmin, and Yoochun were in my class. Changmin was a few years younger but according to Junsu he was a genius and had skipped several grades, and looking at the other two’s behavior, they were obviously a couple, I had the sudden interest to tease them.
4th period came sooner than I had hoped and everyone bid me goodbye before I left for the library. I was beyond nervous, I didn’t know why but the thought of being in the same room as Yunho leaves me feeling slightly more nervous meeting him than the others. He probably doesn’t even know I existed though.
The library was the same as we had left it. The tables were all pretty empty except for one, I recognize him as Yunho. As I went to get my slip signed, I could few his gaze on my back. It sent a jolt of electricity through me and before I had wanted to be there, I was already halfway.
He sat there, perfectly focused on his drawing patterns when I came. I guess he wasn’t the social type either, unfortunately. A shaky voice ushered out a hello I know was mine and we were back to the awkward atmosphere.
My hand that was now numb and just appeared to write nonsense had slipped the pen out of my hands. It was a moment of politeness that had left me in shock for the next few seconds. His hands had unconsciously brushed past mine and it was only for that millisecond before he jolted his hand away that I took note of the tiny electric sparks that entraps in them. My mouth widened a bit and I guess he could tell I was staring when he whispered a sorry and continued what he was doing before.
The whole period was then proceeded by Mrs. Ravenmind, the librarian’s name on how to stack books and where to find then and what exactly was they about that I had unconsciously blanked out upon.
During this whole, I had occasionally took peeks at Yunho. His posture hadn’t really seemed to change, It was rigid or stiff but it didn’t really look comfortable either. His elbow supported his body and it looked as though he wasn’t paying as much as the librarian had hoped either; I smiled a bit at that.
The class ended much quickly than I had thought but I didn’t mind when I bolted out the door into crystal daylight. The past hour was too much on my brain. I thought it was the affect of having to listen to a person talk nonstop but it was actually the other problem. The whole time we had not even exchange one word from that hello and I’m sorry conversation, bit instead I might have freaked him out with my behavior back there. Not really my fault though, I didn’t really get a good night sleep last night.
I felt like I was in another world; one where vampires, werewolves, fairies, and maybe even witches existed.
It stamped fresh in my memory how I almost came face to face with death itself every second of the day here. He was impossible to escape; it was never something I would have got used to. He didn’t look like what cartoons and movies expressed though, no dark black cloak that dragged into the ground, no bony fingers and skeleton that grew out of nowhere. He looked like a typical boy on Earth, washed out jeans, an oversized t-shirt and an “I Love Boobies” bracelet on his wrist.
The world spinned around and I can feel myself lift from my sanity. I felt him hold me, and ready to strike but it seemed hesitant. I glanced at him and my mind evolved itself only around him now. It seemed funny that at this time, my life was far from my mind, but it was trapped around him.
The center of my existence, I described him.
I was more than surprised when I met him, the face was too familiar to be mistaken. I stared across the barricade surrounding me and him, facing directly at him. I thought for a second if I didn’t went to Woods, I would have probably never have met more than my portion of deaths.
My own very form of death was my boyfriend…
……………..
Chapter 1
My cousin drove me to the party near the big oak tree, a big lamppost standing to its side. The weather was freezing, even with the heater on, the temperature was baring enough to crack warmth into my system. I thought back at what I was wearing, a laced shirts that clings tightly to my chest and black jeans; my phone in my back pocket.
In the Eastern Coast of the world stood a small, humid place called Woods. I called it the land of bipolar because one day it the temperature can rise to 111 degrees and the next dropping to a harmful temp of only 13. It was the place that I now cast myself away from all social life and insanity of myself. It was in this town that I now have to spend my 19th year at and maybe beyond that too.
It wasn’t a surprise when in the midst of my activities; my mom announced that we would be moving. I had only looked at her in an uninterested way and went back to doing what it was I had been. For 18 years, I had visited 6 places, a few towns and countries in my stop. But I had grew to like my last shelter though, Seattle. I liked the sun on my skin; the bustling city in the crowded peninsula.
“Jaejoong, are you sure you want to come sweetheart? I mean you don’t have to, you won’t know anyone and I doubt you’d find any interest to be with company-“ Heechul hyung asked looking at me.
My cousin was the only relative that had been with me everywhere I went. Besides my parents, he was the only one that was with me 23 hours of the day. He resembled me abit, pouty lips, pale lit skin, a skinny frame, all in all he was a symbol of gracefulness and striking beauty.
“I’m fine hyung. I doubt I’ll have any fun at home listening to the couple talk about wine,” I said sarcastically. He looked sadly at me and I cracked a smile to reassure him. Unlike myself, the first day at school for him was crowded like always, people asked for phone numbers and where he lives just like how they did in Seattle. I had never felt self conscious about that though. I didn’t care, really and that was one thing I liked about myself. The world can disappear for all I would notice, but leave Heechul hyung with me.
We arrived at the doorstep of the place. I wasn’t worried about the people that was in it, I could always find a secluded place for all I cared; Heechul hyung’s safety, I was a bit more conscious.
The place looked dirty outside, it was made out of bricks and light was scared out on the sidewalk. I thought cracking a light bulb here or there wouldn’t hurt. My steps began but it faltered when Heechul hyung asked me again if I was sure I wanted to come in. I just pushed him in.
Inside it was warm and dry, different from outside. But still, it was dim lighted and it was hard to make out how the house actually looks like. From this view, the house was small, a counter ahead that I guessed was the kitchen and several rooms on my side. It seemed like a big house now though, if only the lights were on I thought.
“Heechul,” a voice yelled out in front of me. A few kids were standing near the counter and were waving at who I guessed was Heechul hyung. We stepped over and I could see Heechul give an awkward one armed hug to the guy earlier, his eyes not leaving me.
“Who’s this?” he asked hyung.
“This is my cousin, Jaejoong. I brought him here because he would only be alone at the house today. You guys mind?”
“Oh, no not at all,” and then whether on politeness or script, he introduced himself, he said his name was Hangeng, and issued his hands toward me. I shook it slightly and whispered a soft hello.
Now that I look closely, everyone of the kids standing near the counter was stunning, gorgeous. They all had pale white skin, and a form that kids all over would die for. Like models in a drawn picture; I squinted my eyes in the light and swore that Heechul hyung also looked more stunning here than usual, it must be a trick of the lights.
Furthermore, the whole night was uneventful. We exchanged a few more comments on my life, which was boring, and I went back to staring around the place and people there. It surprised me how familiar they all were, pale complexion and a breathtaking form, even their walks seemed graceful.
I couldn’t deny the warm feeling radiating from the room though. It suited my taste well, no doubt about it, with the lights halfway on, I was starting to get used to it. The walls were decorated with portraits from what looks like renaissance time, each hung in an ordinary manner but still it struck the wall and looked like works in an museum. It looked grace.
The clock vibrated under my feet when it struck midnight. Heechul hyung was quietly saying goodbye to his friends.
“Bye you guys. Oh and Jaejoong,” I turned when my name was called. “Come hang out with us at school. You seemed like you can use some company. Don’t worry though, we don’t bite,” the boy said and the kids around erupted in laughter. His voice rang through me and I furrowed at his strange behavior. I ushered my goodbye quickly and left, but somehow I can still feel his gaze on me, I could tell it was him though. How strange…
Woods High School has a surprising population of only 324 students including me; it wasn’t a lie when they said Woods was secluded. All the kids here seemed to have grown up together, maybe even their generations before them and on, but for a fact rumors would have spread very fast here.
I thought that I wouldn’t fit very well here but somehow the crowd from last night proved it wrong. I couldn’t stop thinking about the party though, call it one of the most exciting thing in my life. The feeling of acceptance was stronger there than I had ever felt before, even at home. I wasn’t a total freak here.
I thought that I could have planned myself to be a bit more blended in at times. Because of what I heard, the place seemed to be sunny and such. Instead of that I was pale, skinny, and not very tall. I was pretty sure I’d be an outcast but surprisingly all the kids here looked somewhat similar to me. All pale, mysterious in ways.
I couldn’t sleep that night. Even after my usual habit of drawing at night, sleep didn’t take over and I was forced to lay in bed looking at the ceiling. My stomach rumbled a bit, but I was too lazy to get downstairs for food. Lately my appetite had lessen, decreased to when I only 1 meal a day. I thought back at the party a bit, at the portraits that’s forever stuck in my mind, the movements that irked my attention, the brown haired boy with his dim witted smirk, my memories paused on him and then sleep finally consumed me.
Sunlight was the first thing I noticed in the morning of a school day, it poured into my window until I noticed the white flakes on the window. Hmm, I never noticed that before. The room looked a bit different though, from last night but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Something changed for certain but I wasn’t sure.
I made my way to the bathroom, I was lucky I had my own, and touched up on my human moment. I looked even more pale now than before I thought but maybe I was just imagining it.
It made me uncomfortable though, inside the house when I found out that they had more than their share of intimate moments at night. Gosh, makes me wish for a soundproof door.
I didn’t want to be late for school but proper dressing was a must. I wore my usual laced up shirt, those gothic type. I had to wear a girls one cause they didn’t have it for guys but Heechul hyung said I looked more prettier than those whores back at Seattle so I trusted him. Laced up sneakers also, I threw a jacket on and skitted out the door.
It was raining a bit, even with the sunlight out I could feel drops of water on my skin. I hoped it stops.
The steps of my feet pattered on the mossy sideway. i pushed a button and the garage door opened revealing a number of vehicles. I didn’t even glance at the others; instead I took my usual Mercedes with me. It was black and jet fast, I often take it out for a spin when I felt myself needing a breath of air or something like that.
Inside the car, it was warm and toasty like always. Looking around, it was obvious Heechul hyung had cleaned it up a bit last night. He must have known I was going to ride it to school, that guy. I decided Heechul hyung was my second umma.
The school wasn’t hard to find. It was the only school in the area and well, my gps is never wrong. Again, the warm feeling washed over me as soon as I got there, even inside the car. It sweeps at me and wraps me in its warm embrace.
I parked in front of the schools main buiding, which had a small sign that said main building. Unlike other towns, this whole town seems to give off a rich vibe and by looking at the cars, I had to agree. There were a few parking spaces left, the surprising thing was that there was no handicap signs and spaces. Another weird thing in this weird place.
I walked to the front office, like every other schools it was right near the entrance. I sucked in a breath and opened the door.
The building, although it looked like any other schools, was really different inside. The walls were painted in an old looking color, adobe-ish, and furthermore the ground was made of carpet. It was cooler than what I’d expected but I didn’t mind. I walked right up to the counter that was actually in the far back way of the room, the front half lines with sofas, and excused myself.
The black haired lady looked up at me. “Yes, may I help you?”
“My name is Kim Jaejoong. I’m a new student here.” I said.
“Kim Jaejoong,” she whispered under her breath and searched up my name. “From Seattle Washington, brown haired, big eyes, born in Korea. Birthday is January 26, 1986 right?” Her words slurred fast but I nodded.
“What can I do to help you?”
“I have for 4th period P.E., can I change it to library assistant?”
“Really? You don’t like P.E.?” the woman asked.
“I don’t really have a good relationship with physical activities, mostly round things that can bounce or roll,” I sheepishly answer, a blush creeping up to my cheeks. Even in my last school, I had a reputation with being an accident prone with the sports. I wasn’t going to let that destroy my life here too.
“Okay, librarian assistant. Check.” And her hand imitated a check.
I smiled a thank-you and left out the door. So accidental prone situation; done. Now all I need to do is be accustomed with the way-“
“Hey Jaejoong,” a boy yelled from behind me. I looked toward him and realized it was one of the guys from the party last night. “Oh wow, I actually found you today. So what are you doing? Or where?” He placed his hands on his hips.
“I’m just trying to find my way around the school.” I whispered softy. I didn’t even look at him.
“Oh, do you want me to show you around?”
I looked suspiciously at the offer, it sounded way too cheerful in my mind. I thought I didn’t really need it so I just shook my head.
“Aw, Jae, come on. Give me a chance. I’ll make it fun.” He looked like a kicked puppy and well, I’m a nice person, I don’t like kicking puppies and so my morning was spent on him and his occasionally comments. It was joyful though, I learned his name was Hangeng. He had a cute accent because he was from China, and he studied ballet before.
The bell rang a while after the tour and I headed toward my class. But not before he made me promise to join him at lunch. I agreed and turned the handle to my first class.
I didn’t even look at the room, just followed myself to the back of the row and plop myself down.
The rest of the morning passed on the same manner. I’d always find my way in the back of the class and blurred myself out of the boring lecture of what was areas of triangle and mitosis of onion cells. But strangely I found myself knowing everything later on.
The school looked a bit familiar after two classes, despite the tour in the beginning, and I found that I can travel to my destination without a problem now. A teacher asked me to introduce myself, which I spoke a soft My name is Kim Jaejoong, I’m from Daegu and sat back down. Some people tried to make greetings with me in which I just give them a smile and ignore. That was my social rule.
After class, a boy with black hair and rosy lips slid next to me. “Hi Jaejoong.” He looked like a model but I didn’t notice that, his voice though surprised me.
“Um, how do you know me?”
“I’m one of the people from the party last night.” He said. His voice reminded me of a dolphin, it was pitchy but warm.
“Where are you going now?”
I remembered my conversation with Hangeng hyung. “To the library.” I replied.
“Oh really? Me too. Are you going to meet the group?” I nodded.
“Yay,” was that a squeal? “Let’s go together.” We ended up there together, his arms linked around my hands. I tried to shake him off, but his grip tightened and I gave up.
The library was more than I had anticipated. Like everything else I had encountered outside my room, it was dim lighted, but instead of portraits on the wall, a big painting of a quilt and ink on the wall. There were candles there too and I wondered if it was a good idea to have lit candles in an dark room full of paper.
We sat on the end of the table. I learn the boys name was Junsu. Heechul hyung was there too, he was sitting next to Hangeng and there were many more people, some were familiar faces from last night. Junsu took the liberty to introduce everyone, all of which I took note of but doubt they’ll stay in my memories very long.
I was sitting and chatting with Heechul hyung on the table when I saw him. He was sitting at the far end corner of the table but he was strikingly beautiful or handsome, I wondered how I didn’t see him first. He wore a dark blue pull over sweater and on his wrist a silver bracelet hung. How I regret I didn’t pay introduction to them.
He wasn’t any different from everyone. Pale white, dirty adobe hair, he looked good enough to be in a high fashioned magazine. Everyone did, but him in particular…
“Junsu, what’s his name?” I asked out before I realized it. Junsu darts his head toward my gaze and I could see him crack a smile.
“Oh, him? That’s Yunho hyung. He’s in the same 4th period as yours.” My mind was struck on him that I didn’t even ask how Junsu knew my schedule. He was chatting quietly with another guy in the table.
“Jaejoong. Are you going to eat anything?” Heechul asks me. I snapped out my dream and nodded at him. He gave me his tray of food for me. I ate slowly, only an apple and a piece of lasagna but I felt full, dissatisfied.
I sat at the table more than I thought I would if I was alone. It felt good to be in accepted environment now though. Usually Heechul hyung would sit with me for lunch and that’d means other people would to, for him of course. But here I was welcomed, it felt good.
I was anxious not to be late for class. Habits of being taken notice upon and such was never my expertise. Again I sat in the far back and strap in for another boring lecture. I didn’t need to listen, Seattle was already one step ahead and now this felt like a review. Junsu, Changmin, and Yoochun were in my class. Changmin was a few years younger but according to Junsu he was a genius and had skipped several grades, and looking at the other two’s behavior, they were obviously a couple, I had the sudden interest to tease them.
4th period came sooner than I had hoped and everyone bid me goodbye before I left for the library. I was beyond nervous, I didn’t know why but the thought of being in the same room as Yunho leaves me feeling slightly more nervous meeting him than the others. He probably doesn’t even know I existed though.
The library was the same as we had left it. The tables were all pretty empty except for one, I recognize him as Yunho. As I went to get my slip signed, I could few his gaze on my back. It sent a jolt of electricity through me and before I had wanted to be there, I was already halfway.
He sat there, perfectly focused on his drawing patterns when I came. I guess he wasn’t the social type either, unfortunately. A shaky voice ushered out a hello I know was mine and we were back to the awkward atmosphere.
My hand that was now numb and just appeared to write nonsense had slipped the pen out of my hands. It was a moment of politeness that had left me in shock for the next few seconds. His hands had unconsciously brushed past mine and it was only for that millisecond before he jolted his hand away that I took note of the tiny electric sparks that entraps in them. My mouth widened a bit and I guess he could tell I was staring when he whispered a sorry and continued what he was doing before.
The whole period was then proceeded by Mrs. Ravenmind, the librarian’s name on how to stack books and where to find then and what exactly was they about that I had unconsciously blanked out upon.
During this whole, I had occasionally took peeks at Yunho. His posture hadn’t really seemed to change, It was rigid or stiff but it didn’t really look comfortable either. His elbow supported his body and it looked as though he wasn’t paying as much as the librarian had hoped either; I smiled a bit at that.
The class ended much quickly than I had thought but I didn’t mind when I bolted out the door into crystal daylight. The past hour was too much on my brain. I thought it was the affect of having to listen to a person talk nonstop but it was actually the other problem. The whole time we had not even exchange one word from that hello and I’m sorry conversation, bit instead I might have freaked him out with my behavior back there. Not really my fault though, I didn’t really get a good night sleep last night.